Undergraduate / "I am an Albanian" ; Stanford: Writing a note to future roommate! [8]

First of all, I want to tell you that we are going to have great fun; we got into Stanford. YAY!

Maybe say "I would first like to congratulate you with your acceptance to Stanford! We are going to have a great year together."

Undergraduate / "I am an Albanian" ; Stanford: Writing a note to future roommate! [8]

rroni12345
I think you need to go in depth with your interests a bit more because you just listed them and talked about a few of them! And with the deep meaning, if you go in depth a little more I think you should be fine

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Undergraduate / Hi I am from Bangladesh.. Williams Supplement essay [5]

I definitely agree on toning down on your own country! Bashing on where you come from isn't a good thing, but I think if you rewrote it in a more subtle tone then it would be better.

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Writing Feedback / Social life rather than job can offer me the true happiness [10]

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Both my job and social life are significant parts of my life; my job provides me with the economic foundation and my social life canenriches my physical and spiritual life. But considering that during my social life I can stay with people who are important to me, and expand my living circle, I disagree with the statement, and I think social life can bring me more happiness. (this sentence is long and kind of runs on, you should try to divide it up)

To start with, in my social life,By having a social life , I am able to spend time accompanyingquality with my families and friends. As the saying goes: "family is the harbour of your soul, and friends are the arms of your career," when I am staying with my family, I could feel a sense of belonging, I feel safe and warm at that time, while this feeling will never exist in working. In addition, I like go outenjoy going with my friends, maybe to chat with my friends about interesting affairs, or just hang around in the shopping mall without buying anything.Whether I am chatting about them with interesting affairs, or simply hanging around the mall without having the need to purchase anything. Especially on Friday night, I feel that I am just like a bird rushing out of the birdcage and flying in the sky, I could feel a sense of freedom, and relax. While on the Monday morning, I would say the same thing like Garfield: "I hate Monday."

In addition, having a social life makes my world colorful. When I am on vacation, I can travel around the world andto appreciate the beautiful scenery and taste the delicious local food,W hen I am onit is the weekends , I can go to the KTV to sing my favourite songs with my friends,W hen I am off the work, I can take thea dance class or just walk through the park to air myself. Definitely, there are only small parts of my social lifeAlthough these are only a few benefits of having a social life , but when it is time to work, all I can do is work, and work again.

Aren't there any benefit or happiness of working? Of course the answer is yes, that after overcome some difficulties, I realize my personal value and feel good and proud of myself, A lso, when I getreceive my promotion, I would be so happy and cheershave the opportunity to celebrate with my family. However, most of the time the job is just a tool of me to pursue a satisfying and abundant social life.

In sum,A lthough my job enables me to realize my personal value and provide me economic foundation, in view of the time that I spend with the ones important to me, and every moment that I enjoy myself, I find that social life rather than job can offer me the true happiness.

Writing Feedback / Which should your school choose to buy -computer or books; 'advanced science' [4]

Your answer to the question is well written, but I would fix the awkward spaces between every comma. It's unnecessary to have a space between any punctuation

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