Undergraduate / 'appreciative for having Paula in my life' - (someone who has made an impact) [3]

The University of Texas has provided the same prompt as previous years, now that it's my turn to take part in the admissions essay I feel stress is getting the better of me. Please help review my assay and provide any comments, questions, etc. Thanks you :)

Prompt: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

If I was to embark on a magnificent adventure with someone, it would have to be with my favorite person, Paula. She is someone I have known all my life- the individual I grew up with, literally. It comes with great difficulty explaining all the different ways she has impacted my life, because there are too many to count. I have considered her to be my sister, my counselor, my teacher, and at times even my mother. Despite the fact she is only three years older than me; I look at Paula, my cousin, with great esteem and admiration.

Ever since my birth we were together, mutually growing and maturing. She has gracefully acted as the older sibling I never had, and I was pleased to have someone to admire. With our opposite natures we perfectly accentuated each other; perhaps it is why our bond grew so strong. Brave and courageous, she was the first person to teach me how to use a swing, ride a bike, and climb a tree. Constantly pushing me forward, she has helped me get over my fear of heights and to persevere when the days seem disheartening. Paula has truly provided a wonderful childhood experience and I could not fathom growing up without her.

I began to realize the extent of our bond when she stood by me when no one else would. This became especially apparent when I decided to come-out to her. Confiding in her was the best decision I ever took, and it felt as if a huge weight was lifted out of my chest. Suddenly I could breathe better and smile genuinely- all thanks to her. Since then, Paula actively encouraged me to be comfortable and confident with whom I was. While problematic at first, her persistence developed my self-assurance and self-esteem. To this day, I profoundly stand in her debt, thankful for all the support she has provided.

Now that we have active agendas, it is no longer easy to see each other as frequently as we once did. Nevertheless, we try to spend our free time together whenever we have the chance. Despite our occasional rendezvous, we manage to keep in touch and retain our friendship with the highest regard. Always maintaining similar ideals, I enjoy that the complexity of our conversation has upheld a sense of mutual understanding. Now that Paula has grown into a courageous, diligent, and witty young woman, I look at her with hopes of the future, eager to take part in the new experiences we will share together.

I am sincerely appreciative for having Paula in my life. My life stands as a testament to her magnificent reassurance and support. Her encouragement has heartened my desire to succeed in life, and it is with her that I wish to share my success with. Despite having no proper blood relation of any kind, I cherish her as if she were my own sister. No, more than a sister, my soul mate.

Undergraduate / 'Reynosa is now enclosed in a crooked government system' - Issue of Importance [5]

The University of Texas has provided a similar prompt from previous years, now that it's my turn to take part in their admissions essays I feel stress is getting the better of me. Please help review my assay and provide any comments, questions, etc. Thanks you :)

Prompt: Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Reynosa, a budding city in northern Mexico bordering McAllen, Texas, is the largest city in the state of Tamaulipas. With a combined population of almost two million, the Reynosa-McAllen metropolitan area holds a massive number of inhabitants creating a distinct cultural diffusion between two divergent cultures. On the Mexican side of the border lies a war between drug cartels, generating unyielding distress upon many who live in the metropolitan area. While on the northern side of the border we watch as the crumbling city falls to corruption but prospers as a successful city of drug trade and criminality. Fully consumed by such an ordeal, we choose to ignore the happenings and focus instead of the possibilities of a city that is destined to grow permanently infamous in the near future.

A once stunning tourist destination, Reynosa is now enclosed in a crooked government system and never ending crime that frightens all newcomers into better destination areas. This did not happen instantly, however, for many Mexican government officials have attempted to change its decaying forthcoming. Futile as it seemed, many became subject to the lust for money, fully ignoring the situation and choosing to side with the criminal. With such a fraudulent government and a disintegrating Mexican economy, some citizens feel it is easier to simply join in on the drug cartel business, further increasing delinquency and corruption in what seems to be an unending cycle of self-destruction.

I am deeply saddened by the situation Reynosa is in, for it holds a great deal of memories I desperately continue to hold on to. What used to be a park I enjoyed is now a crime scene for seven deaths claimed by a cartel battle. What was my father's favorite restaurant is now an abandoned building due to the owner's inability to pay the taxes imposed by another cartel. What many hoped would be a police station is now a mass of concrete remnants, testament to the power cartels hold over government officials. Disguised by lies, the city endures and recurrently poses as the metropolis it once was. But to its residents who know the truth, Reynosa, along with the rest of Tamaulipas, is nothing but an ignominy controlled by the drug trade.

It is an issue of great importance, the increasing anguish within the Reynosa territory has now begun to threaten the borders of McAllen. With great fear, we urgently hope the civil war within Tamaulipas does not transfer to our City of Palms. We must come to terms with the situation and realize our metropolitan area will never be what it once was, and that it faces serious problems. Despite the fact that both cities are prospering economically and expanding successfully, it comes with the costs of crime and the deaths of many. It is up to us whether we will become servants to a drug cartel or side with justice, but whatever our future holds, I am confident McAllen will not hold the same fate as Reynosa. We shall continue to watch as events unfold, while Reynosa thrives through drug dealing, kidnapping, and violence; a city fully consumed in self-obliteration, unending.