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Posts by OSM
Name: Osamu Shibata
Joined: Jan 26, 2016
Last Post: May 16, 2016
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Japan

Displayed posts: 5
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OSM   
Jan 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Modern communication gives great tools to connect people but it's less personal than direct relation [4]

Telephones and email have made communication between people less personal or not?

<Introduction>
Telephones and email have prevailed in our lives to a great extent. Our ordinary business works actually require these communication tools every day. While it is widely known that they play a convenient role in our lives, I'm of the opinion that they have a negative effect on personality between people. The following reasons are to support my opinion:

Firstly, we cannot share emotion with other people less effectively through telephones and email as we target. These tools do not provide information-receivers with facial expressions, body gesture and nuance of language not as like face-to-face conversations. Depending on such methods, we recognize that information-suppliers want to tell anger, sadness and delight. Email only delivers sentences to designated people's mail box without the methods, and it must take a lot of trouble and time summarizing what moved the writers emotionally. We would have difficulty producing long sentences of emotional things every day unless we are essayists, writers or poets whatsoever. Also, telephones are still less effective to the point where the receivers cannot see the movement of face and body even if it's capable of controlling the tone of speaking voice. Everyone should have experienced a confusing occasion where joking is taken as serious thing irrespective of speaker's intention on the telephone. Such an unwilling thing is caused by invisibility of speakers' faces to tell what is funny and interesting in the conversation. That disadvantage makes the personality less effective indeed.

Secondly, both communication tools are less preventive for confidentiality of keeping information. Emails, especially at work, are always distributed to different receivers at the same time. It is very likely that people will mail the secret content to wrong receivers irrespective of their intention. Also, we must speak up on telephones. On such an occasion, what we are telling will be heard wrongly in the public, thus the secret information will spread out despite our wishes. If the secrets are not kept, it might cause distrust, doubt and discord between our relationships. In consideration of those risks, people do prefer talking to partners directly inside a personal space where speakers and listeners face themselves within 2~3 meters. Many of us know that fact and are convinced that email and telephones should not be utilized.

Notwithstanding these disadvantages, there are many occasions where we use these tools. Especially, people between remote areas like to contact each other by them. Under the situation where people do not see partners due to the remote location, email message and telephone call would work for covering their loneliness. Nowadays, we can see each face on the screen thanks to some application system such as Skype and LINE. However, even if these communications are available, people in remote area hope to see partners and family face-to-face for the reasons of emotion and confidentiality. On the screen, body gesture is too limited to convey joyful topics. The personal information, which should not be heard by others, has to be spoken up on such up-to-date phone system too. Thus, both tools are less effective to keep the personal communications.
OSM   
Feb 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / Modern communication gives great tools to connect people but it's less personal than direct relation [4]

Dear Wahyu,

I appreciate your fruitful advice. Certainly, I regret the example of advantages is weak although some sentences in the last paragraph regarding Skype and LINE were already mentioned. I'll consider the drawback as per your instruction from the next essay. Thank you very much.

Dear Dynaranjani,

As you said, it will be a better if I compare both views between positive side and negative side parallelly. Meanwhile, I have to consider the causality between personality and confidentiality too. Thank you very much for your view.

Osamu
OSM   
Apr 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of movies description in India, Ireland, New Zealand, and Japan categorised in four types [3]

Hi, tria25. Please see my views as follows:

As shown in the table , the number of movies is introduced by four countries, i.e., India, Ireland, New Zealand and also Japan, and divided into four types of action, romance, comedy, and horror.

Readers could understand millions of measurement upon seeing the table, so I omitted this word. Also, "such as" means exemplification of particular information among many categories. When you use "such as" here, it seems there might be other categories like documentary, musical or historical film in addition to the said categories. Therefore, I illustrated the number of categories without using "such as".

Turning first to India and Japanto begin with, India gains the greatest figures for film ...
As the main sentence here shows the country name, you will not need to repeat it on introduction phrases.

I hope these views would be of help to your learning.
OSM   
May 16, 2016
Essays / Why reducing stress is very essential? To concentrate on your work or school, or enjoy your life [3]

Hi Nazifa,

Here are my tips for reasoning the necessity to reduce stress.

1) Mental Disease
Stress is always a factor of mental diseases. If you cannot be free from the stress for a long time, we will have a risk suffering from depression, long-term anxiety, disorder and so on. As these diseases contribute to further problems such as insomnia or spouse for dementia, reducing stress is the first care to prevent such mental diseases.

2) Unstable Appetite
Under a high stress surrounding, some people's appetite will deteriorate and we will not be able to keep energetic body conditions. If the appetite is completely lost, we may have a danger of dehydration or malnutrition and even a death in such worst cases. On the other hand, other people will eat too much under a heavy stress. As we know, eating tons of amount will bring about obesity, diabetes and stomach pain. In order not to have such different problem, reducing stress is essential for our life.

I hope these ideas will be of help to your writing.

OSM
OSM   
May 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. Which do you prefer? [2]

Along with technological development till the present, we have seen a transcendence of the working style, i.e., from working by hand to by machines. While the latter working method has prevailed across almost the entire world, the former kind of old-fashioned style in some places still remains. I would like to pursue which would be more valuable for our life.

I'm of the opinion that working by hand should be prioritized over working by machines, because such a style creates its own value such as artistic objects or drawings. On the contrary, machines always make some accurate but monotonous movement as operated or systemized. I state the principle values for working by hand as follows:

Firstly, if we were workers, we would be able to adjust or control the quality of our commitment well in accordance with the beneficiary's requirement and preference. For example, one owner might request a roughly shaped ceramic with heterogeneity, while another might wish to have a flat shaped one with uniformity. Professional ceramic artists are capable of creating different types of works, however, machines are unable to mimic such remarkable techniques.

Secondly, the worker's style would become more and more elaborated and sophisticated by experiencing many failures on process to completion. Of course, hand-workers always have a risk of trouble and accident by their own mistakes on the contrary to machines, which don't such mistakes. However, such repeated failures may broaden a chance of creating some surprising ideas and ways for success. I have heard of an interesting story about the origin of "Tonkotsu-Ramen", a sort of Japanese soul food. One day, the owner of a Ramen shop wrongly boiled his pork-based soup with higher temperature than aimed and made it white-turbid. The unexpected soup was surprisingly mild and delicious. That was the origin of Tonkotsu soup indeed. If he always had managed with machines for cooking, Tonkotsu ramen might have not been born in Japan.

Machines measure the exact speed, temperature, height and weight of objects with precision. These merits will make our work efficiency better to a great extent. However, the most important thing for working is to satisfy our friends, families, partners, clients or owners by commitment. In order to achieve it, we need flexible behaviour and creative ideas in accordance with their different preferences. Machines alone could neither create such flexibility nor have creativity without human control. Hence, I think working by hand is more valuable and successful for satisfaction of people. (439 Words)
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