IELTS writing task 2 - argumentative essay- Would life be better without sophisticated technology?

Life is better when technology was simpler.

To what extend do you agree?

Many argue that when simpler technology was implemented, better life would be gained. Due to the fact that reliance on technology in social communication is undeniable, friendships become lasting longer without time and space limitations. With the ability to connect people and as a means of sharing and spreading the news throughout the world, this provision on technology has made society living more simply by electronic news. Thus, this essay completely opposes the statement that cutting-edge technology in communication can lead people to live more easily.

Social life nowadays has relied more on advanced technology since modern media of exchanging personal news between relatives or close friends vary in specific needed features. The facility allows teenagers sending message even photos, making voice or video calls instantly by smart phones owned by everyone. Hence, even old friendships are apart by time and place, those with that relationships are able to keep sharing each others' latest condition. This feasibility has proven that high technology have helped societies living more efficiently on broadening socialization.

News is also one of the benefits of technology for life as newspapers have been digitized for globally providing information from internet connection. Utilizing writing platform like blogs, discoverers founding new discoveries could offer practical breakthroughs as well as give a new insight of problem solved invention throughout the world from academic writing. Enhancing knowledge and broadened the horizon of news blog readers may come as the advantages. Presumably, informative and persuasive perspective from the inventors would be imitated from their journals or articles in blogs. Compared to the conventional newspapers and publications, by educating community in the way of disseminating science, this action virtually affects wide communities' life to be more manageable by reaching lots of internet users wherever and whenever they are reading the website. This society then enable dealing with indiscretion harnessing the more proper solution offered from various sources in internet.

To conclude, a much broader social circulation and a much better-educated people in society as betterment of life have depended on developed technology a lot. A reason for this statement is such invention has been one of the foundations making life livable. Supporting technology development continuing to improve would be the best suggestion given from this essay.

@Hirumi
Here's my feedback on your writing.

Try your best to create simpler sentences when you can. This will help your writing become easier to comprehend. When we take a look at, for instance, the first sentence of the second paragraph, there could have been alternative methods of writing it. You could have said: Peoples' social lives are reliant on the variation of mediums present in media-based communication. Opting to remove phrases such as "relatives or close friends" will help you improve your writing's entirety.

It would be better if you had incorporated more examples throughout the essay. There were portions wherein you needed to incorporate a more intensive approach to adding depth. When you spoke, for instance, about blogs and news articles, you could have opted to mention a more detailed input into the discussion.