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"How did you do that?", 'I love mathematics' - MIT first two short essays


rnsnz18 10 / 33 4  
Dec 27, 2016   #1
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words limit)

"How did you do that?" , these words are music for my ears. Since I was little I told the same thing to magicians, it was easy to fool me and honestly I loved that. But I wanted to satisfy my curiosity and started to watch magic tricks in slow-motion. Anyone can be amazed by how many tricks have a mathematical explanation instead of a "sleight of hand". Unravel magic tricks and then master their performance became a passion for me. Now I have the pleasure to transmit the same sensation that I felt when I was younger to other people.

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (*) (100 words or fewer

I love mathematics, my whole life I've been involved in activities related to this subject. Through my participation in competitions I've been interested in the combinatorial problems and conferences offered by famous mathematicians like "The mathematics of Doodling" by Professor Ravi Vakil on the IMO Lecture. Talking with him and contestants from other countries I've found myself immersed in the maths world, which is why I'd love to be part of your Mathematics Department in applied combinatorics. I find very exciting how your UROP can help me to obtain experience and make contributions in the field before even graduating.

I find a little hard these essays because they have to be very short, I feel like I don't transmit the excitement I have about magic and mathematics in the essays, any advice will be very appreciated it!
Crystor 3 / 10 1  
Dec 27, 2016   #2
It seems to me the first artical is not that logical. Since it is easy to fool you, why do you need to satisfy your curiosity? Maybe gradually, your curiosity expanded? But you should write it clearly.

These are some grammar mistakes about the first article.
These words are music for my ears? This sentence is a little bit awkard. How about change it to 'This question is like music for me'?

Since I was little I told the same thing to magicians, it was easy to fool me and honestly I loved that. ---magicians. It was easy to fool me... You can't use comma to connect two sentences.

It was easy to fool me and honestly I loved that. But I wanted to satisfy my curiosity and started to watch magic tricks in slow-motion. --- I loved that, but I wanted.....slow motion.
Shamsher sing 3 / 9  
Dec 27, 2016   #3
Though am not an expart i would love to suggest something for your 2nd essay.
Your essay is pretty good actually. Specially I can see your efforts.you almost pointed everything within this word limit which is really great job but as it's limited with only 100 words. You might avoid the sentence like " I love mathematics" . Because all other applicant will say the same even it's usual that u love this subject , otherwise you wouldn't have apply for it. Tell something passionate about which the reader expact to see in you. Like you can say what makes you love this subject. Sentence like "my whole life....." Kinda illogical because during your childhood you might know nothing about it. You can replace this sentence with something unique statement which will make you different from other applicants.
OP rnsnz18 10 / 33 4  
Dec 27, 2016   #4
@Crystor
I really appreciate your grammar corrections, english it's not my native language so I can have mistakes sometimes, I'll try to make it more logical and transmit better my idea of satisfy my curiosity about magic. Besides this little corrections, do you think that the overall essay it's a good approach for the prompt?, I really love magic and I hope it can be sensed by my essay, also it matches some things about my application about how curious I am and my passion for problem solving.

@Shamsher sing
Thanks for your suggestions, It's really good to hear that you liked the essay. You don't know how much time I spent figuring out which words to cut on the essay that I never thought the phrases you suggested to change had to be cutted as well. I would change it to more passionate sentences and things that no other applicant would say, Than you very much!


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