Undergraduate / " The three concepts in my life" - Florida State University Essay [8]

Hello, I plan on applying to FSU and I wrote my essay but I was wondering if I should make any changes to it before applying? My essay is below and the prompt is

For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

Throughout my entire life, the values embodied in the words "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been greatly emphasized. Though all three concepts are present in my life, the two which I find are most prominent are Vires and Artes. Various forms of strength and skill play an immense role in the story of my life.

During the greater part of my childhood, I was constantly moving residences as a result of my dad's job in the hotel business. Anybody who has ever had to move knows how much emotional stress is dumped on one when attempting to make new connections and being forced to say goodbye to old ones. Since I was only in my childhood years, I was, in a sense, obliged to mentally grow up quicker than most other little girls. Now that I have a permanent residence in Florida, I am glad of how strong I am mentally as a result of all the change when I was younger-from having to make new friends to changing schools and being placed in totally new and strange environments. Leadership is another field where I show strength. I have been an active member of my class board and many other clubs in school, as well as leading community service projects and being involved in a student leadership organization. Participating in the various organizations has made me an increasingly capable leader. Also, my strength in the athletic field has been displayed through my participation on the volleyball and tennis teams throughout my high school career.

Entering the sixth grade, I discovered my passion of music when I began playing the cello in my middle school's orchestra. The concept of Artes is embodied in my life through my love for music; where I can express myself by playing a beautiful piece of music. As I entered high school, I nearly gave up playing the cello, but I found that without the cello, it would be like missing a piece to a puzzle. The values embodied in Artes also show through my pursuit of academic excellence. In my earlier school years, grades were not in my top priorities and I was ok with settling for average. Now, however, I pay greater attention to how I am doing in my classes and I strive to put all I can into my schoolwork while also allowing time for extracurricular activities. My tenacity in the academic field results from my motivation to go above and beyond what is expected of me by my peers.

My comprehension of the values in the concepts "Vires, Artes, Mores" is that Florida State University looks for more than just brains from potential students. I believe that my capability of adapting to new environments and to do so while leading my fellow students and working hard academically would greatly benefit the campus community. The reflection of the values of "Vires, Artes, Mores" in my life are immense and will continue to carry on as I attend Florida State University.

Undergraduate / 'Acting like an adult' - Florida A meaningful experience.. [4]

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you descrbe a meaningful event, experience, or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience.

The thought of leaving behind everything and everyone I was familiar with used to frighten me. College used to loom in my thoughts like an enormous, terrifying monster that I would not have to worry about for a long time. Now that senior year has arrived, that monster called college is quickly approaching. However, I no longer look at growing up and leaving home as a traumatic event, but rather as a brand new adventure to embark upon. The reason I now feel ready to launch into this adventure is majorly due to my experience working as a counselor-in-training this past summer.

Camp Merri-Mac, located in North Carolina, has been my summer retreat for the past seven years. As a camper, I only attended camp for two weeks per summer. This past summer, however, I spent four weeks away from Florida as a counselor-in training (also known as a CIT). While working as a CIT, I learned what responsibility meant on a whole new level. Not only were my fellow CIT's and I responsible for performing the "dirty work" around camp, we were responsible for over 300 girls whose parents entrusted in us to keep their children safe. As a CIT, I was constantly being followed and watched by young girls who looked up to me as their role model. Acting as a mature, responsible young adult was vital when working as a CIT. Just as one must learn to become independent, timely, and responsible for one's grades and lifestyle at college, I learned to become independent, timely, and responsible for my actions while at camp.

Upon returning home, I found myself acting less like a teenager, and more like a young adult. For instance, instead of requesting my mom call the school to inquire about my class schedule, I took responsibility and called myself. Also, I now participate regularly in class discussions and show leadership in my school, whereas in past years I was more likely to sit back and listen to everyone else discussing certain matters. Independence is another large aspect of becoming a college student, and by being required to rely on myself to solve problems at home.

The campus community at UF seeks out students who are responsible, hard-working leaders. My newly found confidence in myself and in others has prepared me for what lies ahead in college. The college experience, in my eyes, is intended to promote one's growth as an individual while being surrounded by and involved with many diverse groups of people. My experience as a CIT taught me how to do just that. If I were to attend UF, my contribution of integrity, leadership, independence and responsibility would greatly benefit the campus community.

Undergraduate / Camp Merri-Mac (UF Essay...A meaningful experience) [2]

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

The thought of leaving behind everything and everyone I was familiar with used to frighten me. College used to loom in my thoughts like an enormous, terrifying monster that I would not have to worry about for a long time. Now that senior year has arrived, that monster called college is quickly approaching. However, I no longer look at growing up and leaving home as a traumatic event, but rather as a brand new adventure to embark upon. The reason I now feel ready to launch into this adventure is majorly due to my experience working as a counselor-in-training this past summer.

Camp Merri-Mac, located in North Carolina, has been my summer retreat for the past seven years. As a camper, I only attended camp for two weeks per summer. This past summer, however, I spent four weeks away from Florida as a counselor-in training (also known as a CIT). While working as a CIT, I learned what responsibility means on a whole new level. Not only were my fellow CIT's and I responsible for performing the "dirty work" around camp, we were also responsible for over 300 girls whose parents entrusted in us to keep their children safe. As a CIT, I was constantly being followed and watched by young girls who looked up to me as their role model. Acting as a mature, responsible young adult was vital when working as a CIT. Just as one must learn to become independent, timely, and responsible for one's grades and lifestyle at college, I learned to become independent, timely, and responsible for my actions while at camp.

Upon returning home, I found myself acting less like a teenager, and more like a young adult. For instance, instead of requesting my mom call the school to inquire about my class schedule, I took responsibility and called myself. Also, I now participate regularly in class discussions and show leadership in my school, whereas in past years I was more likely to sit back and listen to everyone else discussing certain matters. Independence is another large aspect of becoming a college student, and by being required to rely on myself to solve problems at home.

The campus community at UF seeks out students who are responsible, hard-working leaders. My newly found confidence in myself and in others has prepared me for what lies ahead in college. The college experience, in my eyes, is intended to promote one's growth as an individual while being surrounded by and involved with many diverse groups of people. My experience as a CIT taught me how to do just that. If I were to attend UF, my contribution of integrity, leadership, independence and responsibility would greatly benefit the campus community.