Writing Feedback / "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare." GRE issue [3]

136. "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
Did I write in a too pessmistic way? How about the analysis?
Thank you soooo much!

Human beings, no matter how strong and unconquerable, yet must yield to destiny. Though people are offered free will to choose in most cases, there are times, however reluctantly people might to concede, when they can do nothing but ??//

Admittedly, social development has called for/urged more emphasis on guaranting freedom and well-being of people than any other time in history. Actually, the improvement in science and technology greatly promotes people's modern lives by bringing more choices and methods. From transportation, communication, to education and so on, today people are offered various choices so as to best satisfy their needs. Technology has use its power to gently take care of people in every detail it can. As demands in human rights and dignity increase, more laws and regulations have been carried out to ensure the freedom and well-being of people. The improved status of women and more protection to minority and the poor show social awareness of giving equal opportunities to everone and exterminating unfairness and discrimination. In this sense, circumstances when there is no choice seems rare, especially considering people are trying to decrease the embarrassments when facing dilemmas in lives.

However, no matter how strong people are in conquering the nature and in self-improving, they never are offered the choice of determine their own birth and death. It is true that people can not control the most important thing in life and the ultimate goal of science and technology is merely trying to get close while may never discover the myth of life. In a word, people are at disposition of destiny, which life may end at any moment, any place. Consider, the desperation in eyes of the cancer patients, who do not have choice but accept the bitter arrangement of destiny; a 22-year old graduate may never expected that her promising life would end at the next cross road; a happy family of 4 would never forese that they could not go back from their vocation to Indonesia when a tsunami washed everything away without a trace. Though people are not confronted with these life and death problems as frequent as those in daily lives, these are of crucial significance that determines the life span. Without life, everything is in vain. Consider about the destiny, people seldom have the choice to decide their lives, though people are naturally more likely to forget it and believe everything is within their control.

Moreover, being confined within a limited view and knowledge, people are, in deed, making compromise rather than truly follow their free will when facing the reality. It is undeniable that we actually know little about the future. With no effort spared, people are just trying to predict the future rather than seeing future. In this sense, though it seems that people can take various methords to reach their goals, fundamentally, they just compromise with the reality by taking the less risky path. Few people really know what kind of decision will exactly lead to their dreams; uncertainty and risk are always inevitable. So every choice is limited and imperfect when in retrospect, given people can never be well-informed about the future in advance.

In brief, though people are offered many good choices in solving daily affairs through the social and technological advancement, people never truly have the chance to determine their own destiny. Besides, what people are doing now is just compromising to the uncertainty of future; the perfect choice is never available. However, as the best gift endowed to human is hope, people should keep improving themselves and pursuing their dream despite of these limitations.

Writing Feedback / GRE issue 153 skepticism in studying [5]

Learning is a life long process. From the minute we are born, study is destined to accompany us for a whole life. As students often get confused or misled in the pursuing of knowledge, some people points out, instead of taking in passively, students should think whatever they are taught with skepticism. Though not fully agree with it, I do think this view gives light to our current problems in school education.

Of course, it takes little pains and efforts to accept; no matter it is an object or knowledge. When sitting in the classroom, due to innate indolence or afraid to challenging authority, students are more likely to just write down what are on the board and buy it. However, in the long run, students will find they gradually degrade into study machines that do not have their own ideas, even worse; a loss of judgment may deeply frustrate them when faced with situations that need to make choice.

Facing with this prevailing problem in school education, learning with skepticism is encouraged, which benefits students in thinking actively. Though it takes time and energy, students will gain much through the process of thinking about the credibility or truth of what they are taught. First, the knowledge are not all fully testified and flawless, the active skeptical learning make students to think critically and sometimes find existing false. It is through skeptical thinking and thorough analysis that many discoveries and conceptions in history are corrected by later people, or else, there will be no real advance in pursuing truth. Second, skeptical thinking process exercise students' brain to make judgment and distinguish right from wrong, which is indispensable to an independent thinker. In order to compare and contrast, people often have to view things from different angles and various aspects, which will sharpen their minds. As a result, students will think more completely by taking many possible factors in their decision. Moreover, learning with skepticism also prompts students to explore more after class by themselves. Usually it is far from enough to persuade students themselves just by reading the materials in books, so after-class researches are necessary so as to be well-informative to make judgment. As they know more, they are offered more methods. This active study will help students not only to extend their knowledge but also invoke creative ideas and unconventional thinking.

Admittedly, overdue skepticism prohibits students to learn knowledge, which is harmful to their knowledge accumulation. If he has doubt on whatever he is studying, it is helpless as well as wastes time and energy, for no one can possibly gather enough evidence to convince him. As for a primary stage learner, whose basic knowledge and experience are limited, it is better for them to be guided under proper instruction first. When basic knowledge is gained and solid foundation is laid, they can start for their own expeditions in truth.

In brief, studying in a skeptical and active way is of great significance to learners, which contributes to critical thinking, sharp mind and creative ideas. Of course, to be doubtable on everything is totally unnecessary.

Thank you for your opinion! it will be helpful to me~

Writing Feedback / GRE issue 48 History is like a puzzle [4]

THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH !

History is like a puzzle, with so many sides and hidden lines that all determine the compelling and disputable feature of history. People's various interpretations to a period of history never cease and the famous few always remain the heat discussions in past and now. While some may question whether the famous few are paid undue attention by the study of history for groups of people that be left to the corner are, in fact, the true hero. I believe the development of history has already given its answer, the focus never and should not change.

Admittedly, the influence of groups of people on the history is undeniable, without whom, a great part of important incidents can not make a difference in history. The power of any individual is quite limited, it is the joint work of public that finally form a strong force to change the course of history. One man's voice and absence is not likely to call the attention of company board, but strike of thousand of workers or more are effective to make the leaders to listen to the workers' requests.

Nevertheless, the famous few play as the catalyst or pistol in movements in human history, they possess distinguish qualities that deserve big attention in history records. Not like the followers and majority people, these individuals usually endeavoured great efforts and run high risks to become outstanding. Never is it easy to gain the supports from the public as they had to first work against the accepted rules as well as persuade others to realize the existing problems and join their group. Consider about the perilous social environment, how brave and intelligent were Martin Luther King to give such a sensational and inspiring speech before thousands of people, speaking out the problems and calling on all the black to fight together. No doubt, the outstanding few their personal spirit, courage and wisdom made them naturally attractive to the historians and audiences. Besides, it is difficult and impossible to record and comment the complex and numerous roles of the mass played in the history. They are mostly remembered as a whole of the hope of human in light of following the trend of social development.

Moreover, History is a book from which people get to know themselves and learn humanity; in essence, it is recorded based on culture and value. The emphasis on individuals rightly show that history value these merits and the stories are of educational meaning in encouraging people to pursue truth, freedom, equality and all the other merits needed for a better world. These few individual best represent the cherishable virtue of mankind.

In brief, though the process of human society is achieved by the joint efforts of groups of people, the few individual, however, can never be over-emphasis in history study, judging their own compelling personal charm and representativeness of human merits.

439

Writing Feedback / 'saving land for the endangered animals' - toefl IBT issue [7]

With the development of science and technology, human beings have gained increasing control over the world than anytime in the history. The human race have greatly expanded their territory which is beyond their ancestor's wildest dream. However, the comfortable and easy life we enjoy is gained at the price of ignoring the survival of other animals on earth. Now, though hard to accept, many animals have disappeared on the planet and many of the rest are in great danger. So, from my viewpoint it is more important to save land for endangered animals than to use the land for farming, housing and industry.

It is true that the significance of developing industry and building more houses for people can not be neglected, people now are depending on many of these commodities and some are waiting to move out of their ratty and old houses and live into new and nice ones. In addition, the call for more food to feed the population explosion is urgent. I think these problems can be solved through careful and reasonable plans but the situation that animals, once die out, nothing can be done to make it up.

Animal genes have valuable meaning in biology. The genes they carry are crucial to other species on earth. The food chain theory reveals that every species depends on each other. If one kind of animal dies out, its predator will be influenced because they can not find enough food. What is worse, this effect will pass on to other species as a chain. As a matter of fact, it is human who is at the top of the food chain will eventually be affected .Thus only with gene diversity can every species live in prosperous.

Furthermore, people should consider seriously that the resources are not infinite, the earth can not bear uncontrolled explosion of human population, or else people will end up with no food and space to survive. Actually a mount of land can be better used to meet our needs if we make a careful plan. Many grains are planted to feed cattles while in African countries many people are dying from starvation. If people can stop building large but unnecessary houses and decrease buying many luxury products, many land can be save to do the right things.

In conclusion, the importance of saving land for the endangered animals outweighs using these lands for food, house and industry purpose. The calling for protecting the endangered animals should raise everyone's attention; only through our efforts as a whole can we enjoy the beautiful world.

that is my ibt essay, thanks for your advice, that will be very helpful.

Writing Feedback / Toefl essay -- planning and organization [5]

topic the ability to plan and organize is more essential for young people now

it is no longer uncommon to hear people complain about what a mess is their life. workers forget to pay their bills because they are stuck in their work, housewives carry home with two bags of glossaries but unfortunately they forget to buy one of their necessities. students miss one key point of their professor's requirement and have to do their assignments all over again. it is true that we are involving in a fast development of modern life, which brings us convenience as well as complex. we now not only need to face increasing requirements from work, school but also more complex choices from life. thus , even though some people are reluctant to agree that the ability to plan and organize is essential for young generation, i have to say it is true.

to start with, people now are faced with a more sophisticate society that before, emerging along with the development of science and technology is not only those skyscrapers , subways , space shuttle,but also much more detailed requirements of almost every aspect of people's life. an engineer nowadays need to concern not only about his mechanical design and the potential needs in the fast changing market, but also thinks about applying for the product patent. without the awareness of protecting his work first, it is far from enough for him to compete with others and survive in the market. therefore,with many aspects need to concern, every step the engineer takes should be well planed and organized before. as for a students, who usually bear much more heavier burden from assignments and tests , the ability to plan and organize is crucial for them. only with a mature study plan can lead a student to well finish these tasks and balance their work and play.

second, without a plan before taking action, people are very likely to be distracted from many irrelevant things and finally lost themselves in a sea of information. Take my mother as an example, she is a typical housewife, when our family runs out of necessities, she will purchase them for us. Once my mother came back home after long hours of shopping, but she soon found some important necessities were forgotten. She was simply distracted by other commodities in the mall. and without a inventory to remind her, she forget the oil and soy sauce, which caused she couldn't cook that night. Finally ,we spent extra money dinning outside. Plan and organize guarantee that people will not miss every detail, and thus complete their work more smoothly.

All in all, the ability to plan and organize is crucial and essential to people, especially the younger generation, who will face a more competitive and complex society in the future. Considering the importance of this ability, we can not emphasis it more.