Posts by Crystor

Crystor

Dec 28, 2016

Undergraduate / We challenge our students to 'be comfortable being uncomfortable'. Georgia Tech Supplement Essay [4]

'I want to quit!' I thought after a long day's work in the restaurant. 'I am so exhausted and I can't do anything right! Families are celebrating Christmas in the restaurant but I was blamed because one of my customers left without paying the bill!'

Tossing in bed till 2 a.m., I finally realised I was the one who decided to work during the winter vacation. It is my responsibility to stop focusing on the negative side and serve the costumers with my best condition.

Surprisingly, instead of feeling suffering, I got to enjoy the work, when I began to communicate with my customers, when I started thinking about how to increase efficiency of the ordering system, when I tried to made friends with my colleagues. Every day was like an adventure and the laughters on my customers' faces drove away all my exhaustion.

145/150

Crystor

Dec 28, 2016

Undergraduate / We challenge our students to 'be comfortable being uncomfortable'. Georgia Tech Supplement Essay [4]

@kc1099
I changed to this:
In a completely unfamiliar atmosphere, I was not treated as a student or a teenager any more. I have to take heavy responsibility and tolerate some terrible attitudes from customers.

What do you think?

Crystor

Dec 27, 2016

Undergraduate / We challenge our students to 'be comfortable being uncomfortable'. Georgia Tech Supplement Essay [4]

Question: We challenge our students to 'be comfortable being uncomfortable'. Tell us about a time in high school that you felt outside of your comfort zone and the resolution. max 150 words

Job at a restaurant

At the winter vacation of my junior year, I worked in a busy restaurant in the centre of Beijing. In a completely strange atmosphere, I was not protected as a student or a teenager any more. Sometimes, customers with terrible attitudes even shouted at me. On christmas eve, families were gathered in the restaurant. I saw the happiness on their face but all I felt was loneliness and exhausted. At first two days, I desperately wanted to quit.

At the third day, I attempted to shift my focus. I began to observe everything in the restaurant. I observed customers and thought about how to promote the new dishes. I observed the ordering system in the restaurant and considered how to improve it. I even observed other waitresses to understand their stories. Surprisingly, when my head is occupied with ideas, I was exhausted no more. Afterwards, every day was an adventure to meet new people and learn new things. I felt grateful and satisfied.

163/150

Crystor

Dec 27, 2016

Undergraduate / "How did you do that?", 'I love mathematics' - MIT first two short essays [4]

It seems to me the first artical is not that logical. Since it is easy to fool you, why do you need to satisfy your curiosity? Maybe gradually, your curiosity expanded? But you should write it clearly.

These are some grammar mistakes about the first article.
These words are music for my ears? This sentence is a little bit awkard. How about change it to 'This question is like music for me'?

Since I was little I told the same thing to magicians, it was easy to fool me and honestly I loved that. ---magicians. It was easy to fool me... You can't use comma to connect two sentences.

It was easy to fool me and honestly I loved that. But I wanted to satisfy my curiosity and started to watch magic tricks in slow-motion. --- I loved that, but I wanted.....slow motion.

Crystor

Dec 27, 2016

Undergraduate / Barnard - majored in unafraid - The only girl in Computer Science [8]

--Pick one woman: I can go with Katherine Johnson instead of Helen Keller

I am in favor of Option 2.
Writing different topics can help reviewers know the real you. In every aspects. Instead of only in STEM.

Crystor

Dec 27, 2016

Undergraduate / Duke, Why Trinity? : Program II, availability of choices [5]

Love your work!!! It is absolutely attractive to use sandwiches to explain diversity.

These sentenses look awkward. Maybe they're too casual. It's not how easy they are to make, or the simplicity of the dish that captures my heart. It's the infinite combinations available.

Crystor

Dec 27, 2016

Undergraduate / Tech's motto is Progress and Service. What is your role in your family? Max 150 [4]

@Holt
I want to express I always bring new things to my family. I always taught my parents how to use their phones and computers. I encourage them to learn new things instead of staying in their comfort zone. But I can't find an appropriate way to describe.

So I am thinking that the question mentioned extended family. Can I write about my volunteer experience? The family is that community and the impact would be the volunteer service??

Crystor

Dec 27, 2016

Undergraduate / Being a music software producer is my goal and I hope that GT will help me fulfill it [11]

Furthermore, with 40 hours of 11 distinctive electives, Ph.D. mentors and Cooperative Education, the customisation and flexibility of ECE will give me various opportunities to push my idea much further.

How about this?

Crystor

Dec 27, 2016

Undergraduate / Tech's motto is Progress and Service. What is your role in your family? Max 150 [4]

This is the question: Tech's motto is Progress and Service. We find that students who ultimately have a broad impact first had a significant one at home. What is your role in your immediate or extended family? And how have you seen evidence of your impact on them?

nice and neat home

The English books were thrown on the refrigerator and under the sofa. The dumbbell has grown rust in the corner. I found my parents gradually losing the passion of life when my mom stopped learning English and my father gave up working out. Wondering why, I looked around the room and suddenly realized - our living place was really messy. How can we live a passionate life when living in a mess?

Therefore, I decided to change the situation. Spending a whole morning arranging and organizing, I made function zone notes, stuck them to each area and swept all over my back. I persuaded my parents to help me put stuff in order.

By nightfall, standing together in our nice and neat home, we felt excited instead of exhausted. Understanding that maintaining a clean home is the foundation for an organized life, we promised to keep this custom in the future.

'I learned new words about food today!' 'And I went hiking!' I brought motivation back to my family.

Crystor

Dec 27, 2016

Undergraduate / Being a music software producer is my goal and I hope that GT will help me fulfill it [11]

... and make changes happen. {I don't really like this last sentence - it sort of sounds like you want to change Georgia Tech}

Thank you sooooo much!! I have made the correction you provided!!
customisation and flexibility of Georgia Tech...... I wrote about the example afterwards. I don't know how to write this sentence more specific because I can only write 150 words....

I still think this essay is not passionate enough to attract the admission office. What do you think?? Do you think it is too plain?

Crystor

Dec 27, 2016

Undergraduate / Being a music software producer is my goal and I hope that GT will help me fulfill it [11]

@LoneLee
I rewrote it.

There are no limits what Georgia Tech students can design. As a girl who is talented in Music but passionate about computer, Georgia Tech is definitely the perfect place for me. The unique minor Music Technology first caught my attention because I always want to make a software to recognise melodies and create music automatically. Great professors such as Alexander Lerch，Jason Freeman, Gil Weinberg can surly provide me enough knowledge regarding music theory to support the development of this idea. Furthermore, I appreciate the customisation and flexibility of Georgia Tech, which means I will have various opportunities to push my idea even further with the assistance of ECE faculties, Ph.D. mentors and student organisations. For instance, I could join in the CREAT-X program to develop my entrepreneurial confidence to better establish startups. I can even establish a new club about music, artificial intelligence and VR. I believe I can become a problem-solver and make changes happen.

Crystor

Dec 26, 2016

Undergraduate / Being a music software producer is my goal and I hope that GT will help me fulfill it [11]

It is the revised version.
There are no limits what Georgia Tech students can design. As a girl who is talented in Music but dedicates to making a software, Georgia Tech is definitely the perfect place for me. Specifically, the software I want to develop could analyse a melody that user sings and write a whole song automatically. In this way, the kid I taught in Online English Volunteer program, my teammate ...

Crystor

Dec 26, 2016

Undergraduate / Being a music software producer is my goal and I hope that GT will help me fulfill it [11]

Beyond rankings, location, and athletics, why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech? max 150

Music Technology to me

My aspiration is making a music software. When users hum a melody, my software could analyse it and write a whole song automatically. In this way, the kid I taught in Online English Volunteer program, my teammate in the software optimisation program can write songs without spending time and money learning music. Normal people who can't afford any midi board, instruments or studio can write music in a minute. After I told my idea to a P.h.D in Georgia Tech, he immediately recommended his major Music Technology to me. Surprisingly, this unique major will open to undergraduates as a minor. I am sure I can fully develop my interest.

There are no limits what Georgia Tech students can design. Studying in the best engineering college, prototyping my ideas in the Invention Studio, doing Student Intern, I will gain real-world experiences and thrive in the campus.