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Posts by ahsan_daniyal
Name: Daniyal Ahsan
Joined: Sep 23, 2018
Last Post: Aug 24, 2019
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  
Likes: 1
From: Pakistan
School: Student Academy

Displayed posts: 10
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Aug 24, 2019
Writing Feedback / 30-year price of three food product groups and CPI in The Line Chart [2]

hi, please note the following

... fluctuated from 1978 to 2009.This statement is incorrect as all lines show an upward trend.

Secondly, try to include a last paragraph in which you summarize the entire line diagram in one or two sentence/s.

Thirdly, Please try to bring more clarity to your 2nd paragraph.
Aug 22, 2019
Scholarship / I plan on starting a training consultancy firm after granting Chevening Scholarship [2]

Career Plan - Post Chevening Scholarship

Upon my return to Pakistan I plan on rejoining my current company Artistic Milliners, which is a renown supplier of denim fabric and garments to many prestigious American and European brands. I intend to implement the knowledge and experience I have gained during my studies in the UK to transform management and marketing practices in this organization.

The main reason behind my decision to rejoin my current organization is that I am aware its dynamics and have strong network within the company so I can implement what I have learned more effectively and quickly as I am already aware of the challenges the organization is facing. This will also help me to learn a lot as practical is a lot more difficult than theory and I will be able to gain a first hand experience of the hurdles which come in the way of transforming the management practices of an organization. I also plan to switch my department for Research and Development to Marketing within the company so that I can get involved in day to day marketing and sales activities. This would enable me to bring about positive changes in the company's marketing strategies as well.

After two to three years I plan on starting work in the Pakistani fashion retail sector to gain hands on experience in the retail side of business while implementing my knowledge of global management practices and my industrial experience. Although this sector has experienced good growth in the last few years with various designer brands popping up here and there, it is catering primarily to the elite class and a majority of the population cannot relate to it. Therefore, I intend to work towards making Pakistani fashion accessible across all socio-economic groups thereby expanding the consumer base of the fashion industry. Secondly, it is facing a supply chain problem due to its lack of understanding of consumer behavior in the face of rapidly changing fashion trends and its ineffective utilization of digital media. I plan on making improvements in this area thorough my knowledge of marketing and management which I will gain during my studies in the UK.

Since most companies in Pakistan do not have dedicated training programs for their employees specially for fresh graduates, their knowledge is limited to their routine work only due to which they are unable to incorporate innovative or globally recognized practices in their working methodology. As a result they are unable to evolve, though the markets around them are evolving and so are their challenges. Therefore, after getting sufficient experience in the retail sector I plan on starting a training consultancy firm which will provide training and workshops to business organizations, educational institutions, small businesses and entrepreneurs at reasonable costs. This initiative will be extremely beneficial for small businesses and entrepreneurs as they have limited human resources, relatively less experience and financial resources. Through this organization they will be able to upgrade their human resources and utilize them more effectively.
Aug 22, 2019
Research Papers / Effects of social media addiction on people [2]

Your essay is really good except a few grammatical errors or choice of words.

First of all,there are better ways to link these two phrases than a comma: Social media ... online, people have found.. like using"for example" or "as is evident from the fact". Or maybe just not link it at all and use a full stop but a comma just doesn't make sense.

Secondly, you can use "superiority complex"instead of " extremely high self-esteem" as it is makes more sense of the context you are trying to use it in
Aug 18, 2019
Scholarship / Example, not persuasion - Chevening Leadership & Influence Essay [4]

wara you have put in too much details about what your perception of leadership is, though the leadership essay doesn't ask that question..if you eliminate those parts you can streamline your essay and add some more details about your leadership experience..if not then you could just leave it like that making you essay concise and to the point..otherwise your essay is good and i like that you have put in leadership examples form your personal life as well as professional
Aug 18, 2019
Scholarship / Studying In The UK and my choice of masters programs [2]

marketing/management courses selection

Over the course of my career in denim fabric R&D, I have developed a number of innovative products and gained a lot of technical knowledge and experience. Now I wish to couple this technical experience with practical knowledge of business management to gain an in- depth understanding of the consumer and retail aspect of the business. Therefore, a masters in business management or related field would help me gain a broader perspective about how global markets function across all sectors.

Keeping this in mind my first course choice is M.Sc in Marketing from The University of Manchester. Apart form the excellent global reputation of this university, the most attractive feature of this course is that it offers a specialist pathway in Consumer Behavior which allows companies to tailor their product and marketing strategies according to the consumer. Since this area of marketing is relatively unexplored in my country most companies are unable to expand their costumer base locally and internationally. Equipped with this knowledge I intent to introduce innovative and globally effective marketing practices in my country specially in the fashion retail sector with which I have worked closely in the past few years. I also plan to create awareness about consumer behavior among business students and professionals by conducting lectures, workshops and seminars in Pakistani educational institutions.

My second course choice is M.Sc in Marketing Management Practice. I have chosen this course because it has a strong focus on the practical applications of marketing concepts and strategies. This program could benefit me by providing me practical knowledge of the dynamics of global markets and the actual challenges faced by the business world. Moreover, the University of Sheffield attracts a large number of international students and faculty members, which will allow me to form friendships and professional networks not only in UK but all over the world. These networks can help me work for the benefit of my country by facilitating international collaborations and exchange of knowledge later in my career. This multi-cultural learning environment would also help me understand the business environment in countries other than the UK, meaning that this masters program would be a truly global educational experience.

My third choice is MS in Management from the University of Glasgow, which is among the most prestigious universities not only in Scotland but in the UK as well. I believe that this degree will help me gain a holistic understanding of of business practices as well as strategies involved in managing businesses and organizations on a global level. Equipped with this knowledge I would work to implement such modern and effective practices in organizations in my country where very few organizations are abreast with latest developments in management strategies and are running businesses in a typical old school way.

In short, I plan to apply my knowledge and international networks to transform and innovate business practices in my country which will help business and entrepreneurship to thrive which in turn will make a positive contribution to the economy.
Aug 17, 2019
Undergraduate / Congressional Nomination Essay - beyond graduation from the Naval Academy [3]

overall essay is good though i cannot comment on the content of the essay as i dont have knowledge as to what these essays require.

But you do need to improve your sentence structure a bit
For example: ... value of commitment in anything you I do because subject must remain same throughout the sentence.

Secondly:"From gaining knowledge and life long learning"( a correct way to write this would be: by delivering knowledge and lifelong learning
These were the things i was able to spot but i would recommend that you go through it all again and check for similar errors

Aug 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / UK school spending - How to describe a pie chart in Ielts 8 writing task 1 ? [3]

keren first it of all it would have been much better if you had included the pie chart itself in your thread so that people would have been able to cross check your answer with the actual diagram,

Secondly. it would have been better to add a summary statement at the end indicating which sectors experienced and overall growth, which decreased and which remained the same
Aug 15, 2019
Scholarship / Chevening Leadership Essay-My Leadership Experience in a Difficult Situtation [3]

experience from a denim manufacturing company

Being a good leader has always appealed to me on a professional level as i believe that without good leadership no effort on an individual or collective basis can have a far reaching and enduring effect.

I got one such opportunity when I had almost 1.5 years experience working in Artistic Milliners, a denim manufacturing company, and a number of our customers(mostly European and American fashion brands) complained that our fabrics were not up to the mark in terms of innovation despite the fact that my company had boosted R&D activity in the past few years

When this came to my attention I carried out a detailed review of out fabric portfolio from the last 3 years during which I discovered that though we had a lot of innovations in terms of shades, finishes and other areas of fabric design, we had very few new developments in terms of fabric construction and fiber composition, meaning that the new fabrics we were presenting to our customers looked new but were essentially the same in terms of performance and felt the same when they were worn by testers during wear test. In order to highlight this problem I compiled some stats of our previous developments which followed the same pattern and presented it to my head of department, the R&D manager who officially tasked me to fill this gap in our fabric collection and made me the leader of a three member team formulated to deal with this task.

As a first step my team members and I increased our exposure of denim by visiting stores of various fashion brands to understand what kind of fabrics were currently in demand. Then I started holding brainstorming sessions where I encouraged all members to come up with new ideas regarding fabric constructions, specialized yarns and fibers that we could incorporate into our fabrics to enhance their physical properties and performance. I also started inviting colleagues from marketing as they visited denim trade shows frequently and were able to bring an accurate perception of current industry trends to the table. This enabled my team to gain a thorough understanding of the current market demands and provided them an insight into the mind of the fabric buyers.

By implementing this process continuously for two months, we, as a team, had developed and produced a collection of fabrics with unique new physical properties and performance traits and presented them to various customers. Later, this collection along with some other fabrics was displayed at renown denim trade shows such as Kingpins Amsterdam and Premier Vision where it was lauded by buyers and denim designers alike. This collection not only helped us gain more business from out existing buyers but also helped add some new brands to our existing portfolio. Due to the success of this initiative I made such brainstorming activities a routine part of my team's daily activities so that innovation would become a constant process rather than a sporadic one.
Aug 14, 2019
Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS TASK 1: World Meat Production, 1950-1990 [2]

the way you have compiled you answer is good and there is no significant error in it but i spotted a few grammar mistakes
1- 2 nd para 3rd line you write "leaving beef/buffalo under" although "BEHIND" would be a better word in place of "under"
2- 2nd para 4th line, "had a moderate rise" is correct instead of "had a moderately rise"
3- Again in the same line "climbed" is correct instead of "climb" as you are writing in the past tense
Sep 23, 2018
Scholarship / Motivation Letter for Scholarship by DAAD Integrated Urbanism and Sustainable Design [2]

hi ariel.. i just read your letter of motivation and compared it to the daad guidelines. they require you to explain how you expect to make a change at your home country which you have explained accurately though you can put a little more detail in it and no need to mention your professor as it is rrelevant.

Secondly you have not touched the following points such as
Why you would like to study in Germany
Why you are the right person for this programme
Otherwise your essay composition and sentence strucure is good and you don't lack in terms of clarity. Just include the above mentioned i think you are good to go