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IELTS: how do you find the phenomenon of working mothers and fathers dealing with household duties?

nguyenquan 2 / 3 1  
Jul 29, 2017   #1
These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

changing roles of woman and men in the family

Nowadays, there is a small change in roles of mothers and fathers: instead of being primary caretakers of familial needs, women tend to find a worthy position in the workplace while their husbands tend to stay at home and do the majority of housework. Achievements in gender equality may place special responsibility for this tendency. However, for any reason whatsoever, this trend is indispensable to promote sustainable social development.

The hidden reason behind this change should be related to sexual equality. Some success in women's fight for equal opportunities has changed their thoughts. They make up the majority of professional workers in many countries, even some areas in science and technology, traditionally considered to be man's domain, now belong to women. They earn higher salaries, are able to provide for family and as a result, they soon reject the traditional notion of women as stay-at-home mothers. In contrast, modern society also gives men more chance to be connected with family by sharing housework with their busy wives and even taking care of their children - the act which is not usually expected in traditional men.

In my opinion, I totally agree with this development. This does not mean our notions of men's and women's role will be changed completely in the future. Men are still providers and protectors, women are still nurturers, however, nobody can prohibit a man from taking care of children and a women from helping her husband to earn money. This tendency gives all people, regardless of their sexes, the same opportunities to develop their own abilities. Moreover, this trend breaks all backward notions and makes both men and women to be more responsibility for their families.

Overall, change in women's and men's roles in family is essential for social development. There are many reasons to explain this tendency, however, gender equality is the major part. We should encourage this because of all advantages in raising the human rights and creating a better society.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,648 4752  
Jul 29, 2017   #2
Quan, excellent reasoning discussion. Bad opening statement. You almost had the opening statement perfected, except that you fouled up the presentation of the discussion instruction and the opinion presentation. The discussion sentence of the opening statement should have read:

... This essay will discuss the reasons for this development as well as my thoughts as to whether this is a positive or negative development.

Then the first paragraph should have opened with:

I think that the trend of having the father stay at home is a positive event because...

Since your discussion of the positive or negative development of having father's stay at home is the central theme of the essay, you must present that at the very start. That will be anchor of the whole discussion that you will be presenting so the reader needs to know that opinion from the second paragraph onward.

Your conclusion is also not in accordance with the requirements. It should have said:

The trend of having fathers stay home while the mothers work is not a negative development. This is something that proves the equality of the sexes. As such, it should be deemed a positive development for our society.

Always remember, the conclusion is not a continuation of the discussion. It is the ending of the topic presentation. So the fact that you continued the discussion instead of summarizing the content in order to end it means that you did not follow the appropriate parameters for the essay development.

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