Undergraduate / 'the midst of Track season' - Apply Texas Essay A - an impact on your life critique [NEW]

I wrote this essay yesterday and I'm not sure if it's a good essay or idea to go on at least.
Any tips/critiques would be appreciated!

Here is the essay:

As an only child, I've never known what it's like to go to a big brother or sister and ask for advice or learn from their actions. My uncle, Christian, who's nine years older than I am, is the closest in age to me in my family and has embraced being the "older brother" figure throughout the course of my life. Although there is such a large age difference, he and I have more in common than you might think, so for as long as I can remember, he's been the one to guide me through any obstacles that I have come across in life.

Eight months into the course of my freshman year of high school and in the midst of Track season, I was told that I was moving from Dana Point, California, a beachfront city that I had fallen in love with, back to San Antonio, Texas, my hometown and the city that I'd grown to despise. My then fifteen-year-old brain couldn't fathom why this was happening and the mix of emotions I felt on the matter was heartbreaking. I was devastated, angry, and willing to do whatever it took to stay in California. Needless to say, for the remaining two months of school, I slumped around like a heavy sack of potatoes, displaying how unhappy I was to the world. However, my uncle was the one to knock some sense into me and lend me his shoulder to cry on when I thought my world was ending. When no one else was able to dispatch the memo that this, in fact, was not the worst thing in the world, he was able to reassure me that I would make new friends and excel even in new surroundings when the time came. He was there when I needed him the most and he's the reason why I made the remaining time I had in California count. With this experience, he taught me that things in life happen and even though you may not be able to control it, you should make the best of it. So, from then on, with his support, I did the best I could to make every little instance count. From a beachside dinner with my mother to an all day backpacking adventure through Dana Point with my best friends, no amount of time I had left there went to waste.

When those two short months passed and the warm summer breeze engulfed the little city I called home for five years, it was time to start packing. Holding back tears as I packed my life away was almost as hard as initially hearing the news. Again, my uncle was there to lean on when I couldn't bear to put another one of my belongings in a box. He was the one to take me to the beach to get my mind away from all the stress I was feeling and finally appreciate the beauty that I was leaving. When the day finally came to leave Dana Point, it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be because he'd kept me strong the whole way through. As the move became a longer and more stressful process, my uncle kept me laughing throughout the one thousand three hundred mile journey back to Texas. When I arrived in San Antonio, not only was I overwhelmed with an immense feeling of humidity, but of joy to see my family waiting for me with nothing but smiles.

What I thought was a major roadblock was actually a blessing in disguise and now, at eighteen, I see in my day-to-day life that his assurance helped me change me for the better. I'm able to embrace change because he taught me that sometimes the very last thing that you want to happen happens but you have to accept it and move on. He changed the way I perceive life and to this day, he still teaches me lessons when I face a challenge. My uncle is not an uncle to me, but he's my big brother. He has always been the one to protect me and guide me when no one else could get through to me. Even now, he's the one who takes me back to California to visit the city I miss everyday.

Undergraduate / 'the stigma of being gay' - B for UT is a little TOO personal? [11]

The topic is choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

I chose the issue of homophobia and intolerance/acceptance of it. This is a very personal experience and I'm not sure if I should use it.. Any help?

America is suppose to be the land of the free and the home of the brave...
Only for those who are straight, that is. Homophobia is a large issue in our country today, with more than one third of all lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered high school students attempting suicide. That is one third too many, yet very little is being done about the issue of acceptance, or tolerance, at the very least, in the United States. Not only is this a personal issue for myself, but it's also an issue that has major relevance all around our country.

During my sophomore year in high school, at the ripe age of sixteen I experienced first hand what this intolerance feels like and believe me, it isn't pleasant. Dating someone who is the daughter of Christian pastors may not have been the brightest idea on my part, but I pushed back the words of my conscience telling me to be smart and went with my heart. It didn't take long to feel the wrath of two people who desperately wanted me to stay away from their daughter, but I thought I was "in love" and I was practically blindfolded to the reality of what was happening. I was completely unaware of the emotional repercussions that homophobia would have on me, but I found out soon enough. Numerous calls, voicemails, and text messages were left on my phone advising me, not only to stay away from their daughter or authority figures would be involved, but that I was going to hell.

For over a year, I hid who I was from my family and friends. I put up with this bullying from two "people of God" all alone. The hate that I felt outweighed anything else that was going on in my life, yet I still kept it to myself for fear of being judged. The feelings I was bottling up hurt almost as bad as the words that were being said to me. I shed more tears than a sixteen-year-old girl should have and I had horrible thoughts about life that should never have crossed my mind in the first place. My friends slowly started to trickle away, my grades plummeted downhill fast, and my beloved sport of Cross Country wasn't as enjoyable as it once had been. The toll these words had on me were unlike anything else that I had ever experienced, but I was stuck in quick sand, and with every move I made I sank deeper and deeper into something I found that I didn't really want to be involved in. It took me getting to my lowest point emotionally before I finally was able to pick myself up and walk away, but not before all that had happened did its damage. I'm in a better place now, but many people that are part of the LGBT community are still suffering in silence.

Although our country is making progress with this issue, there is still a lot of prejudice surrounding the stigma of being gay, but this is the 21st century, where discrimination should be at a minimum. This is the second highest reason children give for bullying, so our battle with this prejudice is far from over. This is an issue that I have experienced first hand, so for me, it is an extremely important issue to take a stand against not just in my local community, but nationwide. In this day and age, no child should live in fear of being bullied, whether it is from another child or an intolerant adult, because of who they are. The land of the free shouldn't have a disclaimer that says "for straight people only;" all American citizens should have the freedom to be themselves.

Undergraduate / 'growing up in a single parent household' - Critique UT Essay C [4]

The topic is as follows: There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.

My essay -

"Exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities" make me think of about a million things that have happened throughout my short eighteen years of life. However, I think the biggest challenge I have had to face is growing up in a single parent household. I never thought much of living in a single parent home; it was a norm to me, even though I always knew that a father figure was missing. Although, most of my friends had both parents at home, living in San Antonio, Texas with close to five hundred thousand households that have only one parent present, single parent households are not far fetched.

This has always been a motivating factor for me in more ways than one. However, I think the most important is that I knew at an early age that I wanted to be successful because I have seen my mother struggle to make ends meet for all of my life. I was rarely able to go the movies with friends; I did not get new clothes every year; I never received the toys I asked for. My mother has had to stretch a very small income across the rent, the bills, her needs, and mine. For as long as I can remember, I have worried about whether or not her income was going to stretch too far one month, and because of this, I got a job at the age of sixteen. Although balancing work and school has been difficult, I manage to make it work because I know that it takes a lot of stress off my mother. Through this, not only have I learned the value of a dollar, but also I've learned that an impeccable work ethic is going to get me far in life. I devote as much time as I can to my studies, while still balancing Cross Country and Track, and doing my best to be a picture perfect employee.

Although growing up in a single parent household has been challenging for the majority of my life, my mother's unfortunate circumstances are not an excuse for me. I don't believe in saying "I can't" simply because I don't always have the means that I need. Getting a job was a way for me to provide for myself during my high school career, a way of going after what I ultimately want in life - success. I don't see my upbringing in a single parent household has as an "exceptional hardship" or a "challenge" but instead it has been an opportunity that has shaped my work ethic within in school, within my job, and even within running. I strive for the best possible race time, best grades, and the best customer service. What others may see as a setback, I see as a blessing that has bettered me as a person, student, and employee. My single parent has taught me what the definition of work ethic is - Hard work that is worthy of a reward. In my case, that reward will eventually be success.

504 words.

Can this be a good little supplement/optional essay to submit?