yoyofuny
Mar 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / I like to study with my teacher rather than studying alone. [3]
Hi, I have read about your essay and have some recommendations for you^^
1. In toefl test, you had better write 320~350 words at minimum. So you may expand your introductory paragraph to make it. For me, my structure of introductory paragraph is as follows:
The topic of _____ can be approached from several different angles due to
its complexity. Some people believe that________ others, however, disagree with this idea and are convinced that ___________. In my opinion, it is recommended or even necessary that_______________.
2. I find that you have some spelling and grammar mistakes. You may enhance your grammar ability by reading some grammar books.
3. You may add some words in the start of every paragraph. Like after the first paragraph, you can add "To begin with" then "In addition", finally "last but not the least" to illustrate your two or three reasons.
Hi, I have read about your essay and have some recommendations for you^^
1. In toefl test, you had better write 320~350 words at minimum. So you may expand your introductory paragraph to make it. For me, my structure of introductory paragraph is as follows:
The topic of _____ can be approached from several different angles due to
its complexity. Some people believe that________ others, however, disagree with this idea and are convinced that ___________. In my opinion, it is recommended or even necessary that_______________.
2. I find that you have some spelling and grammar mistakes. You may enhance your grammar ability by reading some grammar books.
3. You may add some words in the start of every paragraph. Like after the first paragraph, you can add "To begin with" then "In addition", finally "last but not the least" to illustrate your two or three reasons.