Writing Feedback / IELTS - GUN CONTROL & INCREASING VIOLENCE [8]

Topic 1: Some people believe that if a police force carries guns, this encourages higher level of violence in that society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people may argue that allowing policemen to carries firearms can increase violence in the society. To some extent, I do not agree with this assertion because I believe that criminal minds that breed violence not stringent gun control.

First of all, it seems to be true that if there is gun control somehow crime has to decrease because fewer guns available mean less crime. However, this is not as simple as it sounds.

In fact, stringent gun control does not decrease violence and crime because most gun violence is committed with guns obtained illegally. People who are intent to commit crime and control cities through gang violence and other means will find a way to continue to use guns, regardless of gun control.

Moreover, there will be law non-abiding people anywhere in the world, either polices or common citizens. As a result, the root of violence is criminal mind not the weapon itself. Therefore, if a government wants to control crime in a community, it is important to manage their people's actions rather than gun used in violent crimes.

All in all, it is obvious that there is a poor relationship between polices carrying guns and an increasing violence rate. On the other hand, criminal mind seems to be more related to violence. Consequently, we should pay more attention to adjust people's behaviors in order to reduce crimes instead of gun control

Writing Feedback / Adolescents are being influenced badly by untalented people who become famous [2]

Some people argue that adolescents are being influenced badly by untalented people who become famous thanks to their luxurious lifestyle and wealth. To some extent, I do not agree with this statement.

First of all, it is true that people use their money to become an inspiration are definitely not a good mirror for young people. We definitely do not want our children to spend money on luxurious custom or lifestyle just to be similar to someone, especially when these people are not symbols of any talent but showing off. However, the young generation these days is very conscious toward positive lifestyles. They are mostly being educated at very early ages by family or schools as to distinguish what is benefit for them. Therefore, it is not easy to influence young people these days when they are well equipped of life skills.

Moreover, it seems to me that not many people can exist in the celebrities' world without any talents or achievements. We are giving chances to many teenagers to show their intelligence in different talent shows, for example; The Voice, X Factor or Next Top Models etc. As a result, to become a star and an inspiration for people, a person need to have real talent to compete with other candidates. Thus, only money and glamour look are not enough for a person to be recognized anymore, it is importance that they have to have achievements in order to be a muse to youngsters.

In conclusion, people without talents cannot be famous in this changing world and to be accredited they need to contribute positively to young generation. That is the reason why celebrities nowadays give more good influence on young people than they were previously.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Celebrities & Their Influences [2]

Topic: Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example for young people.
To what extent to you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people argue that adolescents are being influenced badly by untalented people who become famous thanks to their luxurious lifestyle and wealth. To some extent, I do not agree with this statement.

First of all, it is true that people use their money to become an inspiration are definitely not a good mirror for young people. We definitely do not want our children to spend money on luxurious custom or lifestyle just to be similar to someone, especially when these people are not symbols of any talent but showing off. However, the young generation these days is very conscious toward positive lifestyles. They are mostly being educated at very early ages by family or schools as to distinguish what is benefit for them. Therefore, it is not easy to influence young people these days when they are well equipped of life skills.

Moreover, it seems to me that not many people can exist in the celebrities' world without any talents or achievements. We are giving chances to many teenagers to show their intelligence in different talent shows, for example; The Voice, X Factor or Next Top Models etc. As a result, to become a star and an inspiration for people, a person need to have real talent to compete with other candidates. Thus, only money and glamour look are not enough for a person to be recognized anymore, it is importance that they have to have achievements in order to be a muse to youngsters.

In conclusion, people without talents cannot be famous in this changing world and to be accredited they need to contribute positively to young generation. That is the reason why celebrities nowadays give more good influence on young people than they were previously.