Writing Feedback / bar graph task 1 spending money on entertainment [5]

The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five-year period. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar graph illustrates us the expenditure of money on various kinds of amusing facilities from 1995 to 2000.
We can see that the highest amount of money was related to the United States, because it was over $250 billion in 2000 in comparison with the spending sum in the same country in 1995.

The situation in Europe and Asia looked approximately similar. In both regions was expended over $100 billion in 2000 and slightly less money in 1995.
The graph indicates that Publishing was the most popular sort of amusement in all regions. Television had been necessary as well. On the third place was Music. Video and Cinema did not differ to each other roughly.

Overall, from the given bar chart it is obviously that in certain regions people spent on several recreational activities more money than the others. But in all of them the most significant level of financial quantity belonged to such forms as Publishing and Television.

It is my first chart describing. I suggest there are a lot of unlinked thoughts. maybe I could not group them in correct way, but I spent on it 25 min (It is long I know:() and there are ~ 168 words

Would you telling me whether I might be successful in writing test in IELTS. It is very important for me. Could you assess y essay and tell me how much score I might got from it?

Thank you in advance!

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Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1 (Cambridge 1) a survey of adult education. (two charts) [5]

Cambridge 1 Writing Task 1
The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.There are two kinds of information given in the charts below. The first chart depicts reasons for getting education by adult people. The second one illustrates the percentage of distributed considering expenditure on education. Both charts will be analyzed before conclusion is shown.

According to the survey, majority of adults were interested in subject, the percentage of that was 40. Similar quantity (38%) belonged to the adults, who saw usefulness of education in gaining qualifications. Whereas, others preferred to think that education was helpful for their current jobs (22%). To improve prospects of promotion and enjoy learning/studying took the same percentage place, which was approximately near previous shown cause. A few percent of adults (12%) decided to study for being able to change jobs. At last, minority of adults (9%) were convinced that getting education was worth because of meeting people.

As we can see from the pie-chart, distributing of money has such picture. 40% of mentioned amount would go to individuals, which was only 5% more than employers' payment. The fewer sums should go to taxpayers, the percentage of that was estimated 25%.

Thus, from the observation, we can conclude our thoughts like this: many people were persuaded to get education because of subjects; average of them would like to improve their professions, positions and studying quality. Whilst, there were some adults, who would use education to find more suitable jobs or meet new people. The expenditure on education by the adults was divided into three parts.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS; It is essential to treasure music as one of the vital kinds of art [2]

There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?Nowadays it is possible to meet lots of kinds of music. Why music is necessary for us? Is national music more important than foreign music which is heard all over the world? Taking acceptance the strength of music, it is hard to imagine human life without it. 'Music is the nutrition for our souls' said in a proverb. Therefore, we can feel the enormous role of music in our lives. To my mind, beautifulness of music does not depend on its sorts. People enjoy it and do not think about what genre it is. As an example we could enumerate various music competitions organized by many countries like Eurovision Song Contest, which are admired everywhere.

Being the core of culture of a country it influences on national fame. For instance, in our country music consists of two main parts: Mougam and Folk music, which have been getting popularity from all regions in the world since it was sprung. However modern music is not always comprehensive and acceptable for different people; despite it is hold by majority of countries. While it has been improved day by day we can notice the appearance very exotic and amazing mixes of modern and national music almost in every country. Most of the countries enjoy such intertwining that could be considered as a new type of music. Inasmuch as this process makes peoples close to each other encouraging them to corporate and befriend.

To summarize, it is necessary to pint that there is not any negativeness or perfectness national or modern music in all. It is essential to treasure music as one of the vital kinds of art.