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Posts by dgr8swati
Name: Swati
Joined: Jul 13, 2016
Last Post: Sep 19, 2016
Threads: 3
Posts: 3  
From: India

Displayed posts: 6
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dgr8swati   
Jul 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / Technology versus art - what is an essential subject for children at school [3]

IELTS Essay: Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Art as a subject in school has been arguable topic. One portion of the world population believes art as a subject is just wastage of time, while others consider it as vital portion of human generation. In this essay, first will show how modern technology are replacing art, then will show how art helps children, then finally will present reasonable conclusion.

Modern technology has become indivisible part of the human life. We cannot think life without technology. For instance, computer literacy has become essential for everyone, and one who does not know how to handle computer is considered as illiterate. Due to this modernization, some argue that children should be taught technology related subject as they can help them for their career growth and earnings. From their point of view, traditional subjects like art are only wastage of time and worth to be replaced by technology related subjects.

On the flip side, art is very important part of the human life and always been a medium of expressing feelings specifically for children. For instance, child who always prefers their comfortable zone can express their feelings by means of painting. Apart from this, in this era of competition, while stress seems to be indivisible part of human race, arts can act as a way to release stress. For example, nowadays music therapy is used to cure depression. In addition to this, arts like dancing keeps child not only fit but also healthy.

To conclude, although arts subjects are essential for overall growth of a person, modern technology related subjects like science and mathematics are essential for career growth. In my opinion, although children should be taught all the subjects in primary education, they should be given choice to select subject in secondary education.
dgr8swati   
Sep 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing: who is going to be responsible for environmental problems? [2]

My English is not so good and I am still learning .
There are a few small mistakes I can revise for you.
I am so glad to learn from your essay.

.... introducing efficient regulations, and. Further I believe that making laws and ..

.....been driven from human beings' activities OR activieis of human beings

----using home appliances too much. extensive usage of home appliances.

-----first, try to do lessdecrease such activities, environmental issues ...
dgr8swati   
Sep 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting? [2]

IELTS Task 2 Topic: 'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?

Work from home is increasing in almost all the countries of the world. It is convenient for both employees and employers. This concept of telecommuting is beneficial for the society from social, economical and environment point of view.

From a social point of view, it may positively affect the family which is a core part of the social community. In most of the countries, either parent, especially a woman, will have to leave the job to take care of the child. The concept of work from home enables them to work without going office, making themselves free from the guilt of leaving the child alone at home. Due to this time flexibility, they could spend more time with family, friends and children, which is the sign of a healthy society where people interact and become socialize with each other. Thus, it is the great step towards mental health of people and so flourishing civilization.

From the economical point of view, it helps to grow global economy. As many constraints like time, traveling and social responsibilities are removed by this concept of work from home, more citizens joined the workforce, as a result, production has improved and also the wealth of the country. From another point of view, employers would not have to think about the availability of the resources like workforce, office space, telephones, office stationeries and computers, which decreases the cost of production.

Also, the environment will also be benefitted by this policy. For example, because people will not have to commute to the office every day, not only traffic will be reduced but also air pollution will be diminished.

In conclusion, due to computers, information technology and telecommunication, it has become possible to create a virtual office in the world where people from anywhere could be hired and cost of production could be reduced. Consequently, not only employee and employer but also society as a whole would gain from this.
dgr8swati   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Is it worth to move around in several different places during our lifetime? [2]

However, revolution era makehas made the people moved from one place to another place. It has both advantage and disadvantage for both conditions.
More complex language is required.
... there were several interesingintresting benifits in the current locations.
It influences people helpedto help each other more . They are accustomed to managingmanage their daily activitesactivities that became positive . Then, the effect for the family can helped in house. Write in second paragraph In contrast, there were disadvantages as well. People got get bored because of the same activity (...) many work chance opportunity , because there are aof the little field of employment.

I think there are moremany possible advantages of being people who move from place to place much more. People can learn more from new destination to livedlive .

Many grammatical error. You need to improve you grammar dear. Long way to go...
dgr8swati   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Spending money on a particular sector is a crucial decision to be taken by the government. [2]

Topic: Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere.
To what extent do you agree with this view?


Answer: Spending money on a particular sector is a crucial decision to be taken by the government which could significantly affect the society. Some believe that nowadays the government is investing the fund in the art which is nothing but wastage of valuable resources which if invested in other sectors, could be proved to be more useful. Others believe that arts being an indispensable part of human race, worthy to get more fund. I believe that the government should spend reasonably.

On one hand, the government should and is investing fund for nourishing the art which is very vital for the development of humankind. Artifacts created by artists are essential for the preservation of the heritage which can be very useful for the young generation. For example, plays of the great writer Shakespear are very enlighting for the mankind. Secondly, artistic skills like painting, acting, dancing are good for the human community to nurture the society. For instance, the human can feel relax when it indulge in these activities. Thus it is very clear this area of arts is worth to spend to flourish the habitat on this planet.

On the other hand, some people believe it would be more beneficial for the human race to spend the funds in other areas like the science and humanitarian aid. The first point to make is that scientific research in fields like medical, astronomy and engineering are very crucial for this earth. For example, the invention of medicines for diseases like AIDS is very imperative for the human being. Another point is that there are many dilemmas on this mother earth that are worthwhile. For instance, the crime rate has been increasing worldwide; similarly, the poverty rate is also growing day by day. From all these arguments, it is crystal clear that the scientific research and helping underprivileged are substantial areas to be considered by all the authorities of the world.

To sum up, the importance of spending on the art is not deniable, although there are more issues to fight for survival on this planet.
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