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Posts by spartan1
Name: aspiring Doctor
Joined: Sep 24, 2017
Last Post: Mar 11, 2019
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: Pakistan
School: AMC

Displayed posts: 5
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spartan1   
Mar 11, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2- Advantages and Disadvantages of Nursing homes for the Elderly [2]

Long-term care for older people



Kindly Someone Evaluate my essay on these four defined criteria.
1- task response
2- coherence and cohesion
3- lexical resource
4- grammatical range and accuracy

Many Elderly People are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend ?

It is increasingly common nowadays for families to send their elderly relatives to live in nursing homes, rather than take care of them at home. This Essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks of this inclination.

To begin with the positives, a crucial advantage that nursing homes have is that they are well equipped and provide professional care. Their personnel are educated in field of geriatrics and know how to deal with the needs of the elderly as well as reacting appropriately in case of any emergency. In contrast, family of these old people are rarely trained and are not equipped with knowledge in case any mishap occurs. Besides professional care , nursing homes also have a proper system to ensure timely administration of medicines and record is also kept in case for future reference.

Nevertheless, Elderly people do face some problems in nursing homes. For instance, many of them start feeling depressed and left out by their families. This is because they are rarely visited by their family members and often miss out on family functions. Another significant disadvantage is that they mostly live in an environment surrounded by sick people. This leads to increased chances of contracting infectious diseases as majority of the old people have comparatively weakened immune systems.

In conclusion, although nursing homes are beneficial in terms of Professional care and up to date system of medicine administration and record keeping, it is important to consider that they also cause some old people to feel lonely and depressed and also increase their chances on infection.
spartan1   
Mar 3, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1. How to build your own water clock. [3]

you have written an adequate answer for Task 1. however, try to give a description in the first paragraph then in the 2nd para give the general overview or the summary of the whole topic then in the next two body paragraphs elaborate on the steps one by one. Good Luck :)
spartan1   
Sep 25, 2017
Scholarship / Becoming a successful doctor. Personal statement for Ugrad Scholarship programme. [3]

@Holt
thank you very much for your valuable and detailed advice. means alot.
i just wanted to clarify somethings. firstly this is a personal statement for USEFP global ugrad exchange program for one semester and they require a statement according to the following criteria.

Yourself in terms of interests and personality,
Your academic objectives,
Your goals in terms of your field of study and personal development,
The reasons you wish to pursue them in U.S.A., and the type of program you hope to pursue and how it relates to your interests and future objectives

Moreover i read around 15 of the personal statements of different people who actually got selected and went to the US. their statements had somewhat the same division of content. so i dont understand how should i change it to a light heartened approach.

With all this being said can you please help me on how to start the first paragraph with a lightened approach ?
spartan1   
Sep 25, 2017
Scholarship / Becoming a successful doctor. Personal statement for Ugrad Scholarship programme. [3]

Ugrad Scholarship programme personal statement



hello guys. i have written a personal statement for the Ugrad Scholorship programme. can someone please check it and give their valuable suggestions on the mistakes and how to improve it. thanks

Being born and raised in a region which has been significantly affected by terrorism since last decade, and going through very grievous experiences, I was motivated to choose the field of medicine from a very tender age. Years of academic devotion and hard work finally paid off when I landed in one of the top medical institutes of the country. I have an ambitious and socially proactive personality that helps me blend with people very easily. I love trekking, playing sports and making new friends. In my life, I have developed a very deep sense of sympathizing with people in agony and pain, and trying to help them has become more of an innate response.

A lot of my time is spent on social work. I have organized various free medical camps in the remote areas of my province along with career counselling sessions and cultural shows for my juniors at the university. I am also a senior member of a student organization the arranges cancer and thalassemia awareness programs, blood and volunteer camps in case of calamities and helping with the school expenses of poor children.

By becoming a successful doctor, I want to create awareness among people about diseases like cancer, thalassemia and leukemia that are prevalent in our society and guide them on how to effectively prevent and treat them. Going to the US will provide me a Golden opportunity to get an insight of the ways the best health care system in the world functions in tackling the diseases with the most up to date techniques. Moreover, I will be able to represent my diverse culture and clear the misconceptions about my country while also learning on how the US system motivates a good majority of their people to take part in social work activities and implement them back home.
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