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Posts by carito15
Joined: Feb 13, 2013
Last Post: Feb 25, 2013
Threads: 4
Posts: 5  
From: Argentina

Displayed posts: 9
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carito15   
Feb 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / As a child you can enjoy life without responsabilities and worries [4]

When you ask a person in what time do you want to go back, the answer would mostly be childhood. This is because childhood is the happiest time of a person's life.

To start with, when you are a child you have very few responsibilities, you do not have to worry about paying bills, doing the housekeeping chores or going to work. You can enjoy life free of obligations and you have plenty of free time to do what you want - play computer games, watch TV, go out with friends or any other hobby.

What is more, children are innocent and pure human beings. They have an innocent approach to complicated things. Although they can fight, they end up without any kind of grudge, they are also supportive and kind and they will be always willing to help someone who needs help or love.

To sum up, childhood is the best time in a person's life. As a child you can enjoy life without responsabilities and worries and you can face different situations with love and patience without grudge.
carito15   
Feb 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / AGE GAP IN RELATIONSHIPS IS AN OBSTACLE [3]

Love is a beautiful feeling, especially if you can find true love. People have preferences as regards the person they would like to share their lives with. Some people pay attention to the personality, while others focus on the personal appearence. What cannot be deny is that in a couple we have to learn how to manege differences in order to remain close through time. Nervertheless, there is an issue imposible to overcame: age gap. Couples who have a wide age gap between them will not stand the test of time.

To start with, there are different stages in life and each stage is usually accompanied by a goal or objective. In that case, a girl who has just begun her degree course and whose partner is twenty five years older, may find him less motivated or enthusiastic as regards her achievements. While she has to stay at home studying for her next mid-term, he may be looking forward to relaxing and travelling around the world.

Moreover, the dream of most women is to start a family. When the age gap is wide between the couple, this dream becomes a nightmare. Elderly men usually have children from previous marriages and they are not willing to start again changing diapers or giving the bottle feed. Whta is more, there are other considerations as well, such as siblings who may feel jealous nad evoke a nagging feeling on the new baby and the rest of the family.

As I said before, a wide age gap becomes an obstacle when talking about couples. During life we have different stages and goals and in order to accomplish them we need the support of our partner. If a couple do not work in the same direction to achieve its goals, it is impossible to andure over time.
carito15   
Feb 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / Women should not marry in their teen years [4]

instructions: Write an argumentative essay about marrying young

In the past women were expected to marry young and be in charge of the house, so they could not even think about getting a degree, having a job or their own company. Nowadays, the role of women has changed and they are generally treated equally to men. Women have their own goals and objectives in life; they have many more opportunities and face different challenges. Because of that, women should not marry in their teen years.

As a positive consequence of the changes that the role of women has suffered, most of them have their own priorities and goals: travelling around the world, getting a degree becoming a professional woman, among other things. When a woman is married, priorities necessarily change and achieving all these goals becomes an impossible task. All their personal dreams are generally postposed and as the family grows it is more and more difficult to fulfill them.

Moreover, unlike in the past, nowadays women have access to education; they can do a degree course and become a professional woman. This allows them to have their own job and to progress in life. It also helps women to be financially independent, making them capable of supporting themselves. But marriage life makes everything more difficult. In this case women not only have to study and work but also to be in charge of the family and raise the children.

Finally, all the fact previously mentioned, do not mean that women should not marry, because in the end the most important goal of most women is to start a family. But waiting to get married allows them to grow up professionally and personally and to be ready to face marriage life in a mature and responsible way.
carito15   
Feb 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / With no doubt, Experience is the best teacher [4]

Personally, I think that the structure of the essay is not quite clear! the paragraphs are not balanced and I don't see a clear thesis statement.

You can try writing an introduction, at the end of it you can write the thesis statement. (experience is the best teacher)

then you will need two supporting ideas at least to support your thesis.. and then develop those ideas in two different paragraphs... then the conclusion.

I think your ideas are right but using the previous structure I think the essay would be better
carito15   
Feb 25, 2013
Undergraduate / Surprising endings are better than predictable endings [3]

Surprising endings. write an argumentative essay

Usually "normal" stories are not very interesting as "surprising" stories and it may be because of the clues the writer gives to the reader. When you are just about to get to the end of the story and you think you know what is going to happen, you are not motivated to finish it. The ending should reveal a critical aspect of the story that was kept secret throughout it, so in a good story the reader should not be able to predict how the story will finish.

Being unable to predict the end of the story makes us to feel more eager to go on reading. But if you have too many clues, then you think you know what is going to happen and you do not feel motivating to go on reading. For example, in the story A Glowing Future by Ruth Rendell the author provided the reader with many details related to a tea chest, helping him to find out what is going to happen with that box.

Moreover, in stories, writers usually give a clear description of characters' feelings and emotions. Throughout A glowing future, Ruth Rendell made explicit the feelings that Betsy, one of the main characters, had. She showed Betsy's fury, anger and indignation, emotional states that are clearly related to what was going to happen: murder.

To summarize, a good story should make you believe as if you were part of it throughout the entire book and it also should have a surprising ending that blows you away. If the author gives you too many hints, then you will be able to predict the end and you will not be motivating to go on reading.
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