Undergraduate / Commonapp Elephant Foot Disease [3]

Hello, someone help me edit this please? Thank you! Maximum 1000 characters.. that's like how many words again?
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum)

It was another day of doing rounds with the doctors at Beth Israel Hospital. In room 4B, a middle aged lady, prostrated in bed, smiled when she saw us. I stifled a gasp when I saw her leg. It was the size of an elephant's; her toes were deformed and almost non-existent because the rest of her enlarged leg engulfed it. She was infected with Elephant Foot disease. The doctor told her that her condition was very serious and her left leg needs to be amputated immediately or else the disease will spread. Apprehension and sadness was written all over her face. Her smile became a quivering frown, as she looked down with her watery eyes.

My heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach. I couldn't stop thinking of how many people suffer from diseases and sicknesses in the world. Some are fortunate to get help and support, while the less fortunate ones are left alone without a cure. By shadowing doctors and helping patients, I learned more about each patient's needs and conditions, which enabled me to find ways to give them better care. I not only want to help people in need, but also let them know that there will always be someone by their side.

I took her hand and smiled. "You'll have less of a burden without your infected leg. Don't worry, everything will be okay." With the encouragement, she gave a wary smile and agreed to the surgery.

Undergraduate / BU Essays - ROOMMATE / DIALOGUE [6]

It is three weeks before the start of your freshman year at BU, and you are talking to your new roommate for the first time. Since you are trying to get to know each other, what are a few things you would want to share about who you are? I have a problem, my friend said that I'm off topic. But idk if i can write it like this. This is basically like what I'm going to tell my roommate when I meet her.. Idk if the admission officers will get what I'm writing. What do you guys think? Off topic? Should I rewrite this in a dialogue form?

Thanks!

I check my watch-15 minutes early. I hate being late for anything, whether it's meeting up with friends or going to class. I slow my pace and walk into 660 Beacon Street. Inside Barnes and Noble, I try to find my new roommate. At first, we planned to meet at Starbucks, but then I told her that I'm not a big fan of coffee, because I think it's bitter, so we agreed to meet at Barnes and Noble since it's also one of her favorite stores.

I walk around the store looking for her while also keeping my eye out for any interesting books like Midnight's Children, The Help, Vampire Academy Series or any novel, historical fiction science fiction, or cookbook. I'm excited to meet my new roommate because I know I'll like her, or at least, I'll learn to like her. It's rare for me to dislike anyone unless they are really annoying or if they dislike me. Otherwise, I'm a very amicable person who's open to different cultures and eager to learn new things and have new adventures. I can learn about her heritage and can educate her about Chinese culture, and spreading awareness that Asians are not the stereotypical type as we are labeled as. I can't wait to share our different experiences.

I hope my roommate is not a party animal and doesn't stay up past1 A.M., because usually I try to sleep around 10P.M and wake up around 8A.M. As Benjamin Franklin once said, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." Hopefully my roommate knows that that I like to work in a quiet, orderly, and clean environment. I hope she won't have clothes and food lying around our room. I do not want extra creepy crawlers coming into our room at night. Moreover, she can blast any type of music as long as it's not rap. I like anything classical, R&B, or mainstream.

When we become acquainted and have a laugh or two, we can go out for lunch. We can go back to my home state, New York and eat at Red Lobster, Chipotle or Crumbs. IchiUmi is also a great choice, if she likes sushi. I don't eat raw food, but I'm not a picky eater; I love any type of food from Italian to Thai to Chinese to French. After lunch we can go work out in a gym. I love to swim and play sports. I basically spent my whole life playing piano, swimming, and drawing. I also enjoy going to different places and expanding my horizons. Every summer my parents will take my brother and me on a vacation to see different famous landmarks, such as the Yellowstone Park, Florida, Texas, to Alaska. I hope my roommate will be active because I plan to participate in many of BU's student activities, meet new people.

The hour hand just landed on 12, when I heard a bubbly voice behind me. "You must be Sunny! Yes, another person my height." I turn around to see a 5'7" girl with a bright smile. Yes, we're going to get along quite well and I can't wait to tell her all the facts about me.