Posts by RIA123

RIA123

Jan 11, 2019

Undergraduate / Academic and Practial World - University of Waterloo. AIF. Reason for choosing to study CE program [4]

I think you can give specific example of the entrepreneurs created by the university and specify their great works and how they inspire you to do something you want to do.

I think you can also write something more about the practical application of education and exposure you will be getting due to this opportunity.

RIA123

Jan 11, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES AND SOLUTIONS [3]

I'm not a native speaker but I would like to suggest you a few things.
I think it will be better if you write a paragraph about a problem, then give the solution for that prominent problem.
For example:
One of the burning environmental problems today is global warming. This is caused by burning of fossil fuel, unplanned urbanization and excessive deforestation. Global warming has resulted in change in temperature on Earth. To prevent further damage this problem can cause, renewable energy sources can be put into use, plantation programs can be carried out and fuel efficient vehicles can be promoted.

I think this will suffice.

RIA123

Jan 11, 2019

Writing Feedback / Task 1_ Map_The maps below show how the town of Harborne changes from 1936 to 2007 [2]

I think, you can write something else instead of writing: river was developed into residential area. For example, you can write: The area around the river is seen encroached by a residential area.

There are plenty of spelling mistakes too.
considerably, demolished, residential, northeastern, additionally, golf course
You can also use transition words to make the flow very smooth. for example:
... still remain. However, the sweet shop ...

instead of writing, Whereas the farmland ...
you can write:
The farmland is seen replaced by a golf course.

RIA123

Jan 11, 2019

Undergraduate / Colgate University Supplement - three words your friend uses, which tells a lot about you [2]

conscientious, focused and patient

My high school best friend, X, who has known me for 2 years would describe me as a conscientious, focused and patient person.
The multiple times she erases the drafts I write with pencil before overwriting with a pen, the effort she sees in the birthday card I've prepared for her, or the many times she notices me with bags under my eyes, my friend always tells me that I work too hard. She respects my hardworking quality a lot.

My friend has found a very patient teacher in me. Given the lack of her mathematical skills and on the top of that with no person to teach her patiently, she found it very difficult to grasp the concepts. Hence, when I taught her in free periods without actually getting angry or frustrated, she complimented me for being very patient with her and does that till today.

Be it the planning of how we are going to spend a free period or the places to hang out during holiday time, my friend is never able to reach a conclusion. So, she always asks me to such things since I'm very focused on what I want and decisive too.

How can i improve this essay? Any feedback is appreciated.