Undergraduate / 'early stages of my life were transient' - UC Prompt #1; Mechanical Engineering [NEW]

Alright, here's a draft of my Prompt #1 essay and its late I know. But due to compulsory military service that's required of me, I wasn't able to find much time to have it done...

Please give me some helpful pointers! I'm feeling that I'm not really connecting that WORLD I'm living in versus my aspirations... Dear Kevin, do you think I should change my last few paragraphs and do more linkage on my world and what I've aspired of dreamt of? I'm stuck and have no idea what to do to this essay now...

If someone were to ask me to describe my life as a kid, I would reply, all that I knew was that the early stages of my life were transient. They felt evanescent with a touch of whimsy lost in translation and I was not able to garner much information from the not-so-distant past. Yet, one thing I knew for sure: That my dire lust for complex machinery shows the mechanical engineer inside me.

The frantic roar of an engine coming to life was a frightening experience. A grey metallic orifice sputtered and stuttered hues of bluish grey smoke against the cool night sky. I gave the throttle a light blip and the revs climbed willingly, accompanied by a sweet serenading growl. Giving the car a final check, I registered in my mind; transmission checked, differentials checked, camber angle checked, suspension checked and we were ready to go!

I was only eight when I first landed myself with a gasoline powered radio controlled car. Fanciful it may sound, it was not just another toy but one that offered what a real car had, save for passenger seats and air conditioning. I remembered vividly the nights we (my dad and I) would spend, running through books on machine theory and automotive engineering in a desperate attempt to piece together the complex puzzle of nuts, bolts, gears and pistons. Terms like mechanical efficiency, indicated mean effective pressure and graphs that were as complex as ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics bombarded my young mind.

I bit my lips as I gingerly ran through the key components of the engine, assembling them with my deft little fingers. Running through the pistons, crankcase and camshaft, I was awestruck by such mechanical ingenuity of the internal combustion engine.

Such simple ideas gave rise to many of the greatest mechanical marvels of today. I vowed that one day, like what Karl Benz and Gottlieb Daimler had contributed to the world with their invention of the internal combustion engine; I too would create something of great impact and bring their works to a whole new level. Wouldn't it be great if one day, we could have super cars that ran on clean green engines or factories that expelled nothing but water vapor? The possibilities lay abound, waiting to be tapped into and I envisioned these to be a dream come through one day as I see myself applying this mechanical aptitude to greater use. After all, my dad, an engineer by background has always held true to his heart; the application of knowledge to create true value in helping the world.

It came upon me that such aspirations and dreams could only be wholesome and complete if the environment allows for such developments. Being near the Silicon Valley, where dreams and aspirations of young engineers often ended up as a reality, UC Berkeley offers me a conducive environment to further pursue my interest in mechanical engineering. The formulae to success could never have been better.

What better place do I have to fulfill this dream and aspiration?

Undergraduate / The way of life-----UC PROMPT #2 [5]

Here's my answer to UC Prompt #2. I'm having a bit of problem trying to add more depth into the essay.

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

My palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy. I tried to focus as my master's voice rang through the musky air in the gym. "Just what was I thinking? Putting myself in all this discomfort on a Saturday morning?" I grimly thought to myself. "Aeeyah!!!" a loud "Kiai" rang through the silent air and the blur of a wooden sword came crashing down my cranium. Snapping out of my monotonous idle, I jumped back and felt the rustle of my fringe as the tip of the sword came dangerously close to my head. "Just what do you think you're doing?" my master's voice bellowed. Obviously, I wasn't paying attention as my opponent attacked me, resulting in a near miss and me, stumbling across the parquet flooring.

Welcome to Shinkendo; a traditional martial art in Japanese swordsmanship founded by Mr. Obata Toshishiro, more commonly known as Obata Sensei. I have been involved in this art for five years already.

The art itself embodies the harmony of our mind, soul, body and spirit. It heavily advocates on the harmonization of human beings and nature, and balance of Yin and Yang. Above all, it instills upon the practitioner, a sense of self awareness, constant reflection, discipline and humility.

The grueling and repetitive training was more of a mind over matter issue. One either crumbles under such pressure or move on as a stronger person. Like the rest of the more senior students, I have endured a lot since my very first day at the Dojo. Trainings were held twice a week in a regimental form. Complaints were frequent so were dragging of our half dead bodies back home a weekly "ritual". Yet, albeit these difficulties, I enjoyed and learnt a great deal through this art.

Trainings always ended with a short meditation - to recharge and refresh, but more importantly, it serves as a reflection of the day's seeking. Ironic as it may sound, this is where true learning and understanding of the art and how oneself relates to it. This Zen like training has greatly influenced my outlook and the way I interact with the world around me.

Much as the art always emphasized the importance of seeing beyond the apparent on-coming movements of your sparing partners or opponents, I have learnt how not to judge people merely through rose tinted glasses or succumb them to stereotypes of the society. Seeking to understanding a person as reflected by his/her intent would be one of my guiding principle.

In the context of learning and quest for knowledge, the art of Shinkendo reinforces my understanding and belief that real breakthrough can only be possible with wholesome understanding of the subject fundamentals.

There are many other subtle areas of my life that the principle of this art has touched me. Abstract as it may be, and with a citation from "A Book of Five Rings" - the end point is the beginning, great virtue is simplicity, I have to admit that it has already cast an indelible imprint on me.

Undergraduate / Obedient yet rebellious, disciplined, unruly; this person influenced me [25]

Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

To be honest, I can't think of anyone who has made a really great impact on my life. I was actually thinking of writing this alter ego of mine and how he has shaped me to who I am or what I am today. Do you think this is a risky idea? I wrote a little on it already and am stuck. I can't seem to draw a clear line between that alter ego and me or do a proper linkage between me and him. Need some serious help. I might end up sticking to the more conventional way of writing on someone rather than this. Anyway, here's an excerpt of what I've written so far.

X made an impact on my life. X made me who I am and what I am today. X helped me to realize my dreams and aspirations; more importantly he led me on a path towards it. X, is important to me.

Meet X, my alter ego. Shaped and formed through the years under the careful, moralistic upbringing by my watchful parents. The rich Chinese heritage and strict family values gave birth to a child who was obedient yet rebellious, disciplined then again unruly. Hints of oxymoron characteristic traits were seen in this child but he grew up bursting with youthfulness and cheerfulness. A happy childhood is all one can guess.

Undergraduate / UT ESSAY (Choose an issue of importance to you, education in Singapore) [3]

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

This is my essay, do give me some helpful pointers! Thanks alot!

The education system in Singapore has evolved immensely since the first day I attended school. From elementary to high school, the system incorporates a wholesome selection of subjects and syllabuses. Students are taught many various subjects that ranged from language to humanities as well as the usual math and science. The ministry of education also stresses on producing generally better averages rather than focusing purely on the highs while neglecting the lows when it comes to results. It is without doubt that the government has done a great job in inculcating the learning generation with skill sets to ace the examinations. The broad topics covered and the holistic approach that schools adopt has helped nurture a new generation of the country's youth. On top of that, in the recent years, the education system has been moving towards one that is more flexible and diverse.

Yet, albeit all these changes, the education system failed spectacularly in preparing one to make informed decisions about certain critical aspects of life. An example would be the lack of Knowledge in personal finance management. As we delve further on into the passage, we would realize that this isn't simply a matter of not teaching us financial management in school but a result of a flaw in the education system. It is also the main reason why Singapore; ranked the world's no.1 country in terms of math and science rankings for school children ironically produce very few top ranked scientists, entrepreneurs, inventors, business executives or academics. This is a stark contrast to other countries especially America where school children tend to do much worse in the fourth and eighth grades but seem to do better later in life and in the real world. Why is that so then?

First and foremost, let us look at the word meritocracy. A meritocratic society rewards the abled and talented accordingly. This is the primary "educational doctrine" in Singapore's education system. One may argue that indeed, many of the developed nations across the world practice meritocracy in their educational systems as well, but let me tell you, Singapore's meritocracy is based purely on exams alone. This is very different from the American system of "talent meritocracy" and even our very own minister of education, Mr. Shanmugaratnam, has acknowledged and agreed that there are in fact some parts of the intellect that we are not able to test well-like creativity, curiosity, a sense of adventure and ambition. These distinctive traits in our local education system are the reason why students lack the inquisitiveness and daringness in learning that challenges conventional wisdom, even if it means challenging the authorities. Students tend to be book smart and exam smart. Tests are mere channels for them to regurgitate what they've memorized in texts and this process repeats itself over and over again in various forms as the child progresses through different stages in his schooling life.

I personally feel that the main purpose of education is to impart knowledge and comprehensive abilities in one so that human beings will be able to understand what goes on around them and subsequently, be able to make informed decisions by themselves. At the same time it is to also encourage learning and the acquisition of knowledge base on one's passion. Sadly, this has not been the case for all those whom conformed under the local education system. The rigid and inflexible structure allows very little room for kids to develop their creativity, imagination and douses their interest in learning. The social impact of such a squared system results in kids who memorize without truly understanding. Scores were of higher importance than the true learning process. This is exactly the reason why true performers in the real world don't make up the bulk of our graduating cohort even if it meant that they did well in school.

I myself was also put under such a system since young and to be honest, I did fairly well. Since young, I had an inquisitive mind and was always interested in complex machineries and mechanical wonders. These were all signs of an aspiring mechanical engineer, probably passed down from my dad since he was one too. Yet under such a rigid system, I was always discouraged by teachers in school to pursue my interest or share about it. School was more about memorizing the events during World War 2 or the next math formulae rather than discussing the hows and why's of things. It wasn't as if we were forbid to question the reason behind things; it just wasn't the culture to do so. The culture of making learning something to love and engage in with gusto is totally absent in a society like this.

In a recently published local news, there was an entry on an inter school debate that was held amongst different schools in Singapore. High schools more commonly known as Junior Colleges competed against each other to clinch the top award. Scores of the debate were published on the papers every week and eventually, two schools reached the finals. One of them was the Singapore International American School while the other was Singapore's very own premier institute, Raffles Junior College. The final for the debate was held on national TV and Singapore's top school was obliterated by The Singapore International American School. I remembered vividly how the news came to be a shocking revelation in days to come and commanded widespread controversy amongst students and teachers alike. It was then discussed on news that although the debaters' hailed from Singapore's top institution and had impeccable scholastic records, they lacked the ability to think critically and analyze real world problems as succinctly as their American counterparts. A step by step break down of the education in Singapore and its methodologies were later discussed in the papers and they came up with the conclusion that the fault laid in our rigid and unyielding structure which resulted in a stinted growth and development of a child's brain.

It is no doubt that the government wants to nurture young Singaporeans who can ask questions and look for answers and who are also willing to think in new ways, solve new problems and create new opportunities for the future. At the same time, they also want to help their young to build up a set of sound values so that they have the strength of character and resilience to deal with life's inevitable setbacks without being unduly discouraged; so that they have the willingness to work hard to achieve their dreams. Yet to achieve this, we have to look at the fundamentals and aspects of our culture and system. Are we really on track towards a less rigid and more flexible system so as to advocate fun learning? Are we doing the right thing for generations to come? Or will we always be culturally challenged to make such a change? As long as this issue isn't addressed, our so called "world class" education system would never truly be world class.

After all, how is wholesome and holistic education complete if a graduate cannot even make sound decisions in the real world? I truly desperately worry for the next generation of students!