Writing Feedback / The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. [4]

IELTS writing task 2 - argumentative essay

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Health rate standardization has been issued to reduce its average in the forthcoming time compared to present days. Having short dining time due to people's tight schedule in workplace has caused unhealthy eating habits. Provided by many choices of various foods also leads people's tendency on healthy life style significantly to change. This essay fully support the statement of the lowering in healthy standardized rate presumably occur in the time to come in regards to busy owning to limited mealtime workers and a plethora of food choices being today living style.

People getting involved in various activities in workplace tend to be frantic. Hence, employees may do not have enough time to eat nutrient dishes sufficiently for prioritizing to finish their jobs because well-prepared foods consume lots of time to make. Junk foods or instant noodle with addictive substances would be the most preferable chosen for fulfilling their appetite in a short break. These fast foods are not fresh containing less vitamins and minerals but more unnecessary fats or refined carbohydrates raising the blood cholesterol level. Thus, falling to frantic activities lead work officers being unable to manage food consumption properly.

Majority people choosing their meals in this day concern on variety of tasty servings rather than foods with complex carbohydrates. This tendency of enjoying such popular foods harms their needs of nourishing their body leading to sickness. Popularity of spicy flavor for illustration, since spicy dishes become viral among global community due to the spiciness sensation gaining while eating such meals, too much scalding effects would affect stomachache of the consumer obtaining measly nutrition. Accordingly, loads of food choice influence people rarely eating good foods.

To conclude, continuing this diet habit is more apt to decrease the standard of health percentage in the future society considering workers today become less concern of getting balance diet. A vulnerable recommendation would be paying more consideration of having healthy life style from foods could stabilize the rate of health standard.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2 - argumentative essay- Would life be better without sophisticated technology? [2]

Life is better when technology was simpler.

To what extend do you agree?

Many argue that when simpler technology was implemented, better life would be gained. Due to the fact that reliance on technology in social communication is undeniable, friendships become lasting longer without time and space limitations. With the ability to connect people and as a means of sharing and spreading the news throughout the world, this provision on technology has made society living more simply by electronic news. Thus, this essay completely opposes the statement that cutting-edge technology in communication can lead people to live more easily.

Social life nowadays has relied more on advanced technology since modern media of exchanging personal news between relatives or close friends vary in specific needed features. The facility allows teenagers sending message even photos, making voice or video calls instantly by smart phones owned by everyone. Hence, even old friendships are apart by time and place, those with that relationships are able to keep sharing each others' latest condition. This feasibility has proven that high technology have helped societies living more efficiently on broadening socialization.

News is also one of the benefits of technology for life as newspapers have been digitized for globally providing information from internet connection. Utilizing writing platform like blogs, discoverers founding new discoveries could offer practical breakthroughs as well as give a new insight of problem solved invention throughout the world from academic writing. Enhancing knowledge and broadened the horizon of news blog readers may come as the advantages. Presumably, informative and persuasive perspective from the inventors would be imitated from their journals or articles in blogs. Compared to the conventional newspapers and publications, by educating community in the way of disseminating science, this action virtually affects wide communities' life to be more manageable by reaching lots of internet users wherever and whenever they are reading the website. This society then enable dealing with indiscretion harnessing the more proper solution offered from various sources in internet.

To conclude, a much broader social circulation and a much better-educated people in society as betterment of life have depended on developed technology a lot. A reason for this statement is such invention has been one of the foundations making life livable. Supporting technology development continuing to improve would be the best suggestion given from this essay.

Writing Feedback / School teachers are more responsible for social & intellectual development of students than parents [4]

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

IELTS writing task 2 - argumentative essay

Many argue that school teachers being of the responsibility more than parents developing children's socializing skill since school are capable to provide the social ambiance and environment. Teachers being aided by school could improve intellectual competence of students as well. Obviously, this essay strongly supports the statement of teachers in school as mediators giving effective treatments for students' social and intellectual needs.

Hands-on experiences and power of teachers are believed for inducing social sense of students since teachers are able and experienced on managing needed group activities aiming for building an interactive neighborhood precisely. In addition, teachers also could encourage them getting involved in interacting with their peers in school while preparing and organizing group presentations. Hence, these activities would surely help kids having communicative interaction followed by cooperative, leadership and emphatic abilities in the way they discuss the topic of presentation given. Thus, comparing to parents, school-teaching practitioners are of more capabilities facilitating students' necessity on socializing proficiency.

When it comes to intelligence needs, required with educational qualifications in school are teachers being well-trained in delivering systematic presentation. Accordingly, process of transferring knowledge between teachers and learners will be based on that qualified education. Within this process, an encouragement building critical thinking by discussion, problem solving and observation would occur. Taking reviewing mathematics assignment activity to illustrate, children with counting homework being assessed would be more inclined to acquire math knowledge from math teachers by getting a proper explanation of their incorrect answers. Revising, consulting also understanding stages would come up as the results. Therefore, by conducting these learning approaches, teachers are more experienced and expert rather than parents.

To sum up, young learners could get along with both social and intellectual competence mostly in school with teaches as the facilitators. The recommendation regarding to this would be parents should cooperate and collaborate with educators in school and the institution itself in improving those proficiency for their kids.