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Posts by Wendynguyen803
Name: Quynh Nguyen
Joined: May 28, 2019
Last Post: Jun 15, 2019
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  
Likes: 2
From: Viet Nam
School: Bui Huu Nghia High school

Displayed posts: 8
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Wendynguyen803   
Jun 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / Task 2- Foreign learning: advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad in the developed countries [6]

Hi @MinhAnh
You're essay is well-written! However, If I were you, I would shorten my introduction like this:

... people are nowadays expressing ... countries. While some individuals argue convincingly that learning at modern countries has disadvantages, there are still some who hold firmly to their belief that people should study in the developed countries. Therefore, some arguments ...

This shorter form will help you save your time as well as make the idea clearer.

Besides, I suggest you should correct this sentence a little bit:
... studying at foreign ... difficult to access ... learn adapt such new culture and tradition from those full-fledged nations.

That's all, since you have such a great writing skill and vocabulary, hope my feedback useful for you ^^
Enjoy your good days.
Wendynguyen803   
Jun 13, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - DESCRIBING THE DATA FROM TABLE [3]

traffic on three suburban roads



Hi guys, I decided to post my essay in writing task 1 and hopefully to get some useful advices from you. Please feel free to read and help me check when necessary.

The table below shows the results of a survey of the average number of cars per hour using three suburban roads during working hours in a ten-year pollution monitoring programme. Traffic calming was introduced in Harper Lane at the beginning of 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the data below.

The table illustrates the report about the average quantity of vehicles per hour driving on three residential areas during weekdays in a monitoring programme from 1993 to 2002.

Overall, there was an upward trend in the number of cars passing through three given roads, but Harper Lane was the least polluted route.

Between 1993 and 1998, Harper Lane witnessed a ninefold climb from just around an average of 100 cars per hour to roughly 900. Interestingly, this figure from Harper Lane in 1998 was the highest, compared to two other lanes. However, there was a slight fluctuation in Great York Way, increasing from an hourly rate 600 vehicles to nearly 700. Also, the traffic travelling down Long Lane oscillated dramatically and went up by exactly three quarters in 1998, from 400 to 700 cars.

By the early 1999, the volume of traffic in Harper Lane declined sharply to an accuracy of 204 cars per hour due to the traffic calming measure, considerably fewer than last year. Thereafter, the number of cars driving through Harper Lane remained stable at just under 200. In contrast, since this measure wasn't implemented on other roads, the amount of traffic continued to rise until staying constant at the end of the period with an hourly average of 900 cars for Great York Way and 1400 cars for Long Lane.




Wendynguyen803   
Jun 10, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS-2 : Should we let old languages die? [7]

Hello there @ naomi1993
I see that you're new here and haven't got any experiences so I'll give you some feedbacks about your essay.
The most important is that the introduction is not mentioned about your opinion since the question is "To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?" I think you should include your view point in the introduction to make clear what you'll say next.

Ex: In my opinion/In my perspective, while I accept that it might be easier for human to have less languages, I would argue that other unpopular dialects are also important.

Furthermore, since this essay is asking about two sides of the idea so you should have at least two paragraphs to state each sides: one for your agreement and one for the others.

Well that's all I got for you, make sure that you'll try your best to improve writing skill
Good lucks, good days ^^
Wendynguyen803   
Jun 6, 2019
Writing Feedback / Sports which enhance team spirit are most beneficial but others advocate for individual competitions [3]

Hi @ oanh9a6
I'm impressive in your writing skills and the vocabulary you'd used. But I think the mistake here is that you don't accomplish your task response: give your own opinion. Although everything is quite excellent ( coherence and cohesion, lexical resource, grammar) and that you state "From my perspective", I think it's better to be completely inclined to only one view of the argument.

If I were you, my introduction will be like this:
...
From my perspective, while both sides have their own merits, I would be completely preferable in attending (individual/team) sports.


Here are just my opinions about your essay. However, I'm still a student and haven't took part in the Ielts test yet so it's quite hard for me to give your work a band score, sorry (*゚ー゚*)

Good luck as always!
Wendynguyen803   
Jun 3, 2019
Writing Feedback / Writing Ielts task 2 - TECHNOLOGY and YOUNG PEOPLE [2]

NOWADAYS kids spend their free time in a different way



Feel free to read and help me check when necessary ^^
TOPIC: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It has been widely noted that youngsters are alternatively consumed their leisure time within the advent of contemporary technological devices. While I accept that this propensity has exerted both benefits and drawbacks, I would argue that there are more advantages than disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are two major demerits when children devote much of their spared time for recreational electronic devices. First of all, scientific evidences have proven that electronic devices such as smartphones and computers are of great detriment for their physical health. Scientifically, children expose to electromagnetic waves and blue light from modern technological gadgets may suffer from certain illnesses, some of which are headache or eye-strain. Besides, another drawbacks of technological innovations is that they might act as a deterrent against family bond. With the presence of the up-to-date technological tools, the youth spend a great amount of time on exploring such interesting things from the tools to serve their diversified purposes, but the time for communicating and family activities among the members is diminished. Thus, those disadvantages of cutting-edge devices are underestimated.

On the other hand, I support the view of those who believe that the benefits of electronic devices outweigh the drawbacks. Initially, society is connected all around the world thanks to the widespread popularity of the Internet. For instance, teenagers are likely to use their smartphones or laptops so that they can make video calls or find new friends. Also, latest technologies unfold the possibility of recreation and education without leaving the comfort of their homes. Playing games, watching videos or listening to music serve as a remedy for minimizing strain after a lesson. Therefore, contemporary gadgets which have adjusted the way children fill their leisure time become a motivation for learning.

In conclusion, despite the fact that modern technological devices may cause deriments to the young, I am convinced that the merits are of more of significant. Hence, children should enhance understanding about utilizing the latest technology wisely and sufficiently.
Wendynguyen803   
May 30, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Agree or Disagree essay on solution to improve road safety [4]

Hello, this is the first time I post my essay on this Web so feel free to read and check when necessary ^^

TOPIC(03/02/2018): The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Assuring road safety proves to be of great necessity in elevating traffic security. The idea that only through rigorous penalty can traffic safety be advanced. In my opinion, there are more ways to solve such problem than just implementing harsh punishments on driving misdemeanors.

On the one hand, there are justified reasons from those who support heavy sentences in order to reform traffic wellbeing. First of all, the government dispel any ideas of the same repetitive outrages. Therefore, various kinds of penalties are imposed which contribute to enhance understanding for traffic attendants such as: increasing the amount of fine, driving license suspension, imprisonment,... Additionally, people are stimulated to obey the law willingly by enforcing severe punishments. For instance, when one gets punished heavily, he or she will instantlly be more careful by paying more attention while driving or slowing down in order to notice pedestrians crossing. Thus, new drivers especially the young who manage to learn before attending the troublous congestion is heightened their intellect by applying such tough sentences.

On the other hand, I would argue that there are some ideas served as solutions for decreasing danger on the road which is not only by imposing heavy penalties. Firstly, public transport should be reasonably decreased prices for everyone, mainly for students and senior citizens. Hopefully, traveling by public transports like buses or trains, which aim to be sufficient accords in both developed and developing nations, may be a contributor to diminish traffic jam and even air contamination. Besides, young new traffic attendants are encouraged to be educated before they are ready to meet the flow of vehicles. For example, "joy riding" is arised when someone steal cars and drive them without particular goals, but just the pleasure or trembling of doing so, owing to the widespread popularity among untaught individuals before driving. Hence, some people believe that everyone should be well-informed about traffic laws so as to minimize offences on the road.

In conclusion, leveling fine status is not the only solution to improve road safety as there are numerous different approaches to tackle aforementioned issue