Writing Feedback / We need more efficiency and security so the machine work is better [5]

Thank you for your coming. There may be some mistakes or blurry expression in my esseay that I haven't notice yet. Could you help me point them out? Well, if your are available and help me revise them, I may really, really, really appreciate it.^-^

Which is better, doing work by machine or doing work by hand?

In modern industrial societies, people can always find many ways to finish same work, like using machines or doing by hand, etc, but bring people different results.For those living in a big modern city, doing work by machine is better than by hand because of the efficiency and security that the modern machines bring to people.

Yes, machines could extend the boundaries of human capabilities and do promote our efficiency. The most well-known evidence is that the great development of astronomy technology occurred in the world with machines. For example, computer, the most brilliant brain-like machine, help scientists to deal with much huge work efficiently, such as processing data, modeling and analyzing unknown models. If they are doing it only by hand, it may be a pretty heavy workload. Had we invented computer, we could had not get such precise trajectory data from the earth to the moon,let alone sent human to the moon. With computer's help, it is efficient to get the exact processed data and research virtual modelling and stimulation technology. What's more, some of machines, such as those which could make it more easy to build a giant rocket than by little man's/woman's hand.

Furthermore, machine can help humans out of repeated work with even more accuracy and security. People don't like repeat, boring work for a lone time and might make some mistakes. It's human nature. For instance, in the past, a conventional train needed two or more drivers who have to carefully drive from one station to another station. That made them feel a little more boring but really exhausted. However,today it is another matter. we have intellectual machines equipmented with automatic control system. Not only could those machines give the freedom for drivers but also give more security from one's careless mistakes.

However, something cannot be handled good enough by machines, especially basic math practice for children. Take myself for example. when my primary teacher taught me math about basic addtion and subtraction, she didn't want to find that I worked out the results just by calculator, a lovely machine I was used to think. For a little lazy girl, It could set me free from boring calculating. But both my math teacher and my parents believe that it's good to practice my left brain by hand calculating. Finally, it works well and I need to thank myself that I did it by hand since I grasped the basic math common skills and more, using my brain and not being lazy.

All in all, I confirm that using machine to finish work could be better than just using hand when we need more efficiency and security,except necessary basic brain practice time without lazy.

Writing Feedback / Colleges should offer more career-based courses for students future [8]

Thank you for your coming. There may be some mistakes or blurry expression in my esseay that I haven't notice yet. Could you help me point them out? Well, if your are available and help me revise them, I may really, really, really appreciate it.^-^

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
College or university should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

Currently, many college graduates are unemployed. Quite a few of them contend that there are few jobs comparable to their education, because their universities neglect to develop their employability skills and hand-on experience. In this respect, I definitely agree that university should offer its students more career-based courses they will need for specific career and jobs before they start working.

First of all, university and college are responsible for setting up career-related courses for its students. For most outstanding students, who exactly know what vocation is appropriate for them, good specific career preparation is their main purpose to attend desirable universities. What if universities ignore the voice of those students, they will lose those outstanding students. Considering those students' purposes, university and college should do something to meet their needs, give the best start to their future career. In this case, setting up career courses is indispensable as an advisable initiative.

Furthermore, students would benefit from those courses which show effectiveness. A range of successful career-related courses not only promote student's valuable employability skills but also enrich their hand-on experience. Here is a good example set in Coventry University where 94% graduates go on to employment. In this university some courses help equip student with valuable employability skills. For instance, the student can take a course in leadership, right through to learning new language or how to use digital tools, such as Adobe Photoshop. Besides, there are some other courses which involve internships in real workspace. Therefore, when Coventry University's graduates finish their schooling, they will be armed with specific employability skills and real-work experience; the probability that they will be qualified job applicants is improved. This example leads me to believe that career courses are indispensable for students. University and college need to consider setting up career-related courses.

In conclusion, I really believe that university and college should offer more career courses. By doing so, university and college live up to many students' expectations; students can improve employability skills and gain hand-on experience while simultaneously making students more employable. This is why I support setting up more career courses.

Writing Feedback / Job or social life? Which can effect more on one's happiness? (TOEFL) [3]

Obviously, different people need different paths to achieve happiness. Since people hold different view about how to define happiness. For my part, I believe the theory of happiness definition: You can achieve more happiness when you are doing what you value more. Therefore, I think that if you ask someone the question "Which can bring you more happiness between your job and social life?" the answer depends on what s/he value more.

For some people, they think much of social life. Therefore, colorful social life would like to bring them more happiness then their job. They just consider their job as a mean of ensuring finance security, which is required to support them in order to enjoy colorful social life. For them, happiness means: Not only could they develop their interests, like fishing, skiing, hiking, and traveling, but also they can spend more time with their dear family, or humors friends. My father lives life in this way. He values his social life more than his job. If he is available, he prefer to organize weekend-trip with family rather than take work home, go fishing at Hong Yan Lake alone rather than continue working, and drink in a bar with best friends rather than focus on work. When my father enjoys his rich social life, he always wears shinning smile instead of frown as he working at office. " I prize my social life then my job" he said, "because it help me release my job stress and make me relax , more importantly, it enables me to accompany with my family and friends." Well, "work to live, not live to work", this is my father's belief. For my father, more happiness is concealed in rich color social life then his job.

For another people, they value more job than social life than social life, so the source of happiness primarily stem from career they really love. For example, my friend, Jason, is a rock music composer. When he was in high school, he had told me that he was crazy about rock music, especially new metal rock, and would view it as life time career. Now, he is engaged in rock music job as a composer and devotes much of his energy, time, and attention to this job. Hence, his social life is relatively limited. Every night he has to have a rock band show with best friends in different bars. "My social life is limited, but it also can bring me happiness; because I am doing my idea job, have chance to play my new composed songs in these bars and feel terrific", he said, "If one day I cannot continue my job, cannot compose rock songs, cannot show those songs, I may lose my main source of happiness."

In closing, these two types of people hold different views about what they value more. Thus, those different views lead to different paths to perceive happiness. Job or social life, which has more effect on one's happiness? I believe the answer really depends on what people prize more. After all, everyone has his own taste.