Writing Feedback / What is it that excites me the most about a college. [4]

Please help me with this Union College essay. Does it answer the question well?

What inspired you to apply to Union and what about our college most excites you? (150 word limit)

unique combination of engineering with liberal arts

In today's world, it seems impossible for us to live without electricity. Unfortunately, still millions of people in my country have never seen an electric bulb.

I dream to work among these underprivileged people for the accessibility of electricity through hydro-power. I want to be an engineer who can connect to the people, engage in their community and act to transform their lives. Thus, the wide range of interdisciplinary studies in the liberal arts and engineering that Union College offers is exactly what I require to fulfill my dream.

With its small student body, I can take full advantage of undergraduate research opportunities and work with the guidance of brilliant faculty. I look forward to present my new ideas at annual Steinmetz Symposium.

It is this unique combination of engineering with liberal arts and excellent research opportunities that excites me the most when I imagine studying at Union.

Undergraduate / How my name inspired me to create my own identity - Common App Essay [5]

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Namesake

"Hurbal", "Birbal", "Billbar", "Whirball", - No, these are not just obscure words. These are my names. These names are not called out of mockery, but rather they are the consequences of having a common but unheard of name in a distant land.

When I asked my father why people would not say my name correctly, he answered, "It is because your name is kept after a great man whom most of them do not recognize." I was curious to know who this great man was. I inquired further and he replied, "The man was one of the pioneers of the first human flight -Wilbur Wright." Having discovered the meaning behind my name, I tried to convince others that my name was not different or funny.

It was during a summer in ******* when I finished my classes and returned home. When I opened the door, I saw a book lying on the table that I had not seen before. The book roughly translates to "Stars of Science." As most of fourth-grade kids do, I opened the book to see the pictures. I riffled through the black and white pages until I saw a familiar name- Wilbur Wright. My expectations of the great man that my father used to talk about plummeted suddenly, at least in terms of his appearance.

Later that night after having dinner, my mother went out to wash the dishes while my father was in the bedroom just a few steps away from the kitchen, since our kitchen, bedroom, library or any other room in a typical house was just a single room. My father asked me to get the new book he brought, so I took the book out from the bookshelf and got onto the bed with him. My father opened the book and, unsurprisingly, he turned to the biography of 'Wilbur Wright'. Usually, my father would ask me to read the book. But this time, he read it aloud while I listened intently. As I listened to him speak, I imagined myself flying high in the sky and conquering the human flight. I couldn't believe that the aviation pioneer was just an ordinary man who worked in a bicycle shop. I was completely assured that the person whose name I shared is a great man although my opinion on his appearance didn't change.

However, as I grew older, I began to notice that people were too quick to judge me. I was recognized just because of my different name.

Was I only the bearer of a different name and nothing more?

No! I told myself. I wanted a change. A change that would prove that I am worthy of my name. But of course, change is never easy. I remember the time when I first dribbled a basketball and threw shots nowhere near the basket. Amidst barely contained giggles, my friend revealed to me that even my teacher told my father that I jumped like a frog. I gave awkward debate speeches, went blank during poem recitations and finished last in relay races. Nothing was going the way I intended, but slowly I began to learn. I learned that I could always improve. I learned that it doesn't matter if others mock or ridicule me because all I had to do was to try again and do it better. I realized that it is necessary to risk failure in order to achieve success. I learned that you can get recognized only if you try. So, I always aspire to create my own identity. I hope to see the day when people who called me "Hurbal", "Birbal", "Billbar" or "Whirball" will correctly pronounce my name as "Wilbur" because they recognize me, not because of the great man whose name I share.