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Posts by sfiza [Suspended]
Name: fiZa
Joined: Apr 13, 2017
Last Post: Apr 28, 2018
Threads: 17
Posts: 28  
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From: United States of America
School: Biose state university

Displayed posts: 45 / page 2 of 2
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sfiza   
Sep 11, 2017
Writing Feedback / The portion of those who own devices by four different categories in Vietnam during 6-year period [6]

hi@tan_hao_hcmut

The line graph illustrates the portion (...) different types the proportion of ownership of devices in Vietnam during the 6-year period ... always introduction will be simple sentence and give main trend in here

Overall, (...) over the time in questiontime in question period, with the (...) CD player and Tablet occupied least.

... around 10% but soared this word is commonly used for significant changes like rise from 20% to 70% chant during the next 2 years to ...
... figures for CD player were around 60% and just above 82% respectively.

In contrast, there were some fluctuations ... a significant changes in the use of mobile in the timeline.
sfiza   
Sep 11, 2017
Writing Feedback / Human history has been a journey from ignorance to knowledge [3]

Some people think that human history has been a journey from ignorance to knowledge. Others argue that this underestimate the achievement of ancient cultures, and overvalues our achievements. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

modern vs ancient culture



The modern world is more sophisticated than the ancient world. While this statement is commonly believed by some people, others don't agree .I realize that the feat of ancient is basis of current developments and globe with high-technology leads human race today.

People of ancient cultures made a numerous innovations and discoveries .Using fire and making languages is remarkable of them. Even the technology to build the Pyramids of Egypt is landmark in the present world. This analogy applies to all facilities enjoyed by the current culture. Admittedly, People had the knowledge they needed to understand and deal with their world in the past. However; one should not forget that whatever that is available today is actually a progressive evolution of what was showed in the past.

It is fact that the contemporary world has witnessed technological advancement. These are seen in almost all facets of life which directly or indirectly benefit the mankind. For instance, Robots are employed to perform minor surgical procedures and treatments in the medical field that is not possible in the past , Such developments make people think that current generation is more gifted than and superior to people of the past.

To conclude, earlier developments become a stepping stone for current generation. This trend induces tremendous modernism for human. Although people are in the peak of human civilization now with hi-tech, I feel that the establishment of this civil world is based on the inventions and discoveries of yesterday.
sfiza   
May 19, 2017
Writing Feedback / It is high time to encourage different sources of energy all over the world [3]

please give me your valuable suggestion to get band 7+ in my writing.

Governments should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?


dependency on fossil fuels



Nowadays, the growing population and the technological advancements lead the high level of consumption of energy. While the volume of source of energy is reducing, emission of carbon dioxide is increasing with the excessive use of the energy. In this phenomenon or case, I believe that governments must pay attention for other ways of producing energy to save existing energy sources and environment.

The fact is that fossil fuels like oil, coal, and natural gas are limited. Every day, these fuels meet the increasing demand of energy used in industries, agriculture, households, producing electricity, and so on. Consequently, the risk of energy security is going up significantly. It can be easily predicted that increasing consumption of energy will soon deplete the natural sources of energy. So, decision makers around the world have to acknowledge the concern of decreasing the fuels and should explore substitutes of it.

The main reason for the alarming rise in global warming is the usage of fuels for vehicles and factories. The impact of the warming is melting of ice-mountains in north polls, rising of sea level; more floods in some countries while droughts in the other part of the world, and so on. Thus, all living things will be in danger in the near future. Therefore, authorities have to explore other type of fuels from the wind, the sea and the sun which does not pollute the environment and is an everlasting source of power.

To conclude, dependency on fossil fuels is not only the main reason of the scarcity of energy, but also Greenhouse gas emission. If the tendency will continue to go up, then it might not save natural resources and atmosphere. Although some government is introducing new sources of power to their community, I suppose that it is high time to encourage different sources of energy all over the world
sfiza   
Apr 24, 2017
Writing Feedback / Having a gap-year is more and more common in recent years. IELTS Writing Task 2 [6]

Dear@benz0127

I would like to give some suggestion to improve your writing.

Introduction is not properly paraphrase. you can paraphrase it changing word and sentence structures.

always use clear one topic sentence in each paragraph, then develop the paragraph with range of complex or compound sentences.

need to write a conclusion containing at least three sentences.

I hope it help you your next writing

keep writing :)
sfiza   
Apr 22, 2017
Writing Feedback / New medicines on the market at the expense of animals [3]

please give me your valuable suggestion to get band 7+ in my writing.

NOWADAYS ANIMAL EXPERIMENTS ARE WIDELY USED TO DEVELOP NEW MEDICINES AND TO TEST THE SAFETY OF OTHER PRODUCTS. SOME PEOPLE ARGUE THAT THESE EXPERIMENTS SHOULD BE BANNED BECAUSE IT IS MORALLY WRONG TO CAUSE ANIMALS TO SUFFER, WHILE OTHERS ARE IN FAVOUR OF THEM BECAUSE OF THEIR BENEFITS TO HUMANITY.

DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

Animals are being used in medical researchers these days. Such researches are hold up by some people, while others are more care about animal right. Though I feel the statement that animal testing is morally wrong, I would have to go for limiting the amount of animal experimentation because of well-being of humankind.

As living creatures, Animals have right to enjoy their lives in peace. If the animals are continuously used for medicine researches, they will become be exploited. . For example, as monkeys have a 98% identical DNA structure to ours, they are tested by new drug to measure the effectiveness of the drug. These activities not only hurt the animals, but also may destroy the balance of nature. Opponents of such research argue that humans have no right to subject animals to different kind of trauma, so scientists should use alternative methods of research.

However, for the great benefits in medical sector, it may hard to find a suitable substitute for animal experimentation. If the researches purpose for inventing medicines are stopped for banning testing on animals, so how it will possible to invent new medicine for the demand of time. For this reason, opponents of such research need to feel a necessary evil when their loved one might need a medical treatment that had been developed through the use of animal experimentation. I personally feel that the use of animals should be banned for non-medical products, but I believe that it should be limited the amunt of animals testing for medicine researches.

If medicine and medical procedure are concerned, animals testing ls is badly needed because of the lake of alternative methods. Despite of moral and ethical issue, animal experimentation are ongoing for that reason. It seems to me it would be better to limit the use of animals instead of banning the testing on animals.

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