Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by hhching126
Name: Nellie Huang
Joined: Apr 22, 2019
Last Post: Apr 30, 2019
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
Likes: 3
From: Taiwan

Displayed posts: 6
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
hhching126   
Apr 30, 2019
Writing Feedback / TASK 1- PEOPLE ATE FIVE NO-MEAT PORTIONS PER DAY [2]

One humble suggestion from me:

This bar graphic doesn't indicate clearly each percentage of these three groups in different years.
Therefore, I'd recommend not to specify the proportion if they are not stated.

For example:

In details, in 2001, about 22 percent of females ... ( around 11 percent). Additionally, only approximately 16.5 percent ...

It would be better to add on some words, such as about, approximately, around and etc, because we can't be sure about the percentage on this graphic.

Good luck!
hhching126   
Apr 29, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS 12 Test 8 Task1: Electricity is produced by geothermal energy [3]

rubric

Thanks Eddy!

Actually there were in total four paragraphs and I accidentally made the first on in bold letter:
THIS DIAGRAM ILLUSTRATES HOW GEOTHERMAL ENERGY IS TRANSFORMED INTO ELECTRICITY.

So my overview is this paragraphs:
There are in general five steps in this process. It is clear....

Does is consider as an overview? Is it necessary to write down the word overall?

Thanks !
hhching126   
Apr 25, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS 12 Test 8 Task1: Electricity is produced by geothermal energy [3]

Topic: The diagram below shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity.

**Picture is in the end of this article.**

This diagram illustrates how geothermal energy is transformed into electricity.



There are in general five steps in this process. It is clear that cold water is pumped down into the ground in the beginning and passes through an area of hot rocks. After that, the water becomes hot water and is pumped up to the generator to generate power at the last step.

In the first stage, cold water is accumulated in order to pumped down into the ground of 4.5km depth where is named injection well. Then the water goes through a geothermal zone which is filled with hot rock and later water gathers in the production well. At this point, the cold water turns hot.

After the third stage in the production well, the hot water is pumped up to the condenser on the ground. The steam is produced after the condensation inside the condenser and it pushes the turbine in order to generate the electricity. (158 words)

Thanks everyone who takes time to help me!

Ps. I don't know if there are other good advice to replace these two: pump up and down (the water)
Also I wasn't confident about this sentence: ... into the ground of 4.5km depth where is named injection well.

Highly appreciated who provides suggestions!




hhching126   
Apr 25, 2019
Writing Feedback / All School Subjects or Subjects of Interest - Ielts Task 2 Essay [4]

Hi !

I am also an IELTS test taker and here is my humble opinion:

After reading the whole article, I'd shorten this sentence as below:

--> .... will be limited. This results in losing change to develop their special talents/ interests/ hobbies.

Good luck!
hhching126   
Apr 24, 2019
Writing Feedback / The frequency of people in the USA consumed in fast food eateries - Ielts cambridge 12 task 1 test 5 [4]

Hi!

I also happened to practice this same title before and followings are my humble opinions:

1. The second paragraph could also be written as below to decrease the repetition.
whereas the frequency of major consumers rose to once or twice a month in the year 2013.

2. I don't think plural is needed for superlative
such as highest percentages and lowest proportions

Last but not least, I like how you addressed this article with various vocabularies!

Good luck!
hhching126   
Apr 23, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS AC 12 Test 7 - the perceptions of high speed rail in a country [2]

Some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains cities while others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.


High-Speed Rail or Existing Public Transport?



As the prices are rising on everything in our daily life, so do the renovation of the public transportation. Moreover, the newest technology release rapidly and it might appear much faster than the construction of any mass transportation. Thus, there are various opinion whether we should spend large amount of money on new high-speed rails or on improving existing ones?

The supporter of new transport systems advice that the transportation plays and essential role in countries' development and economic improvements. Furthermore, there are potential risks of existing transportation which might waste time or increase air pollution. Therefore, it is firmly recommended to invest a fortune for the brighter future. While the opponents suggest that the modern technology is at high-pace development and it is possible leading to dangerous incidents without well-trained staffs to manipulate the systems. Rather than investing money on the new transport, it is more likely important to maintain and improve what systems we have now.

There was no high-speed rail in my country years ago and there were plenty of people against this project initially because of its millions of US dollars' cost. However, after it was built, it brought not only practical convenience between cities but also developments along numerous stations. Meanwhile, we also continue maintain the existing systems to make up the missing areas where is not reachable by high speed rail. From my point of view, I can only partly agree both statements. On the one hand, it is no doubt that it requires huge investments in new public transports. On the other hand, we should not therefore abandon existing system.

In conclusion, we should use strengths of high-speed rail to compensate for shortcomings of existing transportation and vise versa.

(285 words)

Ps. I appreciated who takes the precious time helping me on my essay :)
By the way, I wasn't so sure whether I should take example in this essay because it stated under the question box:
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳