Posts by Alicelanphuong

Alicelanphuong

Dec 21, 2018

Scholarship / Korean Scholarship- Personal Statement- Masters Degree [2]

I can see that you have a impressive background. However, you should take some time to make it more better.
1. Background and interests
You should divide it into two distinct parts that represent at least two of your talents or aptitudes.
Paragraph 1: you can talk about education: Have yoy ever been a foreign language teacher? If that is true, you might focus it because this information is very valuable.

P.2: You can discuss about football: I think your idea is ok! But you should rearrange the sentenses to be shorter.
In short, other people can clearly see the differences between you and other candidates.

2. Experience
I want to add a point below:
For example " .... I had 4 years of experience teaching French..." instead of " I gained......"
Because I think milestones really make sense.

3. Movitation or Reason for studying in Korea
I think the reasons you come up with more persuasive ( you can add a few different factors)

Alicelanphuong

Dec 19, 2018

Writing Feedback / In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under pressure to work hard. [7]

I think it is not problem!
In writing, you can not write "now" but "nowaday" or "present" is used.

Alicelanphuong

Dec 18, 2018

Undergraduate / Desiring to be an explorer. Application letter for Global UGRAD exchange program [3]

I think that your begining is quite long and unnecessary.
Acorrding my experience, I think the structure below will be better
1. You should talk about you: name, university ( your background above is quite impressive but you can write 1-3 sentences to point out the importance of these study program) and your achievements ( it will be very important for you to fight with others)

2. You will talk about your social activites
Athough you have a lot of activities, you should only present a few ativities which has a purpose or orientation similar to this program. Moreover, these paragraph have to describe your abilities such as creation, dynamic, enthusiasm,...

Remaining ativities, you can list them.
3. You explain that:
Why should they choose you?
What will you bring to this program? And What can this program bring to you? ( example: these things are really important late in my life)

The most important, you have to understand the difecences between you and other candidates which will make you special.

Alicelanphuong

Dec 18, 2018

Writing Feedback / Sharing freely information without caring the importance or value of it [3]

Sharing information: should or should not

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others belive that some impormation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

People have different perspectives on whether imformation about scientific research, business and the academic world should be shared for free as much as posible or not for free because it is curial or to valuable. In my pinion, I think that it is depends both imfomation's value and infomation owner.

Many people support the opinion that it would be better as information should be shared freely. This might be because the information is extremely helpful for every one to work, study or develop. Therefore, sharing for free information what will bring a lot of benefits such as reputation, respect and esteem both individual and orginasation is curial, especially study about science, business and academic world.

On the other hand, others argue that many information should be charged because they are too important or great worth. For example, no candiadte who want to share their answers for other candidates in the college entrance examination want to enter university. It is clear that many exclusive informations of any organisation which has spent a lot of wealth and effort to create something and they think that they will sell thier information instead of sharing publicly.

However, I think that there are two factors which has an influence on sharing or non-sharing information. Although the value of information plays a key role in the owner's consideration of selling or sharing, the factor which decides the destiny of ingormation is haman. Consequently, some liberal people are willing to share freely their information without caring the impotence or value of information.

To sum up, sharing or non-sharing depends not only value but also holder of information but the exact imformation always useful for everyone so they should be shared for free as much as possible.

Alicelanphuong

Dec 18, 2018

Undergraduate / Global Ugrad - Making the difference in the education of students [7]

"... my behavior got me in trouble many times"
I think you shouldn't talk about your shortcomings.
And your essay is not enough to convince. You could talk about:
1. Who are you? Name, university, your achievement ( education and society)...
2. Why this program should choose you? (You have to emphasise it)
Your abilities fit this program.
What can you bring this program?
What can this program bring you?
The most important, you should undertand the differences beetwen you and others what will make you special.

Alicelanphuong

Dec 18, 2018

Writing Feedback / In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under pressure to work hard. [7]

Do you use gg translator?
Because I can see many errors not only vocabulary but also grammar.
For example:
In this day and age -> Nowaday
First and foremost ??? -> Firstly or Beginning

Alicelanphuong

Dec 15, 2018

Writing Feedback / The only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel/work in a foreign country [3]

reasons to learn a foreign language

"Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or to work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion"

People have different perspectives on whether working or traveling are the only reason for learning a foreign language or there are more than two reasons above in order to learn a language of a different country. In my opinion, i absolutely agree that learning a foreign language is certainly not only traveling or working but also liking or any constraint.

On one hand, it is obvious that foreign language plays a vital role in helping people to live in abroad for both working and traveling. In more details, a foreign language enables people to work effectively in their areas. Thus, this will be apart of contributing factor influencing people's success as people have to expose to working environment abroad. In terms of traveling, there will be many benefits from knowing a foreign language. It is clear that it allows people communicate easily with local resident. In the same way, foreign language can help travelers in discovering many more interested places, some new dishs and a few new friends. Specifically, if traveler can speak a local language, they may not need to spend money to hire translators for a few trips.

On the other hand, people learn a foreign language for a lot of reasons not only to work or to travel abroad. In actual fact, some people have a favorite which is studying the culture in the world. Therefore, knowing about language makes substantial contribution to understanding the beauty of culture of any country. As well as, college degree is also a reason to learn any foreign language. For example, in higher education, students must influence by English as a part of student's requirement in order to meet the highest quality standard of knowledge least 5.5 Ielts in academic score to enter university in Vietnam.

To sum up, people have many reasons to learn a foreign language. And, each people should study one more foreign language because this will bring a lot of benefits for learner.