Undergraduate / uRochester "Ever Better" [3]

Meliora: 'Ever better' - The University's motto, Meliora, directs our focus toward continual improvement through research, understanding, and collaborative efforts. Offer an example from your personal experience of an obstacle you faced or a problem you identified. Describe the actions you took and the result. (125 words)

My junior year, I would make a list after every basketball game. I would write down everything I thought I needed to work on. I would forget that I was playing on a team and that I didn't need to do everything. Doing everything would exhaust me, cause my teammates to think they could relax, frustrate me because they were relaxing, and exhaust me further to make up for their shortcomings. I had to step back, assess the situation, reflect on it, and finally relax before we, as a team, could improve. I made a new list, "Breathe". This year, there is a tremendous amount of improvement, we are better, because we now understand collaboration, communication, and unity.

Is this good? Decent enough?

Undergraduate / "You brought the team together" personal statement [5]

this is my generic essay for the generic prompt,
Using the space below, please write between 250 and 500 words to describe a special interest, significant experience or achievement, or anything else that has special meaning to you or had a significant influence on you.

When I received the Coach's Award for softball during my sophomore year, my initial reaction was less than grateful. I felt guilty and inadequate. I had fractured my femur two weeks into the season and I felt like I was only special because I had a broken leg.

I spent that last day of class, one devoted to celebration, confined by my crutches, sitting in silence. When my coach passed by I asked, "Why did you give it to me?" He simply said, "You brought the team together." I didn't believe him. I didn't understand him, but I never forgot it. It wasn't until the following autumn when I discovered he had resigned as coach that I was finally able to believe him. He would not give away his last award for so little when it had meant so much.

Maybe it was the time I was late to a morning run and ran around Jackson Heights looking for a team could have been in a different neighborhood by the time I had even knotted my laces. I searched anyway and I couldn't have been happier when I found them. Or maybe it was the tears I shed along with my teammates after we lost the championships. Or maybe it was the breakfast I prepared while on crutches just so I could gather the team together and be with them once more. Or maybe it was the sacrifice and strength they saw the year before, in the one freshman brave enough to join the team.

My team knew what I was prepared to sacrifice if it meant I could be there with them through every game and grueling practice. I know the team appreciated that and it meant as much to them as it did to me. My coach saw what I couldn't, that I reminded them that it was worth the sacrifice, they were worth the sacrifice. That must have been how I brought the team together.

Now when I play softball, when I am actually on the field, there's no greater feeling because I know that I'm worthy. I've proved it. No one else on the field can even compare to what I've been through. Every year counts when there's only four and after being deprived of two, I don't take it for granted. My award doesn't let me take it for granted.

I cherish every moment. It's worth running until you can't see straight anymore. It's worth waking up at five a.m. for practice. It's worth it all because if I've learned anything it's this: I'd rather be in and in pain than be out on the sidelines. Now I know exactly what makes me special. Challenges may scare me, but I know that I step up, not down.