Writing Feedback / Citizens are using less bicycle than they used to do in the past. There are several reasons for this [5]

Please help me to correct my essay and GIVE ME SOME MARKS if you can ,thank you very much

Writing task 2 13/08/2016 (250 words in 40 minutes) with topic (actually I did it at home so I spent about over 60 mins @@):
More and more people do not ride the bicycle as a mode of transportation even though it has a lot of benefits. Causes and solutions.

Nowaday,there are so many kinds of modern transport in the social community.It is obvious that the citizen are using less bicycle than they used to do in the past.There are several reasons for this trend and important solutions for this case.

At first,the major cause is the more and more popular appearance of cars and motorbikes are taking place the role of cycling,one of the basic private vehicle.People are getting more interested in machine than using their own foots.The second idea for the reason,why bikes are disappear,is the danger in traffic.As can be seen that controling low speed vehicles in order to enter the busy roads,which completely full of fast transports,for instance,trucks and cars,is too dangerous for the user.If the accident happen,it will be very serious damage.

Nevertheless,it is not impossible to make the bicycle be more popular for the human again.Firstly,the government ought to create more necessary law to encourage the change in the people 's behaviors,particularly replacing the system using unrenewable source by renewable source one.Secondly,parents need to teach their children about protecting environment.Futhermore,children and youngster are the new generations of every countries and they need strong health to grow up so cycling is the most powerful habit.They also need to know how modern the other vehicles are,bikes still play a crucial role in life.

In conclusion,Although bicycles are being forgotten, it still is possible to encourage more people enjoy travelling by bike and make it more popular in the society.

Important - you must give more useful comments to avoid account suspension.

Writing Feedback / The advertising of certain food products should be banned [6]

Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes is banned. Do you agree or disagree?.

Food have played a essential role in the mankind for thousand years. In the 21st century,some people believe that some kind of food should be limited as the limitation of cigarettes and tobaccos they did before,due to the negative impact to the community. In my private opinion, I completely agree with this view.

Firstly, the food, which have high cholesterol and unnatural chemicals, such as fast food and junk food, are damaging seriously to the human 's health. There are over 1000 of patients, who have problem with obesity, have been added in the world every year and this signal will increse more quickly in next several years, following a research of WHO in 2014. The most crucial reason is they have abused KFC or MC Donald for a long time, instead of using more healthy products. That thing explain why we should control and carry out advertisements of some certain products.

Secondly, If the congress create laws to limit the society using too much the unhealthy food, it will make a big change in the human 's behavior in eating by using more traditional product with high nutritional value. In fact, in Canada, 80% of junk food companies are taxed with the same level of tobacco by the government and they are not allowed to advertise in any means of communications. As a result, the activities in producing and using some kind of unhealthy food will be controlled.

In conclusion, because of the disadvantage of some certain food product, particularly junk food, It should be limited in the public with the most powerful solutions.

can somebody tell me how score did i get in 4 criteria of IELTS and which is the biggest false to make my score go down seriously :

-task achievement
-coherence and cohesion
-lexical resource
-grammartical range and accuracy
=> overall
Thank you ^^