Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Pros and cons of studying abroad [2]

These days studying abroad are becoming commonplace in many country all around over the globe. While I agree that this type of learning brings about a range of benefits, I also have to agree that there are noticeable drawbacks to go to another country for studying.

To begin with, undoubtedly, studying in a foreign country is a golden opportunity. Firstly, living abroad can help broaden students' horizons. In particular, overseas students are, obviously, exposed to different cultures, customs, and especially, languages. These are precious experiences which generously contributing to the growth of a particular person. Moreover, they, people who studying overseas, would become more independent in both psychological and financial perspectives. Thus, these learners seem, in general, more mature than those who do not go abroad for studying.

Conversely, these students, undeniable, have to cope with many difficulties by varying degrees. The first thing to mention here is language barrier. Studying in a foreign language is academically challenging unless there are prior preparations. Hence, most learners tend to choose an English-speaking country rather than others. Moreover, living alone in an unfamiliar culture can cause homesickness, which play a major part in loneliness and inefficient studying.

Overall, the main conclusion to be drawn is that studying overseas create a lot of minus but it is, in my opinion, worth trying. Provided neither your family is impoverished nor you are extremely bad at languages, studying abroad should be on top of your decisions.

please give me some feedback about my writting. thanks :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Governments and people both should help lower traffic growth and pollution [4]

Last time Eddies gave me a lots helpful advice and I was really appreciate that. thank you.
This is my 2nd essay posted here, hopefully everyone would leave some feedback about my vocabulary as well as my outline. tks in advance.

Topic: Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Arising from modernization, traffic congestion and environmental contamination have been two controversial issues in many developing countries. The co-operation between a country's government and its residents should be the best measurement to this. While rising the cost of petrol generates noticeable merits, i would have to argue that it is not the best way amongst a variety of solutions.

To begin with, increasing the price of haulage power is an exciting possibility but not reliable. Firstly, this measure, absolutely, affects directly to drivers, namely, motor drivers and car drivers. That is to say, as the petrol become costly, there will be a short-term deduction in its consumption which directly affects transport usage. Hence, traffic jam can be decreased considerably which brings about some beneficial impacts to the environment. On the contrary, since people find it hard to travel to work there would be a long-term deduction in national GDP. To put it simply, people need more reasonable means of transport in order to support their work.

On the other hand, there are, obviously, more efficient and more effective cures to traffic growth that we need to take into account. One good answer is to encourage public transport. Take public bus for example. That is to say, those means of transport are economical and efficient in terms of carrying commuters. Moreover, changing our working habit is another possibility. As a result, the density on roads and freeways in rush hour would be in a decline. Giving workers flexible timetables or making use of internet to help people to work at home are good cases in point.

Similarly, environment pollution stemming from traffic growth can be solved largely. In my opinion, the most reliable way out of this beside reducing vehicle density is that government should invest heavily on electrical transportation. In particular, a new project called Tesla has been carried out in some Western countries. In that case, instead of producing contaminated petrol exhausts into the air, our cars would use electricity which is less costly and more friendly to the environment.

To put it in a nut-shell, I would like to reaffirm my position that if governments and people both give a hand to help lower traffic growth and pollution problems, there will be an array of remedies better than rising the petrol's price.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] The two main materials of making cement are limestone and clay [3]

hi everyone, this is my 3rd post. and this time i write a task 1.
i was really appreciate your help last time. i am looking forward to your helpful feedback to this. tk you!

The given diagrams have clearly illustrate the steps involved in producing cement and concrete.

The first picture include various stages of cement development. Following this, it is in turn used to manufacture concrete which consist of fewer stages than the former.

Referring to the first diagram, the two main materials of making cement are limestone and clay. First of all, they are grounded in a crusher until becoming powder before being sent to a mixer. At the next stage, the mix of powder is heated by fire in a rotating heater. After that, a grinder is prepared to finish the process. Once the mix is grounded again, cement is created and packaged in bags.

Before using for building purposes, cement is transferred into concrete which comprises cement, sand, water and gravel. The combination contains 15 percent cement, 25 percent sand, ten percent water and a half is small stones. They are all put into a concrete mixer in order to be blended together. As mentioned above, this process is shorter than the previous, yet, it requires more elements.

Writing Feedback / IELTS : Everyone possess a talent - we should recognize it and improve [4]

Hi guys, this is my 4th essay. Thank you for all your previous comment. Hopefully you will give me some interesting feedback this time. And please mark my essay as a real writing test, tks in advance.

Topic: It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, It is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In our modern society of today, there is a wide range of prodigies and people who are particularly successful. It is undeniable that those people, in my opinion had to try hard on the desire to be acknowledged by the world. While I agree that some are born with outstanding talents, I would have to argue that they need to be trained and taught well so that their abilities could become useful and reliable.

To begin with, it is, in general, said that only some people are genius whereas others are not. Obviously, most men, in order to achieve enormous success, are particular good at some areas. Take Messi for example. He can be regarded as the number one football player in the world as it is noticeable that he is a genius in football. Conversely, I cannot go along with the idea that others people, who are not famous for any talents, were not born with any certain gifts. Sooner or later, they will find out their fields. For instance, an auditor may be bad at singing, sports or any other means of social activities but he should be good at calculating as the reason why he chooses this kind of job.

On the other hand, without education, I feel, no one could make use of their talents. As referring to prodigies, learning seems to play a hugely important part of their lives. In particular, Leonardo davinci, one of the world's greatest genius, had studies art for years. That is to say, their skills can be reduced and become useless only if they are trained how to use them effectively and efficiently. Otherwise, with regarding to 'normal people', as I mentioned above, after a long period of practicing and learning those people would be better than any particular genius in his area. Cristina Ronaldo is a good case in point. After five years of hard working he had transformed from one standard player into the most potential competitor of Messi.

Overall, I would reaffirm my position that everyone has their own talents. Spending time figuring out and improving that is necessary for a fulfilled and happy life.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: 'food, drink and tobacco' - statistic of expenditure graph [3]

The given table has clearly compared the contribution of three different categories on national consumer expenditure amongst five countries in 2002.

It is clear that larger percentages of the expenditure were spent on food, drink and tobacco, whilst leisure and education accounted for only mere minorities. Interestingly, Spain had the lowest ratio for the latter.

As can be seen from the figures, cigarette, food and drink held the highest proportion of nearly one third in Turkey, which was almost doubled that in Sweden. Otherwise, spending roughly three out of ten of the expenses on the same category, Ireland ranked second. Simultaneously, Ireland came second in term of country spending least on leisure and education, that was just over a half as high as Turkey (2.21 percent and 4.35 percent respectively).

As referring to clothes and footwear, comprising exactly nine percent, it was more common in Italy than other countries. At the same time, Sweden was at the bottom of the list with only a tiny minority of 5.4 percent. Finally, clothing and footwear made up similar amounts of approximately 6.5 percent in three other countries, namely, Ireland, Spain and Turkey.

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