Writing Feedback / EastSouth Area Condition - TOEFL; cloud seeding can reduce the hail from forming [2]

This is a practice of TOEFL integrated essay. Thanks to whomever will fix this article for me, (Note: next time a useless title = suspension)

the article about controlling precipitation

The listening context totally refutes the reading passage about the concept of "cloud seeding." Cloud seeding is a way to reduce damage from hail, which fall from the sky and destroy crops in the field.

To begin with, the article uses laboratory experiments to prove cloud seeding can reduce the hail from forming. Though the speaker admits it might be useful in the laboratory, she also points out this experiment cannot apply in real life. She indicates that cloud seeding may result in lack of water since it stops the forming of cloud or snow.

Secondly, the author illustrates a successful case in Asia by controlling precipitation in urban areas. On the contrary, the speaker argues the experience of Asia cannot be reprouduced in the U.S. since it only works in urban area. She also holds that pollution air from cars in the city could build a favorable environment for cloud seeding, which is not suitable for unpolluted region in the agricultural field in the U.S..

Thirdly, the author states that comparing to previous years, the area used cloud seeding has less damages. Nevertheless, the speaker opposes this by arguing in the neighboring eastsouth area also has the same condition. She thinks this is a natural variation, and has nothing to do with the cloud seeding.

Writing Feedback / Chinese Civil War. Major historical events have powerful impact to people. [3]

What historical event in your country has had a major effect on your country?

Chinese Civil War influence on the Taiwanese people

Major historical events have powerful impact to people. These events change the direction of things originally might be, affecting families, causing injuries and deaths, producing happiness and sadness. To me, Chinese Civil War in 1949 had most immense affection of People in Taiwan. There are several reasons I feel this way.

First, the war separated Republic of China (Taiwan) and PRC. The dispute of which country can represent "China" continued until PRC successfully replaced ROC's position in UN in 1979. Till now, the tension between two sides and the unclear status of ROC (Taiwan) trouble foreign and economic policy in Taiwan. For example, former President Ma Ying Jio had formed an economic development policy and ease tension in order to facilitate the trade exchange on both sides. However, his predecessor, President Tsai Ying Wen, tried to keep Taiwan's independence, and develop the "Southern Development Policy," which tried to reconstruct the relations with Southeast Asia countries. Politics is not always predictable, but the vague status of Taiwan worsen the situation.

Second, the war kept people in PRC and Taiwan separated and leaded different life. PRC is a communism country, while Taiwan is capitalism; PRC is Autocratic, while Taiwan is democracy. Some soilders followed the KMT army flee to Taiwan in 1949, but they never thought they couldn't go back their homeland again. Most of them get married again, and raised their children like an exiled person. For example, my grandfather is one of these old soilders. When I was a kid, I often see him sit silent and look out of the window, sapping with tears. He told me he misses his family in Mainland. The war not only affect my grandfather, according to the statics from Taiwan government, there are over 5,000,000 KMT soilders moved into Taiwan because of the war.

War itself is a tragedy. We are lucky persons to live in a peace time. Hope this kind of historical event would not happen once again.

Writing Feedback / Working while studying pfenomenon. [3]

Do you agree/disagree that teenagers should work part time job?

benefits of working while studying

Working while studying may be a reluctant choice for some budget limited students. To me, on the contrary, it can not only larger people's life, but also strengthen people's personalities. My views are mainly based on several reasons below.

First, people always say "knowledge is power", but we cannot learn everything in the class. When working in a coffee shop, students can be trained to be a coffee master. For example, one of my high school classmates loves surfing. He worked in a surf club on summer vacation. He was trained to be a surfing coach and got a license. Now he becomes a professional surfing athlete.

Second, students can make new friends and have a little deposit through part time jobs. Friend made when working would have the same interest in one area. That is, they could be ideal partners if students want to start a business after graduation. Furthermore, the money they earned can be a foundation of their career.

Consequently, the benefit of working while studying is quite obvious. Thus, I can't agree more with students should work part jobs.