Writing Feedback / IELTS Whether new buildings should be built in traditional style? [6]

I write this arguementative essay for IELTS Writing test. Although I know my wrriten English is poor, I still want to improve it. Thanks for correcting my writing.

Question:
The government is responsible for protecting a nation's cultural identity. Thus, more people believe new buildings should be built in traditional style. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

My writing:
Whether modern buildings should be replaced by traditional buildings is a frequent topic of discussion when people talk about the government takes responsibility of protecting a nation's cultural identity. I'd like to compare new buildings with old buildings before presenting my own opinion.

The supporters of modern style claim that it is the sign of development which cannot be reversed. First of all, modern buildings provide functions which are not possessed by traditional buildings. For instance, emergency exit and digital subscriber loop inner wall are basic and necessary parts of new buildings, whereas traditional ones cannot have these functions which are the necessities of people in modern life. Secondly, modern buildings are more economical than traditional ones in terms of space. New buildings are designed to exploit each inch of land because land resources are becoming less and limited, in contrast, old buildings do not make good use of these resources. And the third, modern style keeps the pace with the world. In other words, new buildings represent that local people have opening mind and accept new cultures.

The supporters of traditional style suggest that it is the only to keep cultural identity. For one thing, those buildings play a vital role in handing down historic heritage and traditions, for children and young people can learn their past and traditions from traditional buildings which are the evidence of history. For another, traditional buildings could be a symptom of cultural identity which attracts the world and further provides opportunities to locals.

General speaking, I personally consider that "traditional versus modern" is not a debate because they are not mutually exclusive. It would be a better choice that both of them work co-operatively in order to embellish cities, and it tends to develop into virtuous circle in where traditional buildings are based on modern ones and vice versa.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - museums and art galleries will disappear soon? [2]

Dear referees, please pick out any expression which is not native with your critical eyes and show the native way, because I plainly know that my Chinglish is serious. By the way, it will be my pleasure if you can teach me how to avoid Chinglish.

Argument:
Modern technology has made it possible for people to view exhibitions at home so museums and art galleries will disappear soon. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:
It is quite common that more and more people can watch exhibitions through television or internet at home due to modern technology; therefore, some people think museums and art galleries will disappear soon. Although modern technology make it possible, I still believe some museums and art galleries will not disappear.

On the one hand, technology indeed simplifies people's life all the time. Obviously, people who watch exhibitions on TV or internet at home, save the time and money on the road, which is increasingly significant particularly to people in modern society. However, in accordance with recent research, experts suggest the lifestyle of individuals in modern society is unhealthy because they lack of physical exercise and face-to-face communication.

On the other hand, the importance of museums and art galleries is plain in terms of education and culture. First of all, authentic exhibits cannot be completely displayed only by images and videos. It is like travelling to a place is much better than viewing the landscape of that place on TV or photos, so the best method to learn one thing is to experience it. Furthermore, museums and art galleries preserve some culture heritages; therefore, these buildings will not disappear unless people abandon their culture.

In conclusion, I admit that modern technology has provided a more convenient and comfortable manner for people to watch exhibitions, but museums and art galleries are necessary to be preserved for its importance of education and culture.