Posts by nguyenquan

nguyenquan

Aug 9, 2017

Writing Feedback / Study and other activities in student life [3]

Dear Holt, many thanks for your useful advice, it helps me a lot. I re-wrote the essay and hope to receive your comments

Nowadays, high academic achievement give students more opportunities for their work in the future. As a results, students try to study as hard as possible, thus they have less time for other useful activities. Some people believe that it is better to encourage students to do some activities beside studying. I totally agree with this opinion

Activities is really necessary for student life. Firstly, useful knowledge we gain in universities is not the only factor (...) Secondly, students show their responsibilities for community through their valuable activities. For example, students can spend their free time time to help the old in local area, these activities is the best way not only to ease theri loneliness, but also to enhance student's sympathy and compassion. Finally, activities keep students more active by providing them chances to express their creativity and preventing them from being bookworms.

Overall, activities should be consider as (...)

nguyenquan

Aug 8, 2017

Writing Feedback / Study and other activities in student life [3]

Full time university students spend most of the time studying. They should be doing other activities too
To what extend do you agree or disagree.

balance between study and other activities

Nowadays, the higher the academic achievement is, the more opportunities for work we have. Thus, students in universities try to study as hard as possible. It is not a negative trend, however, the amount of time for other activities is also reduced. This essay will point out the importance of both study and other activities.

There is no doubt about how useful knowledge we gain in universities influences our lives. In term of working in a fiercely competitive environment, the opportunities only belong to people who get greater learning than any others. In addition, person who spends more time to study will receive better level of university leaving certificate which can decide how much salary they earn. Furthermore, students usually have approximate 4 or 5 years in university to gain an enormous amount of knowledge in their areas then use most of their learning through the latter part of lives. This period of time is not enough for students to study, much less other activities.

In contrast, knowledge we gain in university is not the only factor which ensures our success, but skills we learn from other activities may be much more important. Knowledge shows the ability to remember and understand while skills demonstrate how we deal with problems in actual work. The best way to learn skill is participating in useful activities. For instance, playing sports such as soccer or volleyball can improve working in group skill, helping the poor can enhance our sympathy and compassion. In addition, students show their responsibilities for community through their valuable activities.

Overall, activities should be consider as important as study for students in university. A wise student needs to balance time between study and other activities perfectly to gain not only broad range of knowledge but also necessary skills for their future.

nguyenquan

Aug 8, 2017

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2 : technology provides opportunities as much as damages [4]

Dear smvicp, here are my private opinions on your essay
- your essay contains 5 paragraphs, the first and the last is introduction and conclusion, these are quite good. However, I think the body of your essay will be better if it is divided into to only two parts, one for advantages of technology and one for disavantages. Moreover, some ideas are hard to follow because it is wriiten in very complexed sentences, such as " for instance, seldom..."

- I think there are some mistakes:
people can see each other lower the the past --> people spend less time to see each other than in the past, instead they communicate by myriad tools

The debate.... will be never finish --> will never finish

nguyenquan

Aug 4, 2017

Writing Feedback / Toefl Writing, Television should be used to instruct people rather than to entertain them [4]

Your essay is constructed in a logic way. However, I think, there are some mistakes:
1) Most of the people nowadays find something to relax --> "most people" is more suitable because it is not refer to any specific group of people

2) they are usually pressured by their work, study or relation --> " pressured" in this sentence is used as a verb, which means strongly persuade someone to do something they don't want, so it is better to use it as a noun in this sentence: " they are usually under pressure on their work, study and relations (relation should be used in plural form)

3)At that time TV helps my mom forget the stress she got from the work and recharge herself --> it is better to use past perfect: .... shehad gottenfrom... recharge -->recharged.

4) I personally think the verb " interest" is more suitable than " attract" when it is used for broadcaster

nguyenquan

Jul 29, 2017

Writing Feedback / IELTS: how do you find the phenomenon of working mothers and fathers dealing with household duties? [2]

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

changing roles of woman and men in the family

Nowadays, there is a small change in roles of mothers and fathers: instead of being primary caretakers of familial needs, women tend to find a worthy position in the workplace while their husbands tend to stay at home and do the majority of housework. Achievements in gender equality may place special responsibility for this tendency. However, for any reason whatsoever, this trend is indispensable to promote sustainable social development.

The hidden reason behind this change should be related to sexual equality. Some success in women's fight for equal opportunities has changed their thoughts. They make up the majority of professional workers in many countries, even some areas in science and technology, traditionally considered to be man's domain, now belong to women. They earn higher salaries, are able to provide for family and as a result, they soon reject the traditional notion of women as stay-at-home mothers. In contrast, modern society also gives men more chance to be connected with family by sharing housework with their busy wives and even taking care of their children - the act which is not usually expected in traditional men.

In my opinion, I totally agree with this development. This does not mean our notions of men's and women's role will be changed completely in the future. Men are still providers and protectors, women are still nurturers, however, nobody can prohibit a man from taking care of children and a women from helping her husband to earn money. This tendency gives all people, regardless of their sexes, the same opportunities to develop their own abilities. Moreover, this trend breaks all backward notions and makes both men and women to be more responsibility for their families.

Overall, change in women's and men's roles in family is essential for social development. There are many reasons to explain this tendency, however, gender equality is the major part. We should encourage this because of all advantages in raising the human rights and creating a better society.