Undergraduate / 'Making a difference and becoming an engineer' - Brown Supplement [5]

Can somebody please check my Brown Supplement Essay?

The topic is: Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated? (My area is engineering) Limit is of 300 characters
Participating on various Math Olympics has helped me develop the ability to think analytically and solve problems easily. My increasing passion for numbers enhances my ability to set my goals and never give up until I find an answer. I want to make a difference, I want to become an engineer.

Thanks in advance!

Undergraduate / 'Communities, groups, purposes' - Brown supplement essay [3]

Please revise it! I will try to return the favor.

The topic is: We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you. ( limit is 1000 characters)

The director raises his arms, agitates his baton, and the glorious melody starts. Everyone follows their leader, playing their own instrument. Despite the fact each produces a different tune at different frequencies, it is the final product the one that impacts the crowd and fills the room with magnificent melody. They are a community.

A community is a conglomeration of individuals who share a common interest. In an orchestra the love for music is a common feeling for all its members.

Every member is important or the community would not work to its optimum. The musicians need as much their instruments as they need each other and their director. Without a director the music would not be harmonious; without the musicians no music at all could be played.

Being part of this community has helped me become persistent. I have been able to play songs that are challenging for me, despite their difficulty I go for them. Band has helped me to become a goal achiever.

Thanks in advance!

Undergraduate / 'Drawn to Math Olympics' - Brown Supplement Essay? [4]

The topic is: Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated? (My area is engineering) Limit is of 300 characters
Participating on various Math Olympics has helped me develop the ability to think analytically and solve problems easily. My increasing passion for numbers enhances my ability to set my goals and never give up until I find an answer. I want to make a difference, I want to become an engineer.

Thanks in advance!