Undergraduate / Common Apps Essay (two very different worlds: US and Korea) [5]

Hi! I have to finish this essay due 1/1.. I am desperate for help right now because I am a terrible writer.. Please Help!! I did not even write the conclusion yet... I need some suggestions on how to make this essay consise and to write a conclusion. Thank You!!

Topic: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

I have lived in two very different worlds. Although an American citizen born in the United States, I have lived more than half of my life in South Korea. I am proud of my American roots, but I am equally proud of my Korean heritage. I certainly like to believe that my bicultural background gives me some unique perspectives and has led me to be more open to differences than I otherwise might be. That background, however, has also presented challenges. Because only a few people enjoy being faced with setbacks, I used to regard hardships as particularly bad things that ruined my life. However, when I viewed my ordeal in retrospect, I realized that the setbacks enlightened the life path that I would travel on. The obstacles did not only shape most of my personalities and passions but also helped me grow on many levels as I strived to overcome them.

At age of five, I and my mother moved to South Korea from the United States. I could not go to kindergarten because I did not speak Korean fluently and was not fully acquainted with the new environment. After three years of learning Korean, I went to the elementary school where I could not get along with the other kids easily because of my special background. One day, I hit a 13-year-old boy with a soccer ball in the face by mistake. I apologized to him, but he punched me in the face. I did not understand why he hit me. He called me "an impertinent boy." Without giving me a chance to ask him why, he just walked away. My mother told me that he was upset not because of the soccer ball but because of the way I talked to him. In Korea, you need to speak formally to older people. I was supposed to say "I am very sorry, sir" to the guy, not "sorry, man." This kind of language barrier prevented me from making friends, and made me a shy person.

When I turned 11, I met a teacher who changed my life in Korea. Mr. Hwang helped me overcome the cultural confusions by giving me chances to meet as many people as possible. He put me in the school soccer team. At first, I was too shy that I did not even say a word. After doing many exercises and having matches against other schools together, however, the wall between me and the other kids collapsed. After one year, I found myself speaking in front of the team members as a captain. Mr. Hwang picked me as a new captain because he saw potential in me; he said he was impressed when I took care of Sae-Hwan Song who broke his leg during a match. In the same year, I joined the Korean Boy Scouts. Astonishingly, I did not find it difficult to talk to people anymore. After 5 months, I became a leader of the Boy Scout troop. My heart was filled with exhilaration because I finally could feel what it was like to have friends. I finally had someone to talk to other than my family members. However, when my mother decided to move back to the United States, everything that I endeavored to accomplish was fragmented: friendships, confidence, and academic success.

When I arrived at JFK airport at age of 14, the same feelings that I had when I was 10 years old pierced my heart: anger, fear, sadness, and emptiness. Once again, I had to deal with the language barriers and cultural confusions. After 5 months or so, I barely graduated from the middle school; I could not communicate with anyone because of my strong accent. During my summer vacation, I focused on learning English to get prepared for high school. I spent at least five hours a day on reading English books and memorizing words that I found from the books. To ameliorate my listening skills, I watched "Spongebob SquarePants" every single day before going to bed. With such a great effort, I could make the high honor roll in the first marking period of freshman year without difficulties. Despite my academic success, I still felt empty somewhere in my heart because I had no friends. To feel the exhilaration that I felt in Korea and get confidence in myself again, I decided to join some clubs. From the Cultural Diversity Club, I met so many people whose backgrounds were similar to mine. Some of them were still learning English and facing the setbacks caused by the cultural confusions and language barriers.

Undergraduate / NYU Personal Statements (6 questions and answers) [2]

1) Describe a trait or characteristic that has been passed along to you by your family. Tell us why you like or dislike this aspect of yourself. (500 or less characters)

I am a striver and so is my mother. If there is something that I want to attain, then I must get it. I do whatever it takes to achieve it. My counselor always has told me that I am the hardest worker that she has ever seen in her life. When I was a junior, to make the highest honor roll, I spent at least 4 hours a day at home on school work. As might be expected, I made it for both first and second semesters. I like to be a hard worker because I usually do not fail to accomplish my goals.

2) You have been selected to sing in a talent show. What song would you choose? Why?

I would sing G.O.D.'s "To my mother". It is a Korean song that has inspired so many Asian singers to come to Korea. This song is about a mother who dedicates her life to her son. Her son regrets that he has lived his life so wastefully, and he finally realizes the importance of his mother when she dies. By singing this song, I would not only be able to show Korean cultures, but also remind people of the sacrifices that their mothers made for them.

3) Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

My passion to be a doctor has developed since my dog died of kidney failure. At first, I wanted to be a veterinarian to find the cure for kidney failure for dogs, but my allergic reactions to animals stopped me from expanding my dream. Instead, I decided to dedicate my life to human patients. From losing my own dog, I learned that losing loved ones is the most difficult experience for everyone. The intense feelings that only doctors get when they save lives always have interested me most.

4) New York City is an essential element of academic and cultural life at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

Having experienced poverty myself, I would like to organize a community service club. Because I know how it feels to be poor and isolated by the society, I love to work with other people for homeless children and other needy people. Also, by opening some public events such as a marathon, the club would encourage more people to volunteer. This would surely diminish the rate of poverty in the United States. Additionally, this would give people of NYU insights into the disadvantaged people's lives.

5) In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

Volunteering at the animal hospital for one year helped me learn about the real world. I went to the All Pets once a week for an eight hour shift. The usual tasks that I had to do were cleaning the shelters, walking all the dogs, preparing tools for surgeries, organizing charts, delivering messages from the veterinary technicians to the veterinarian, and so on. Before working at the hospital, I did not know what I really wanted to do in the future. However, I realized that saving lives would be my job when I saw tears coming out of a client's eyes. The client's dog suffered from kidney failure, and unfortunately, it died. I felt strong emotions that aroused a passion in my heart to be a doctor. Therefore, working at the hospital helped me realize the importance of my loved ones, and my dream.

6)In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

I volunteered at an animal hospital for 76 hours in summer of 2007. I learned many basic surgical processes from helping the veterinarian get prepared for surgeries; I prepared surgical tools for him. In summers of 2007 and 2008, I went to the Stevens Institute of Technology to compete with other students in building robots. Lastly, I did fundraising with my church youth group. We did concerts for many churches before their worship services. We did many other things such as bake sale as well.

Research Papers / Budget - Problem and solution research paper [8]

I have to write a paper about issues in NJ, and proposals and solutions to it, using the book "The World is Flat". I decided to work on the school budget issue.. but I dont know what to do with this topic. Can you please help me think of good "global" and "economic" solutions to this issue? I also need to know about the root cause of this. If you have any other NJ issue that can be considered in a specific area, please suggest it to me..

Essays / Essay about individuals' identities and definition of "foreign" [2]

Hello, I am a high school student enrolled in AP English class..
I have to write an essay about two stories about immigrants..

The prompt is : Does an individual's own identity affect the way he determines who or what is "foreign"?

I do not even understand the question -_-...
It is my job to figure out how to synthesize the two stories to write an essay to answer to the prompt.. However, I need some help with brainstorming some ideas that I need to look for in the stories.. One story is about an immigrant who works to get money in the US, and the other one is about an immigrant (born in US) who goes back to his motherland, where he has never been to before. I need at least 3 ideas to write 3 body paragraphs.. I will still appreciate it if you give me only one.

Thank you!!!

Essays / Pride in one's own heritage, and prejudice against others. [3]

Hello!
First off, I'd like to appreciate your help that you have given to me so far!

"What is the difference between pride in one's own cultural heritage, and prejudice against others?" Is it ever possible to reconcile the two? If so, how? If not, why not?"

Can you please give me some ideas that I can use to develop my essay? I cannot brainstorm anything... Thank you so much in advance..!