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Posts by mariamalmasri
Joined: Sep 4, 2012
Last Post: Sep 10, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 8  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 9
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mariamalmasri   
Sep 4, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I wanted to go BIG' - UT admission essay [11]

prompt:"The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey".

NOT SURE IF I CHOSE THE RIGHT DIRECTION HERE PLZ HELP CRITIQUE ALL COMMENTS WELCOMED!!

Throughout my life growing up I have always been a goal-oriented person, one who strives for the best through determination, hard work, and perseverance overcoming any obstacles that may come my way in succeeding. Setting goals have been the means of achieving things in life whether big or small, they have all counted towards where I stand today and where I want to be. As a college student when I have a goal I began to set standards not just in reaching that goal but as to how far and how hard I am willing to work and put in the effort in earning the greatest possible outcome of that goal. Being a college sophomore today in my final semester, it has been a goal of mine since day one here at Houston Community College where I currently reside to completing my basics successfully and moving on with transfers to the University of Texas. My goal and only job has ever been to become a successful Judge since the age of 4, only better understanding and growing fonder of the field of studies as I have aged discovering that I wanted to go BIG, looking into Judicial criminal law. Not only do I want to become a Judge but actually become a strong woman involved into the political and criminal scope of law enforcement. It is very important to me as well as a dream of mine to becoming the best in a career I pursue not only for myself but people and my career, striving for the best education I know I can receive and really taking advantage of it as much as possible. One who is able to learn so much through great heights and actually being able to process information through the real world, preparing me to become one of the best Judges out there! I believe what makes one the best at what they do is one who tries their best in succeeding through hard work and studying their career to the fullest front and back, inside and out, bringing these sources of knowledge into action for the real world. I believe that through my honest and certain determination in my passion for this career field, I have always and will continue to have what it takes to applying hard work and perseverance in achieving my goals here at the University of Texas where I feel can offer me the best, helping me begin this new chapter in my life of achieving the best in the career of my dreams. Exceling to the even better things in life to come and my future through UT is how I believe I can become a sensation.
mariamalmasri   
Sep 5, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I wanted to go BIG' - UT admission essay [11]

you are AMAZING and you have really helped me i will better this essay and make the changes thankyou SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME AND HELP!!!:) MUCH APPRECIATED!
mariamalmasri   
Sep 5, 2012
Graduate / My motivation letter for Master of Economics scholarship [4]

I THINK THIS IS A WELL PUT ESSAY MAKES ALOT OF SENSE AND FLOWS IN ORDER PERFECTLY!!!GREAT DIRECTION.
CORRECTION: "The University of Queensland's School of Economics because of your outstanding research programs,"...try not to say your and use their because your talking about the school not necessarily to the school on your behalf like your proving a point on why you want to go there but what IT has to offer so try to stay away from using YOUR its too direct.
mariamalmasri   
Sep 7, 2012
Undergraduate / Personal Essay: VISIT FROM MADAMOISELLE ALOPECIA [3]

my head could not have being a hairstyle....i think you mean or should put been a hairstyle instead of being it makes more sense

also this is a really good personal essay it relates to the topic very well..i liked it and think it has potential, love the way you make the story interesting with quotes and funny sarcasm examples etc good job!
mariamalmasri   
Sep 7, 2012
Undergraduate / Someone who influenced me University of Texas @ Austin; The art of communication [4]

great essay it makes alot of sense and the background info seems abt right i have a bestfriend from india and understand where your coming from but from someone who wont know this is very explanatory and makes them feel to understand great essay!! your on track!

plz read mine its for UT AS WELL!
mariamalmasri   
Sep 8, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I was dumped with suggestions and views' - significant challenge questions [3]

fix your spelling in sentences for example "Was that the thing I was made for?"...to is this the thing i was made for?

also "continued for my major one and half -year"...to( continued majorly of about an year and a half). and so on there are more in there sentences that you can transition in ways like ive just shown you above so check them out

plz read my second essay thankyou!
mariamalmasri   
Sep 10, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I wanted to go BIG' - UT admission essay [11]

its suppose to be no longer than one page and ive made it completely better btw guys and thanks for all the advise!!!
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