Undergraduate / Last Minute ESSAYS (incorporate chores with a pleasurable hobby) [5]

Hi Guys, Will anyone help me with final grammar check before final submission :(

Thanks!

Yale U:
You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of your second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words. WC=439

Many people do not incorporate their chores with a pleasurable hobby. But when it comes to car restoration for the men in my family, it is a painstakingly long process where the ends justify means. My father is a collector of sports cars, but not just any cars. His fascination resides with the Italian and British automobiles, pre-1970. Of the cars that he collects, his favorite has always been the Alfa Romeo. With over thirty of these pristine examples stored in our warehouse, almost all of them are our personal undertakings as well as an investment for future speculation. A mix of nostalgia with the soulful Italian passion in its handling finesse and its beautiful appearance makes owning one of these automobiles a sheer delight unlike any other.

The process begins with a search for a likely candidate on Ebay. Usually found scrapped or neglected, I'm in charge of bidding for these high mileage veterans, calling and arranging a price with the prospective seller. Once an Alfa is bought and delivered, we prepare it for restoration. Much like coal, a car can arrive desecrated and mangled, but can potentially be transformed into a diamond with time. Our goal is originality in that every car we restore is in the same condition as if it were fresh out of the factory from the assembly line. While my father and my brother handle the more mechanical aspects of restoration, I perform the logistics of the operation, seeing to it that each piece of art goes to the right shop at the right time such as painting the vehicle before the fitting the upholstery. Original parts are hard to come by, thus I'd find myself with my father digging for usable components in junkyards. With a little polish and elbow grease, its funny how treasures can lie in place where one would least expect. The physical assembly and fine-tuning are backbreaking to say the least. For those who say patience is a virtue, they don't realize how easily it can be understated. Like any other artist with his or her masterpiece, car restoration requires the work of a perfectionist. When an Alfa is completed, the enjoyment of starting its engine sends shivers down my spine. The satisfaction upon completion fills my heart with pride by allowing me to say that I put an extensive amount of effort in its craftsmanship.

Restoring these automobiles has given me an attribute of diligence. It has taught me that no matter how hard or how long it takes to complete something, that I should strive for it and make it the best that it can be.

Undergraduate / Cornell Supp. School of arts & sciences (evolving into a businessman) [2]

Would anyone help me check for any grammar mistakes as well as shortening? Suggestions and advice are welcome
College of Arts and Sciences:

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. Rd2

Living in a family bound to an entrepreneurial company, I've always seen myself as evolving into a businessman. Because modern society is sculpted, in part, by business decisions, I feel drawn to explore gain a fuller understanding of their value in my life. My career aspirations started in elementary school where I sold vibrantly wrapped Japanese candy, to my classmates for enormous profits. Though I was disciplined by the principal and forced to retire the venture, without contempt, I continued to pursue my goals outside of school. Started by my father and mother, I've watched Waterfront Container Leasing Co., Inc. grow from a five thousand dollar loan to a multi-million dollar establishment that leases and sells marine cargo equipment to ocean carriers worldwide. During it's ascension, I accompanied my parents on countless trips and to meetings in over thirty countries on six continents, allowing me to observe the quintessential business ethics the occur between buyer and seller. Not only did I begin to shape the prospects of my career, but also was able to immerse myself in a multicultural experience that made me realize the importance of globalization and its correlation with the subsequent world of business.

In my recent summers, I spent weeks interning at Waterfront Co., Inc., where I learned everything from data entry to filing reports on inventory of containers and parts through an auditing process. Though my role in Waterfront was comparably tiny to the rest of the workforce, I was able to observe and learn how a business operates in sales, accounting, operations, and logistics departments. In the course of my training, I had the opportunity to sit in on a number of Board meeting where directors discussed the company's current dilemmas, strategies and progress of expansion.. These experiences were invigorating.

Last July, I attended the Talented Youth Program hosted at the Hong Kong University of Science & Technology. The program was taught by professors from the top business universities in Asia. Employing the Socratic method, the teachers helped me to think critically when it came to contemporary issues, the analysis of introductory game theory, as well as technology in deference to human nature without the boundaries of right and wrong. Using these acquired skills, I hope to continue my passion for this field of study and utilize the diversified networks of Cornell to excel in my career.

Upon opening the Cornell prospectus, I immediately recognize the four main reasons that make Cornell the place I absolutely want to be at. With over a hundred courses taught at the Department of Economics alone, Cornell is a Mecca for intellectuals that pride themselves on their business acumen. Studying with distinguished faculty including Professor Kaushik Basu, who was awarded India's highest civil honor for his work is an honor on its own. Opportunities are limitless at Cornell as I hope to take advantage of its many programs offering internships, co-ops, and studying abroad. The natural beauty of the campus and seasonal changes also appeals to this California boy. Stressing globalization in my career, a Cornell alumnus raved over the overarching diversity of the student body and that no matter where you come from, Cornell welcomes everyone. By tying in my prior experiences with the exceptional fit of the Cornell interdisciplinary schema, my ambition is to take full advantage of the university by delving deeper, grasping more, and experience widely while being able to call Cornell University my home. 571/500

Undergraduate / Why the exceptional GWU? Grammar fix, Suggestions happily welcome! [3]

Please offer your take on my essay, I know there might be a few grammar mistakes in there that i cant find. Suggestions are extremely helpful! Thank You!

What influenced your decision apply?

Why in the world would any sane individual want to go to a school that is "in the center of the most powerful city in the world?" Forget the endless opportunities available for internship and work. Forget receiving a first hand taste of politics and business cohabitating. And who ever heard of a school putting a "the" before its name? Where does GWU get off being such a unique place? I believe that many other schools offer great academic programs, but none of them can deliver what GWU has in store for its students.

As I began to form a list of suitable schools, I further researched GWU only to discover that GWU provided not only what I needed for the next four years of my life, but also what I absolutely want in an outstanding university. GWU's many exceptional facets have been the main influence for me to apply. At The George Washington School of Business, demanding business courses allow the study in the liberal arts and would initiate my entrepreneurial juices to flow. Unlike most other universities, GWU caters to many business interests so that one may explore his or her specific career path. Because modern society is sculpted, in part, by business decisions, I feel drawn to explore its value in my life. Because I enjoy the various aspects of the business world, GWU would allow me to explore various possibilities to find my professional niche. Stressing globalization in deference to the world of business, the GWU's Study Abroad Program encourages me to fulfill my desire to study international business in London or Madrid. The opportunities to really understand the financial markets from a global perspective are fantastic.

And just as studying is part of college life, so is the development of interpersonal skills. As an avid fan of spectator sports, I have seen the Colonials intoxicatingly crush teams all the way to NCAA tournaments. By not setting specific geographic boundaries for its campus, GWU is able to utilize the entirety of DC as an educational experience with the excitement of having world leaders within fingertips. The internship programs offered are remarkable in that many Fortune 500 firms offer GWU students opportunities to explore their passions inside and outside the classroom. As the cultural center of United States, Washington and GWU provide a frame of reference for understanding how American values have evolved and continue to change today. It all becomes a complete package that would not only enable me to learn while enjoying myself, but also provide me with great memories that I could remember and cherish for the rest of my life.

GWU is my ideal school, offering me the opportunity to delve deeper, grasp more, and experience widely in my field of interest. It would be an honor to become a part of what so many GWU students before me have come enjoy and call their home.