Writing Feedback / Economic progress? Government should support its own citizens and their basic needs [2]

Here is the topic:

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Here is my answer:

people need money to survive

Nowadays, the economic play an important part in our life, it also makes the government put the economic progress as a first goal. However, some people think that other types of progress are equally important to compare to the economic progress. In this essay, I am going to discuss both of these views.

The reason why the government put the economic progress at first goal is because money is the basic needed for people to survive. For instance, people need money to pay the food, bill or other fees. Furthermore, people can also use the money to enhance their life quality, such as buying a new car, house or having a travel. So it is very clear that money can increase people's satisfaction with life, and it might also enhance the satisfaction for the government.

However, there are also have some people suggest that the government should also put other types of progress as a first goal because they are both important for the country development, for example, health care, education, or transport system are also fundamental development for a country. For instance, a full development country should keep these types of progress and economic progress in balance and create a friendly environment for people.

Overall, I think it is very important to satisfy the people's basic needed of life and also enhance the life quality, these are all about the economic progress and they are all should be priority things for the government. On the other hand, it is also very hard to process the other types of progress if the government did not fully develop the economic progress first. Therefore, it is necessary that the government put the economic progress as the most important goal before other types of progress.

Thanks for everyone who is willing to spend your time in my essay, because I am going to take the test in this Saturday, so I wonder about the score.

If you could give me a general score that will be very nice, thank you so much and I will keep learning my writing skill.

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: teaching children a special skill to tell the right and wrong [3]

Here is the topic:

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

understanding the distinction between right and wrong

Answer:
In fact, the skill to tell right and wrong comes from experience and good parenting, However, a lot of people also argue that punish is a necessary action to help them recognize the distinction between right or wrong. In my opinion, punish did not really help early children to understand. Therefore, I have to disagree almost all the given statement.

It is very wrong and foolish if you punished a very young child because they did not understand what happened and why they get punished. However, once the children are reached a certain age, the parent can start to give a rewarded for a good behavior or discourage for a bad action. To using this way will be better than just harsh punishments and even have more positive impact. Meanwhile, the way to discourage them should be not bring the physical punish or inappropriate word. In addition, it will be better if parent or teacher trying to present the right action for them and give them the positive message though the action.

On the other hand, it is also helpful if teacher and parent also becomes a good model because an early age children will neutrally fallow the adult. Therefore; to showing the right behaviors for the children from the begging is easier than trying to correct them.

Overall, teacher and parents should show the good behavior and remember to give a reward to encourage child, so the punishment will become unnecessary and may also let them understand the distinction between right and wrong.

Thanks for everyone who trying to help my essay, I really really appreciate you and your valued time. Thank you so much :)).

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Many workers change jobs frequently these days because of different expectations [5]

Here is the topic

People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for same company, while others prefer to change jobs frequently. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

Here is my answer:

reasons for changing work places

Many workers change jobs frequently in these days and they think that changing jobs leads to more opportunities. Meanwhile, the other people believe that staying in the same jobs is a better choice.

One of the benefits of staying in one job increases the job security because changing jobs always means losing the stable income or moving house. To stay in one job is also means that you can avoid these problems. Another benefit to not changing job is that you can gain more experience and also increase your salary. The company may increase the salary as a reward or even give the promotion. On the other hand, those people who often change jobs may do not have enough experience to get the same salary compared to the people who stay in the same job for a long time.

However, there are also have some benefit of changing jobs. One of the benefits is that worker can learn more skill because working in the different company also means that learning more different kind of skills. Meanwhile, to change jobs can also bring some new challenge compared to not change the job, because new things can always enhance the people's motivation and keep the job flash. The last advantage is these kinds of people are seems as more confident and well-rounded because of facing the new things or learning the new skill.

In my opinion, to change jobs once in a while it means more benefit and is also a way to keep the life flash, and it is also another opportunities to challenge myself and learn more skill through the job.