Undergraduate / (No A lack of effort) Two versions of Common App essay [6]

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

ORIGINAL

A lack of effort has never been my problem. When I ran track at the junior varsity level, I spent every practice chasing the varsity sprinters with everything I had. I wouldn't stop when I got tired; I stopped when there was insufficient oxygen in my system to sustain eyesight- or when I threw up. No for me it's been about capacity, which, when speaking of academics, is as much of a blessing as a curse. It was in AP European History that I was first presented with a challenge I could pursue without respect to a body that so frequently failed me in track practice. All that success in academics required was an able mind and strong will.

I could work for perfection in these AP classes. Sleep was of ill consequence as I had coffee and parents proud of my work ethic. From sophomore year to, well, about two weeks ago, I had simply worked and worked and worked, into and sometimes straight through the night. These nights I would feel pain throughout my entire body, but being that I didn't throw up and I could still see- I pressed on. I'd often spend hours gathering information that I knew wouldn't be on the test- just for the rush of pounding down cups of coffee and to later relish in what I thought to be a most admirable work ethic. I just ignored the fact that I spent my days living as a zombie.

This November, my system was pushed to its breaking point. College applications aside, I had taken a two week mission trip to Cambodia the month prior which had unexpectedly become three weeks when I came down with malaria. As soon as I recovered I fell back on my proven system: work until your body shuts down. I stood a week of self-inflicted abuse before salvation came in the form a revelation. In a moment lucid in experience but now surreal in memory, I finally understood --

It was a cycle.

Staying up late didn't help my grades or performance any more than would sleep! The only difference being, sleep affords such mental clarity during the day that commitments not only academic but also personal- receive more quality attention than if I spent twice the time working toward them with no sleep. By working into delirium nightly, I just didn't have the presence of mind to see that my other commitments were suffering during the day.

While an unorthodox lesson learned from a mission trip of 8,000 miles and an often fatal disease, I'm very glad to have hit that wall. I still have every intention of giving everything I have in my pursuits (both in and after college) but now I see to do so without respecting my body is counterproductive. I look forward to a life in which I pursue my commitments with not only the best of my well slept efforts, but also with contagious enthusiasm.

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REVISED

From sophomore year to, well, about one month ago, I simply worked and worked and worked, into and sometimes straight through the night. Sleep was of ill consequence as I had coffee and parents proud of my work ethic. These nights I would feel pain throughout my entire body, but being that I didn't throw up and I could still see straight- I pressed on. I'd often spend hours gathering information that I knew wouldn't be on the test- just for the rush of pounding down cups of coffee and to later relish in what I thought to be a most admirable work ethic. I ignored the fact that I spent my days living as a zombie.

This November, my system was pushed to its breaking point. College applications aside, I had taken a two week mission trip to Cambodia the month prior which had unexpectedly become three weeks when I came down with malaria. As soon as I recovered I fell back on my proven system: work until your body shuts down. I stood a week of self-inflicted abuse before salvation came in the form a revelation. In a moment lucid in experience but now surreal in memory, I finally understood-

It was a cycle.

Staying up late didn't help my grades or performance any more than would sleep! By working into delirium nightly, I just didn't have the presence of mind to see that my other commitments were suffering during the day. While in the most confined sense this lesson is of balancing sleep and work, I don't plan on confining it. The fact that it took so long for me to realize what was happening, and the benefits I've already seen from just so much as seven hours a night, have led me to be more aware of my approach to my weaknesses versus my strengths.

It's irrational to spend an inordinate amount of time working on my most stubborn areas of weakness in say, AP Literature or Student Government, when I could with improve in areas of equal detriment with less work. It's really the idea of picking my battles wisely, something I've understood in the interpersonal realm of conflict management but never thought to apply to the intrapersonal realm of time management. This may seem obvious to some but it sure didn't seem obvious to me. Luckily, there are plenty out there to see the obvious for me; I just need to listen to them.

But more than coming to a more effective strategy to improve upon areas of weakness, in these past few weeks I've noticed some of my biggest strengths in academia. I ask pointed and purposeful questions, formulated to yield succinct answers to otherwise extremely "grey" topics. I provoke discussion and solicit the opinions of other brilliant people around me, and I enjoy doing so! This revelation, experienced during a caffeine-fueled and pain-ridden perfectionistic study session, has provided me with a newfound importance of self-awareness, and of strengths and weaknesses.

Undergraduate / (Humanities most profitable ventures) What matters to you and why? -- Stanford [6]

This is the first draft of my "what matters to you and why" essay for the Stanford supplement. Being that the draft is so early, any criticism is welcome.

I value collaboration because of what it's produced.

Humanities most profitable ventures have been a product of collaboration. There is active collaboration, as in Wikipedia, Mozilla, and Linux. Then there is passive collaboration, found in supercomputing collectives and reCAPTCHAs (did you know you were digitizing books by filling out those annoying security questions?). The scientific and transportation revolutions, along with dozens of democratic revolutions were and ARE all driven by collaboration.

I also love collaboration because I love people (admittedly, some more than others). Now, I frequently work independently and sometimes even prefer doing so (this is particularly true of research for Speech and Debate where I tend to read and understand the full text of relevant bills rather than settle for an online summary). The deciding factor between collaboration and working independently is in the quality and dedication, the selection, of the people I would be working with. But of those times when I have the privilege to work with brilliant young men and women, there is no hesitation. There is no secondary factor, there is no ego to preserve, worth to prove, or command-and-control desire to satisfy when I engage in collaboration. There is only the joy and pride in being a part of something great, and in the comradery of my collaborators.

I love collaboration because each of the three possible dynamics has something in it for me. Should the group already have strong leadership, I get to learn from a strong leader. Should I be called on to become a leader, I have a chance to exercise that which I've spent so much time learning, and more importantly, I get to help people reach their potential. Should the group function so well and so autonomously that it needs no leader? Well, that reward seems self-evident.

Collaboration. It's the stuff of people, it's the stuff of revolutions, and it's the stuff of leaders. It's what I love and it's what I value.