Writing Feedback / Negative experiences and priceless lessons (My first SAT essay) [3]

Assignment: Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Success is not a spontaneous combustion. You will not succeed unless you make any efforts. Hence, is it essential if we relinquish thinking of experiences which ameliorated us in a true way? No matter how hard your memories were, it should be perhaps a big motivation for anyone to achieve the next ladder of success! Occasionally, people avoid coping with what they did wrong! Notwithstanding, they do not recognize that each failure is properly a stable step to success!

For everyone, a failure is inevitable. We should learn how to overcome it instead of running it away. Steve Jobs, who is best known for his incredible Apple Inc., stood on all his own mistakes . He has played a pivotal role in building up an enormous Apple and creating the smart-portable devices ' generation like IPhone and IPad . Nobody nevertheless counted how many mistakes he made before succeeding in Apple. He never graduated from any colleges, he dropped out Reed College after enrolling only 6 months due to his lack of money. Hence, he spent several years in the first Apple on struggling to design a competitive product before being fired due to his unsuccessful achievements. All of them seemed to trip up an ambitious man like Steve Jobs. However, he already proved that nothing can prevent him from being successful. He collaborated with Pixar and Disney, consolidated them to be the most well-known film-makers in the world. Those took him to return Apple and made him one of the most talented CEOs today.

To my mind, what you have experienced not only matures you, but also provides you with skills and knowledge. Your experiences can sometimes be used as a reference or even "a key" to solve your problem. At the age of thirteen, I was exasperated that I got a rejection from a Singapore scholarship. At that moment, I did endeavour to contribute all of my efforts, to no avail, that I would be able to study abroad. Subsequently, I despaired of doing everything until I recovered and perceived that "Every cloud has a silver lining". I made a decision to challenge myself in the next opportunities. Eventually, I overcame one of the worst moments in my life and then I fortunately realize that no matter how good it will become, just give it your best try, you are the winner!

Substantially, everything always has pros and cons. It will lead to a true path to success, albeit good or bad memories. Negative experiences will be obviously priceless lessons under any circumstances. On the other hand, it should be somewhat big motivations if you experience positively. All of them are enormous motivations whereby you can be "lifted" to brighter ladder of success.

Writing Feedback / SAT Essay : Strive to better themselves or accept who they are and what they have ? [4]

Please help me to grade (over 12) and correct my essay. Your help will be highly appreciated ! Thanks a lot !

Assignment:
Is it best for people to accept who they are and what they have, or should people always strive to better themselves? Plan and
write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken
from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
People need to strive for a better life. A life will be meaningless if no one
strives harshly to prove that it is worth living in his life. History also shows that a
man who is always not satisfied with what he possessed often tends to be an
influential man. This type of people probably flabbergasts others by spectacular
actions.

No one in this world can acquire perfection. Everybody always has pros
and cons. Otherwise, the primary difference between the winners and the losers
is just the way of perceiving their advantages as well as their disadvantages.
The winners see their success as a motivation and their failure as a lesson.
Thereafter, both of them can apparently enhance the winners to greater steps of
success. On the other hand, the losers are truly egotistic with all their
achievements and somehow find the ways hide their losses as stealthy as
possible.

Japan can be a bright symbol for everyone to emulate. After WWII, this
country was overwhelmed by their burdensome debts, the tumbledown facilities
and the malnutrition of people. At that moment, they had nothing, not even the
natural resources. They quickly accepted their failures in WWII, stood out and
started from scratch. They do endeavour to develop their universalized
education, consolidate their diplomat relationship to alternative countries and
build up their crucial industries. By the wills and determines, Japan has become
a redoubtable rival in Asia, where has a strong financial market as well as
modernized technology. With their capabilities and unceasing efforts, Japan is
inevitably believed to go further in the near future.

Despite imponderable abilities of humans, people should understand
where they are standing! Hitler, a disputable character, would not have
committed suicide in an ignominious circumstance if he had known his
limitations. He had an exemplary potential in military and also thought that he
had an "unbeaten" army with a heap of simply successes. His self-confidences
indeed killed him. His army lost comprehensively in Russia and this battle forced
him and his alliances to lose all the war.

The more you are striving now, the better you will get in the future. The
development of human beings is mainly the development of the society. People
should impulse themselves to overcome new obstacles in lieu of allowing
themselves to stop and be satisfied. However, they should sometimes accept
themselves to avoid unnecessary losses.

Undergraduate / Common App - Extracurricular - Volunteer project; improving education for poor children [3]

This is my first draft, please give me some corrections for grammar as well as uses of word. Thanks.

As my passion of improving education for poor children, my teammates and I decided to establish our volunteer project to universalize education as well as build up some essential facilities supported to their education. We chose a small village in Vietnam to carry out our project. But everything never comes easily. As this town town is located at remote area, there were not sufficient food and electricity; therefore, it caused some difficulties against us. However, these children were so diligent and eager to learn new things; which gave us strong motivations. We began to set up a nice classroom with new blackboard, repaired desks and several decorative posters. We assisted children how to brush their teeth as well as protect themselves. Moreover, we taught them about fundamental knowledge and skills which are definitely beneficial to their real lives. Over one week, they got accustomed of going to school every day, doing homework or playing educational games. This experience obviously enhances me to be a more responsible man who dares to dedicate his youth to society's development.

Undergraduate / Common App-Evaluate a significant experience; Your husband has been arrested by the police [2]

Challenges will sometimes come in your life. It could desperately let you down or an impetus would enhance you to the next ladder of success. Hence, it is more important to ahead towards new future instead of looking back to the awful past.

"Hello ! Your husband has been arrested by the police. He was accused of making some seriously mistaken decisions when managing the corporation." The police officer said to my mother. When I was only in grade 6th, I must get accustomed of the life without my father. My mom, brother and I were desperately so shocked and had to start everything from scratch within the innuendos, suspicions and even embarrassments. And I finally cried. The tears did keep on dropping on my faces at nights when being alone in my empty room. "How dreadfully everything has changed" I whispered to myself. Moreover I got some difficulties in school after these downcast news and became a more reserved boy who never wanted to share anything with anyone. Otherwise, my father was sentenced in a prison far away from my house for the investigation. Thus what I most wanted to do is just to wait for every Thursday when I could visit him. And once again I cried because of a handmade kite. He spent all times in prision making it for me. He knew this was my most coveted present during my childhood. "Don't be depressed, darling. You can not run away your fate, let's fight for it. Regarded what has happened as obstacles you may encounter in life and do your best to overcome. Like this kite, you should fly your dream higher and higher. And I believe you can do it !" "No one can acquire perfection. What I have done would be judged by the court. But I am definitely your beloved father who always looks forward to your brighter achievements." He slightly encouraged me. I couldn't speak anything but a promise that I would study hard.

Over 6 years, I become a stronger, wiser and more mature man who is willing to give helps to anyone or to share sorrows and joys. During that time, I made unceasing efforts to achieve my dream - to be a businessman. I went to school, met up my friends and tutors, worked for a part-time job as well as helped my mother do her housework. I always think that my father will be proud of me. Now it is just a few steps away from my promise on him that I can get admissions to an American university. Hence, by working hard, I believed that every insurmountable challenges could be overcome.