vietcti
Jun 22, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Part II: Should we invest in science education only for the country development. [4]
@oneouran @LUNA94 thanks you guys
@oneouran @LUNA94 thanks you guys
vietcti
Jun 20, 2019
Writing Feedback / Positive & Negative to actions to effect environment [2]
You have 'on the other hand' so i think you should have 'on the one hand' at the beginning of the 2nd paragraph.
'haven't been' as this is an essay, i suggest you not to write this way, it is only suitable in a talk.
',..' i do not think we can use these dots in an essay.
I will not comment about the content as i really do not understand the question.
You have 'on the other hand' so i think you should have 'on the one hand' at the beginning of the 2nd paragraph.
'
',..' i do not think we can use these dots in an essay.
I will not comment about the content as i really do not understand the question.
vietcti
Jun 20, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Part II: Essay about the positive and negative development of tourism in some country [4]
@Maria thank you so much Maria! i will try my best to have a better writing essay.
@Maria thank you so much Maria! i will try my best to have a better writing essay.
vietcti
Jun 20, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Part II: Should we invest in science education only for the country development. [4]
The government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, there are a dramatic growth in investments of the education all over the world. While, it is believe that those money should focus more on science education, I think we may also share our resources to other subjects because of some reasons which relate directly to human-being.
To begin with, it is true that science subjects have a great influence in a country's development. In technology, by having more scientists, we can invent more machines and solutions which will improve our workforce' productivity. Beside, the corporations might save a lot of money from purchasing the latest innovations from the other countries. Moreover, the development in science could lead to the improvement in healthcare system. As the results, the mortality rate and sickness absence rate which definitely effect to our economic might reduce dramatically.
However, the development of a country is not built totally from science only. There are other subjects like sports and arts which could play an important role in our society. Firstly, sports influence to out physical health. By investing in sports, schools can construct more stadiums, Olympic-sized swimming pools and other facilities which may raise the movement in playing sports among the students. Secondly, arts which include paintings and musics can affect gradually to human's mental health. By spending money on art education, we can have a high-educated artists who can contribute to the development of the art in the country.
In conclusion, in the economical society, science just account for 50% in total the others are human. Therefore, if we just stay focus on science education, our country can not fully and steadily develop as we expected.
Why do we need to teach more about science?
The government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, there are a dramatic growth in investments of the education all over the world. While, it is believe that those money should focus more on science education, I think we may also share our resources to other subjects because of some reasons which relate directly to human-being.
To begin with, it is true that science subjects have a great influence in a country's development. In technology, by having more scientists, we can invent more machines and solutions which will improve our workforce' productivity. Beside, the corporations might save a lot of money from purchasing the latest innovations from the other countries. Moreover, the development in science could lead to the improvement in healthcare system. As the results, the mortality rate and sickness absence rate which definitely effect to our economic might reduce dramatically.
However, the development of a country is not built totally from science only. There are other subjects like sports and arts which could play an important role in our society. Firstly, sports influence to out physical health. By investing in sports, schools can construct more stadiums, Olympic-sized swimming pools and other facilities which may raise the movement in playing sports among the students. Secondly, arts which include paintings and musics can affect gradually to human's mental health. By spending money on art education, we can have a high-educated artists who can contribute to the development of the art in the country.
In conclusion, in the economical society, science just account for 50% in total the others are human. Therefore, if we just stay focus on science education, our country can not fully and steadily develop as we expected.
vietcti
Jun 20, 2019
Writing Feedback / The pie charts below compare 2 years in terms of online sale in retail sectors in Canada [4]
'General speaking In general, in both 2 years, together ... represented more than a half of sales '
i do not think you are writing in a right way. You should say more than half of the total sales. But you should rewrite the whole sentence.
'to hit the peak.Whereas, Information
whereas = on contrary. We just only use this word if the sentence have a reverse trend.
I think Information technology <> Video games (their meanings are totally different, you can not paraphrase in that way)
'Respectively, the customers of ' this word usually locates at the end of the sentence.
'steadly' -> steadily you mean?
this essay have a lot of grammatical errors which i can not list all here.
'
i do not think you are writing in a right way. You should say more than half of the total sales. But you should rewrite the whole sentence.
'to hit the peak.
whereas = on contrary. We just only use this word if the sentence have a reverse trend.
I think Information technology <> Video games (their meanings are totally different, you can not paraphrase in that way)
'
'
this essay have a lot of grammatical errors which i can not list all here.
vietcti
Jun 20, 2019
Writing Feedback / Task 1 about the proportion of consumer expenditures on different categories [3]
spent the highest proportion ...
Dear Thang, i personally believe you can not use 'spend' to talk about the proportion.
'leisure/education was ...in terms of consumer spending'
well, i do think you should rewrite this sentence.
eg: People in those five countries spent the most of their budget on Food/Drinks/Tobacco
Dear Thang, i personally believe you can not use 'spend' to talk about the proportion.
'leisure/education was ...
well, i do think you should rewrite this sentence.
eg: People in those five countries spent the most of their budget on Food/Drinks/Tobacco
vietcti
Jun 19, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Part II: Essay about the positive and negative development of tourism in some country [4]
Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?
The recent years witness an increase of the number of the third countries enlarging the tourism industries. It is happened because of some inevitable purposes and brung a ton of benefits toward those territories.
To begin with, there are some reasons for this phenomena. First of all, developing tourism industries is one of the easest way to improve promptly and directly their countries' economics. As this business does not require the high-level skills workers, therefore, it does not take much time to do the training, as the result, we might start to run the property when all the facilities are done. Secondly, most of those countries already have had the suitable resources for growing tourism. For instance, in Vietnam, there are several untouched coasts with white sand beaches and blue sea as long as the presence of many historical sights which have lasted along with its long history.
Tourism will definitely carry a number of advantages if we know how to do the planning. The development of toursim will enhance the other industries in the local area which can range from construction (with building the hotels) to manufacture (with making souvenir or furniture and food). In addition, It will decline the unemployment rate as providing many vacancies to the tourism sights. When finished of constructing, each hotel needs at least hundreds employees to function and maybe more during high-seasons.
In conclusion, tourist industries seems like a shortcut to the third-world countries to develop and improve the qualities of the habitants. It brings a lot of benefits when the authorities know how to control its impacts on cutures.
Booming Global Travel And Tourism
Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?
The recent years witness an increase of the number of the third countries enlarging the tourism industries. It is happened because of some inevitable purposes and brung a ton of benefits toward those territories.
To begin with, there are some reasons for this phenomena. First of all, developing tourism industries is one of the easest way to improve promptly and directly their countries' economics. As this business does not require the high-level skills workers, therefore, it does not take much time to do the training, as the result, we might start to run the property when all the facilities are done. Secondly, most of those countries already have had the suitable resources for growing tourism. For instance, in Vietnam, there are several untouched coasts with white sand beaches and blue sea as long as the presence of many historical sights which have lasted along with its long history.
Tourism will definitely carry a number of advantages if we know how to do the planning. The development of toursim will enhance the other industries in the local area which can range from construction (with building the hotels) to manufacture (with making souvenir or furniture and food). In addition, It will decline the unemployment rate as providing many vacancies to the tourism sights. When finished of constructing, each hotel needs at least hundreds employees to function and maybe more during high-seasons.
In conclusion, tourist industries seems like a shortcut to the third-world countries to develop and improve the qualities of the habitants. It brings a lot of benefits when the authorities know how to control its impacts on cutures.
