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Posts by zhayendzuji
Name: Florina
Joined: Jan 23, 2018
Last Post: Feb 6, 2018
Threads: 2
Posts: 11  
Likes: 4
From: Philippines
School: CMU

Displayed posts: 13
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zhayendzuji   
Feb 6, 2018
Scholarship / Battling with the negative effects of climate change for further efficiency in swine industry [4]

Thank you very much for spending your time pointing out my grammatical errors because honestly, I really didn't notice them while writing this essay. :) As for the missing articles, I intended not to put them as I was thinking it would lengthen the whole essay. But I'll try to incorporate them as you've said. Thank you again! :)
zhayendzuji   
Feb 6, 2018
Writing Feedback / Face to face communication will become a thing of the past. Opinion essay. [5]

Jim, you do not start your sentence with which. You can incorporate that in the previous sentence or start with This leads to some believefs..

One primary reason why facial...
...to persuade people's belief
...business meetings are required
Finally, Aa...
for instance, a software that's designed...other's during conversation
helps the skills of storytelling to be credible = enhances credibility through storytelling
There is an ongoing trend that more and more people connect...

Your opinion is very sensible, I totally agree with you. Maybe you can keep short sentences so you can express your thought clearly since word count is limited.
zhayendzuji   
Feb 5, 2018
Scholarship / Battling with the negative effects of climate change for further efficiency in swine industry [4]

KGSP Goal of study and study plan



Hello! here I am again, posting another essay for my KGSP Goal of study and study plan, hoping that you guys can help me improve this. Thanks you very much for spending your precious time reading and correcting my work.

Battling with the negative effects of climate change for further efficiency in swine industry

Heat stress has detrimental effects on the performance and welfare of pigs especially to modern strains with high growth and reproductive potentials, it compromises food security and self-sufficiency. It is a challenge not only in tropical and subtropical areas but also in temperate regions. During heat stress, pigs reduce their appetite to reduce their heat production and this results in the decrease of growth in growing-finishing pigs and reproductive performance in sows. Hence, this will be the focus of my research if I'll be given opportunity to pursue a Master's Degree in Animal Science and Biotechnology at Seoul National University.

During my undergraduate studies, my field of specialization was production and management. Through that, I was able to appreciate the importance of good management practices in improving the productivity and profitability of swine enterprise. While working, I got exposed to different pig farm settings. Swine subsector is the second largest among the agricultural sectors in the Philippines, with backyard farms dominating in the total hog population. What was commonly considered as big challenge for both scale was the negative effects of climate change. Daytime temperature in top producing regions ranges from 26 to 38 °C while relative humidity, 69 to 84 percent. These conditions would normally cause heat stress to pigs especially that they lack functional sweat glands. Commercial farms can afford tunnel ventilation technology to reduce building ambient temperature but that is not the case for backyard farms.

Although hog production is increasing annually, further efficiency and productivity may be achieved if heat stress can be alleviated. In my research, I would like to either explore genetic selection to improve heat tolerance or nutritional modification to reduce dietary heat increment and increase dietary nutrient density. Climate change will likely increase the average ambient temperatures in the future and will just worsen heat stress problems unless our pigs develop a mechanism to adapt quickly and naturally to abrupt temperature changes. I will apply all the principles that I can acquire from studying the Program in Animal Science and Biotechnology to lessen the negative effects of heat stress in pigs. This research will benefit not only commercial farms but also backyard farms in temperate and tropical areas.

All these will be done during my academic years in Korea. I believe that conducting this research will be fruitful with the aid of Seoul National University's advanced biotechnology information, expertise and facilities, including their partner research institutes. After conducting this research in Korea, I will publish the paper. I am also going to validate the results in the Philippine setting and make contribution to my country's economy.
zhayendzuji   
Feb 5, 2018
Graduate / Why am I interested in Climate Science and Policy [2]

tree plantation
While in working with
incorporated touted --> you used two verbs, choose the most appropriate one or you may rephrase the sentence
is what drew my attention = has drawn my attention
to identify... ???

Sam, it excites me reading your essay as we have the same problem in our study. That is, climate change. This truly is a global problem that not only affects one industry. Anyway, since you did not write specific prompts, let me assume that you are writing a general SOP format.

It's good that you have every detail how you arrived at a decision to pursue this program. And your topic is very relevant to what we need right now. However, try to reduce the word count even if there's no limitation given. Remember, you are submitting your essay to strangers who will read hundreds of SOPs so it would be more effective if you write your SOP in a relatively short but concise manner, including your strong points. All the best!
zhayendzuji   
Feb 1, 2018
Student Talk / How to improve English writing? Learning through reading. [130]

Start with the basics. Read a wide variety of materials that interest you. Watch English movies and slowly build up your vocabulary by highlighting new words and looking their definition in the dictionary. Try to converse in English daily and try to learn new words and phrases. When you have established a little, try to learn complicated words and phrases. And use them everyday, whether through writing or speaking.
zhayendzuji   
Jan 31, 2018
Undergraduate / Previous academic experiences and explanation for desire to transfer to Maryland [4]

@isaacabe
Your essay is concise and it tells all your plans. However, you may need to mention details of your research plan, how ECE at UMD is an excellent institution to go to so you can achieve your research.

Also, be careful of your grammar. You may need to rephrase some sentences so transition of ideas is smooth.
zhayendzuji   
Jan 31, 2018
Writing Feedback / Over packaged products and its implications PTE [3]

over packaged products

I somewhat agree with you on that matter. Packaging really helps extend the shelf life of the products especially food items.
As you've said, most packages these days are recyclable and biodegradable so it lessens the negative impact to our environment.
However, over packaging food items which you can consume immediately is a bit annoying. Also, it's a waste of resources, and probably will add cost.

Of course there are some exemptions. When shipping products to distant locations, I would prefer my product to arrive free from defects and spillage. So for me, it depends on the sensitivity of the items. I am not against over packaging. And for me, it is the responsibility of the producer because it's them who will do the packaging. If just packaging is enough to protect the product, then why over package?
zhayendzuji   
Jan 29, 2018
Scholarship / Illustrate how the programme will contribute to you Home Country Benefit [5]

@Godluck
I understand your passion for wildlife conservation but for this essay, you need to make a strong impression that will make you look enticing as a good candidate. You want to be an expert, to plan outputs for the developments of your projects and research field but you are telling the CSC to maintain close contact so they can monitor your contributions. I think it should be you who would approach them, not the other way around. And, you may mention also concrete plans you have in mind so that the panel will have an idea of what you really want to do after the program.
zhayendzuji   
Jan 23, 2018
Student Talk / Top Most Engineering Colleges in Bangalore [7]

Priya, as I am not from Bangalore, I googled top engineering colleges in Bangalore and tried to compare the list from different sites based on their recent ratings. I hope this helps.

MS Ramaiah Institute of Technology - Top 45 out of 100
RV College of Engineering - Top 49 out of 100
BMS College of Engineering
PES University
BMS Institute of Technology and Management
Indian Institute of Science
JAIN University
zhayendzuji   
Jan 23, 2018
Scholarship / You must provide a statement explaining how their proposed study relates to a development need. You [3]

Steph, I think your essay is good but I cannot determine whether you are writing a goal of study or self-introduction with the hope of obtaining a scholarship. If you are doing the latter, you should first write about yourself, your educational background and work experiences. Then, you may elaborate your proposal as a subject of research and as to how it is related to the development you are aiming when going back to your country.
zhayendzuji   
Jan 23, 2018
Scholarship / To advance in the field of agricultural biotechnology. Letter of Self-Introduction for KGSP 2018 [3]

Hello everyone! I am applying for KGSP Scholarship for Graduate Degree and I need to write a letter of self-introduction. I have never tried writing one and I am not good in writing so it bothers me a lot. Please help me improve my essay. Thank you in advance!

The instruction was to write about:

1) Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc
2) Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the KGSP program
3) Your motivations for applying for this program and
4) Reason for study in Korea


And here's my essay...

"Once you stop learning, you start dying."


This famous statement has become my guiding principle in life. Since young, my parents have instilled in me the value of education that is why I always find joy in learning new things. From elementary to high school, I have always been among the top ten percent of students. I graduated cum laude (converted GPA, 4.5/5.0) from Central Mindanao University, one of the most prestigious universities in the Philippines. The knowledge, skills and experiences I have acquired in the past have strengthened my point of view. I have become a strong and optimistic person despite the uncertainties in life.

I was 15 when I entered college. As far as I can remember, I studied Agriculture because of my personal experiences growing up in a middle class family. Our financial struggles have urged me to secure a degree and a well-paying job. During those challenging times, our small farm has greatly helped us secure food and additional income for the family. Also, both my parents were graduates of agriculture. My father was an agricultural technologist while my mother was a rural extensionist. I was a witness of how important agriculture is to people.

Living away from home was a big challenge and it made me become more responsible and independent. Struggles of balancing academic and extracurricular activities helped me develop good time management habits. During my third year, I took the lead in organizing social, cultural and community service events in the university town. I was also a member of an extension club where I volunteered doing community services like free vaccination to animals. Through these involvements, I have developed good leadership skills and learned to mingle with a variety of people. I spent my internship months at the University Projects where I was able to put into practice my knowledge in poultry, swine, and small and large ruminants. During those times, I was able to participate in the daily activities in the farm, diagnose and treat diseases of animals, assist veterinarians during surgeries and attend to the needs of the animals. My thesis months were the most challenging. Aside from lack of financial resources, my patience was tested when procurement of experimental materials got delayed. Fortunately, I have started coordinating in advance because I have anticipated things might not come out in favor of the scheduled date. But still I was thankful because I was able to collaborate with Philippine Carabao Center at CMU, a government agency recognized for its conservation and propagation of water buffalos as important source of milk and meat. In the end, my proactive mind and hard work have paved the way for me to graduate with honor.

Months after graduation, I passed the licensure exam. I decided to work at a government office and landed as an extensionist at ______. I teach Swine Nutrition and Artificial Insemination to farmers, businessmen and fellow extensionists. I also develop plans for a sustainable agriculture and provide technical consultations. At the same time, I am also the center's manager for trainings and assessments on Animal Production (Swine) NC II. Also, I am working with the Bureau of Agriculture & Fisheries Standards on the creation of the Good Animal Husbandry Practices for Swine Production. I have attended countless trainings, seminars and conventions related to agriculture that equipped me the knowledge which I am sharing to our clients. All of these have become invaluable work experiences to me and it helped me develop a strong work ethic and sense of commitment. I feel very fortunate and proud that through my job, I am able to help produce food and enhance the quality of life of livestock producers because for me, the essence of life is being able to contribute to the society you are living in. During this three-year period of working with diverse personalities and powers, I have acquired good communication skills and adaptability in a foreign environment. However, the same experiences have made me realize that there is so much more to learn because not all that I have learned can explain some real life scenarios. The more answers I have given, the more questions I have left unanswered. Which is why I decided to pursue a master's education.

I believe studying abroad will provide more opportunity to enhance my talent and explore much diverse ideas, and to appreciate life from a different perspective. I have chosen South Korea because it is one of the strongest biotechnology nation globally, leading Asia Pacific in research and development industry. Also, Korean government supports the acquisition of core technologies and development of biotechnology infrastructure. Seoul National University has also left me a strong impression as the leading research university of the country. I have read that their developments have played important roles in the advancement of the nation. With state-of-the-art facilities and highly skilled professors, I am certain that SNU's Agricultural Biotechnology Program will quench my thirst for further education and equip me the skills necessary to help more people.
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