Undergraduate / NURSING VOLUNTEER; COMMON APP extra curricular activites [7]

So I need to write a essay on volunteering at the hospital and basically why it made me want to become a nurse. It is for the Common App applying to private universities for their nursing program. I just want opinions on how my essay sounds:

The dreary hospital walls, the pungent smell of hospital food, the lingering diseases from hall to hall are not the ideal place for any young adult. However, this is where I will be found every Wednesday afternoon, thoroughly enjoying my time spent with the patients being held victims by their doctors and nurses. No one enjoys being a patient in the hospital, however, with the help of great volunteers and staff it is possible to bring happiness to these sick patients who would rather be elsewhere. Volunteering in different units of the hospital has shown me the many different aspects of working in the medical field. I have met a variety of patients, each with their own purpose and life story. This has been the most rewarding experience because I was able to connect with and comfort these indisposed individuals. While working on the central floor, I was able to help the nurses with the terminally ill, bedridden, or handicap patients. Even though these patients were predominantly elderly, I had the most memorable and interesting conversations with them. Hearing their life stories, I was able to take their mind off of their misfortunes and help them reminisce of their youth and most unforgettable memories. Being able to help these individuals and seeing the positive difference I was making in their life, assured me that nursing was the best career path for me. As I observed the nurses interact with their patients, I admired them for their hard work and true compassion that they showed to every patient. Nursing is not an easy task, and one must be very strong willed in order to deal with the burden of death and disease. However not all units of the hospital have such burdens, as I moved to the Labor and Delivery unit I observed the positive aspects of the medical world. The nurses in this unit continued to care for their patients with the same kindness and compassion as the other floors; however these patients were not dealing with a life threatening disease but were excited for bringing a new life into the world. Instead of reminiscing on past memories, these patients were boasting about their new future and what was in store for them. Even though they were excited, these new moms still had to endure the pain and complications of labor. As a volunteer, one of my duties is to comfort these new moms and help them walk off their early contractions. Once again I was able to make a positive difference in these new moms' lives by talking with them in order to distract them from the pain they were enduring. The nurses in this unit not only have to care for the new moms, but also the newborn babies as well. Being able to experience a newborns first cry into the world is one of the greatest pleasures of volunteering in this department. I admire the nurses in this unit because they not only have their duties as a caring nurse, but must also be prepared to step in when the doctor does not arrive on time to deliver the baby. Nurses throughout the entire hospital have a very challenging job to care for every individual with the same compassion and have the strength to encourage their patients to remain positive no matter their situation. For the past year and a half I have been able to help these nurses, and experience their duties first hand. Every day I leave the hospital certain that I want to one day follow in their footsteps. I want to be able to make a difference in someone's life and care for them during their time in need. The patients are my motivation to continue to pursue the career in nursing, as long as I am able to help save one life the hours spent in school and volunteer will have all been worthwhile.

Undergraduate / The patients are my motivation ; PERSONAL STATEMENT/ nursing transfer [3]

My prompt is:

Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

I can write more than 500 words. I was trying to connect my volunteer experience as my motivation to pursue nursing because it has really changed my outlook on the nursing career field. I used some of my volunteer essay and incorporated it into my personal statement. I do not feel like it is captivating enough for a school to choose me over hundreds of other applicants! Help please!

The dreary hospital walls, the pungent smell of hospital food, the lingering diseases from hall to hall are not the ideal workplace for most. However, this is where I have chosen to pursue a career in and where I spend my free time a few hours a week. Throughout my childhood, my parents have made school a priority since neither of them has graduated college. I have always had a passion for school, and enjoy expanding my knowledge through a variety of classes. I grew up dreaming of attending a four year institution and receiving a degree. Since I have already attained my Associate's Degree in Math and Natural Science, I wish to continue my education and transfer in order to acquire a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing. My long term goal is to attain my Master's Degree in Nurse Practitioner, and eventually continue on to attain my Doctorate degree as well. As I entered community college, I was unclear of what my career path was intended to be. Since I had always been intrigued by the human body science, I knew I wanted to work in the medical field. I began volunteering at the local hospital in order to experience the medical world first hand. My volunteer experience has made a lasting impact on my future and career goals, and I am certain that nursing is my true passion.

Volunteering in different units of the hospital has shown me the many different aspects of working in the medical field. I have met a variety of patients, each with their own purpose and life story. This has been the most rewarding experience because I am able to connect with and comfort these indisposed individuals. While working on the central floor, I was able to help the nurses with the terminally ill, bedridden, and handicap patients. I experienced some of the most memorable interactions with some of the older patients who would share their life stories, and remarkable life memories with me. Hearing their life stories, I was able to take their mind off of their misfortunes and help them reminisce of their youth and most unforgettable memories. Being able to help these individuals and seeing the positive difference I was making in their life, assured me that nursing was the best career path for me. I would constantly observe the nurses interact with their patients, and I admired them for their hard work and true compassion that they showed to every patient. Nursing is not an easy task, and one must be very strong willed in order to deal with the burden of death and disease.

Nurses throughout the entire hospital have a very challenging job, to care for every individual with the same compassion and have the strength to encourage their patients to remain positive no matter their situation. For the past year and a half I have been able to help these nurses, and experience their duties first hand. Every day I leave the hospital certain that I want to one day follow in their footsteps. I want to be able to make a difference in someone's life and care for them during their time in need. Pursuing a career in nursing will allow me to continue the positive experiences I have had in volunteer because I will be able to directly care for the patients and impact their happiness and health. The patients are my motivation to continue to pursue the career in nursing, as long as I am able to help save one life the hours spent in school and volunteer will have all been worthwhile.

Undergraduate / Furthering studies beyond Associate's Degree; PS - Nursing Transfer & Objectives [2]

Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

I have revised it and added in why I wish to transfer and to a private Jesuit catholic school. hopefully this essay is better. please let me know!

The dreary hospital walls, the pungent smell of hospital food, the lingering diseases from hall to hall are not the ideal workplace for most. However, this is where I have chosen to pursue a career and where I spend my free time a few hours per week. Throughout my childhood, my parents have made school a priority since neither of them has graduated college. I have always had a passion for school, and I enjoy expanding my knowledge through a variety of classes. I grew up dreaming of attending a four year institution and receiving a degree. As I entered community college, I was unclear of what my career path was intended to be. Since I had always been intrigued by the human body science, I knew I wanted to work in the medical field. I began volunteering at the local hospital in order to experience the medical world first hand. My volunteer experience has made a lasting impact on my future and career goals, and I am certain that nursing is my true passion.

Volunteering in different units of the hospital has shown me the many different aspects of working in the medical field. I have been able to come in contact with a variety of patients, each with their own purpose and life story. As I started to connect with some of the patients, I realized the positive difference I was making in their life. This was the most rewarding experience, and it made me realize I wanted to help these indisposed individuals on a daily basis. Being able to bring a smile to a patient's face is not only bringing them happiness, but also helping to heal their mind, body, and soul.

Although I can attain my nursing degree at the community college level, I have decided to transfer to a four year institution because I want to further my education beyond an Associate's Degree. I have already attained my Associate's Degree in Math and Natural Science, and I wish to acquire a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing. My long term goal is to attain my Master's Degree in Nurse Practitioner, and eventually continue on to attain my Doctorate degree as well. I am applying for a Jesuit Catholic University because I have attended the majority of my schooling years in a Catholic school environment. My last two years of high school I attended a public school for the first time, and I was entirely dissatisfied by the instruction that I received. I enjoyed the small student to teacher ratio that I had grown up with, and yearned for a more challenging education. Being under the influence of God and having that spirituality in the classroom, not only encouraged me to pursue my dreams for the future but gave me the morals and values to succeed.

It takes a very passionate person to be able to deal with the burden of death and disease. For the past year and a half I have been able to help the nurses in the hospital, and experience their duties first hand. Every day I leave the hospital certain that I want to one day follow in their footsteps. I want to be able to make a difference in someone's life and care for them during their time in need. Pursuing a career in nursing will allow me to continue the positive experiences I have had in volunteer because I will be able to directly care for the patients and impact their happiness and health. Being able to transfer to a Jesuit Catholic institution, I know I will be getting the best education possible and I will be surrounded by dedicated students who care about their future. I will also be able to express my faith in the Lord freely and receive education based on my morals and beliefs. The patients are my motivation to continue to pursue the career in nursing, and with the help of God I will be able to achieve my dream.