Undergraduate / 'the BBB Society Professor of the Year' - UPENN professor short answer [6]

Hello. I need some help on the sentence flow and grammar in this essay. I'm not sure about the introduction, but it was an attempt at making this interesting. I tried to go back to it at the end by saying "this entrapment has changed the grip of a furious antagonist to the affectionate embraceing of a friend" but the character count is too much and now it sounds kind of dumb, so i took it out

The human brain has engulfed me.

The brain ensnares me in never-ending thoughts, spellbinding me with intricate memories and perceptions. Fighting to slacken its hold on my body, I dodge firing neurons and shield myself from the angry wrath of the amygdala.

My knowledge of what the brain is capable of acts as my only tool for survival.

The foundation of this ensnarement lies in my fascination with the brain as a final frontier of science. Concentrating in neuroscience while majoring in biology in my undergraduate years will give me the resources needed to better understand the brain. By studying under the guidance of Professor Ted Abel, my captivation by the brain can only strengthen as my knowledge of functions of the brain such as memory and genetics. Professor Abel's numerous accomplishments such as receiving the BBB Society Professor of the Year by his undergraduate students proves his immense talent as a teacher and advisor. His active involvement in his students' research using mice to study behavior, as well as his described "approachability", make him the ideal mentor to help me contribute to this field of the future. (956/1000)

Undergraduate / UVA shocking art [3]

Hello! Here is my UVA short answer for a piece of art which has shocked/unsettled and why. I really need help with flow and grammar, and basically your overall opinion of the essay. Thanks!

The Disasters of War. In no other work of art have I ever witnessed etchings so full of malice and darkness. Whether it is a decapitated head resting atop a tree branch or a mangled body swinging from a noose, Spanish artist Francisco de Goya prods me to take a deeper look at the savagery which coincides with warfare. What atrocities this deaf artist must have experienced, as the grotesque portrayals in his black and white etchings illustrate the superfluous bloodshed as well as Goya's disgust with human nature.

I came across a number of these diminutive prints lodged between much larger and more ornate paintings and frames while scavenging at a local thrift store. Absorbed by the bleak and minute details; the horror-struck expressions on the faces of its subjects disturbed me. The pain and anguish evident as women fought soldiers to save themselves from rape, and men perish on heaps of human bodies. Never before had I been exposed to such gory art. Print after print, unperturbed by the dust which had collected over the years, I observed the idiocy of war and the innate darkness which lies in the core of every man. The portraits' capacity to unsettle lies in Francisco de Goya's distaste for the nature of war and its ability to transform men into inhumane beasts. To this day, gazing at "this is worse", an etching of a man impaled on a tree, I cannot help but feel a disturbing tingling at the complete abandonment of moral values. (253/250)

Undergraduate / Hopefully my last: Why BU [5]

lol. I just finished this and really want to just finally submit everything! Please comment on grammar and especially on the actual wording, and what sentences seem superfluous and such. THANKS.

As a junior in high School, I lacked the fiery passion my peers kept roaring for specific universities. It seems as if they were certain of the college they would attend since exiting the womb into the gargantuan world of myriad opportunities. Whether it is a parent's alma mater or a dream university printed horizontally across a worn and shabby sweatshirt, I was riddled with uncertainties as to where I should spend my years of studying, making connections, and preparing for my career.

The change came the moment I stepped out of the car and onto the grounds of Boston University. I was won over instantly. Soon I found myself searching for every tidbit of information obtainable about this majestic school, trying to make sure it was the right school for me before I gave BU my heart completely. Are we compatible? Do we have the same interests, the same principles?

Boston University and I, as I am delighted to assert, have much in common. The diversity found on the grounds of BU is immense, as you hear different languages spoken all around you. The diversity exists not only culturally, but also in interests as hundreds of clubs and organizations beckons to the prospective students eagerly absorbing the intricate details of the campus. While attending Boston University, I would enjoy the luxury of partaking and thriving in any activity I wish, most importantly theatre and community service. I would love to be able to contribute to FYSOP, particularly in homelessness, human rights, and hunger.

Most importantly, Boston University provides undergraduates with the option of specializing in neuroscience while majoring in biology. I hope to seek the assistance of Dr. Glen Zamansky for counseling on how to obtain my career goals and how I can best prepare myself for medical school.

Strolling along Commonwealth Avenue, listening to the sounds of WTBU, and commuting on the BUS; I cannot fathom anything more enjoyable.

Undergraduate / Uva favorite word - Uncertainty [3]

please please please help. I feel this is unclear! It's also shorter than the 250 words stated. do you think it will be fine?

Uncertainty for some acts as a gargantuan dark cloud whose only purpose is to obscure the sun, the bringer of light. For those who seek sureness, uncertainty arouses sensations of fear as it impairs vision, and hazes understanding. Unfortunately, this rejection of uncertainty hinders development of new or different opinions.

Uncertainty is a word that is very powerful to me. Instead of covering my eyes with rose-tinted glasses, I choose to accept the perplexities of the world to make way for growth and improvement. Pursuing a career in neuroscience requires this embracing of uncertainty since much of this thriving field has yet to be discovered, and so is uncertain. The first step in contributing to this field is to accept that much is uncertain, so that I may acknowledge that discoveries are to be made.

Uncertainty defines the world that surrounds me.
Uncertainty makes creativity possible, since change occurs only when accepted understandings and outlooks fade to make room for the new. While discussing works of literature with my peers, I choose not to blindly accept their beliefs and views as the only truths, but instead question their stances to better understand my own views and assumptions.

With uncertainty, the outcomes of life are boundless.