Undergraduate / UCF "How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are" [4]

Please give me any suggestions you think will make the essay better.

Thanks!

The smell of curry chicken, seasoned rice, and spiced vegetables flows through the air. I hear the rhythmic banging of hands against the Indian drums known as Tablas. This was the scene of an Indian wedding I recently attended that allowed me to see the convivial and unique culture that I have the privilege of being a part of. Tradition has been an enormous factor in my family for all of my life. Having two parents native-born citizens of another nation, I have great appreciation for the privileges I enjoy to be an American born citizen and along with the opportunities I have to be a part of multiple cultures. My father immigrated from India in 1985, and soon after was followed by my mother. For five years, my parents, who came to America with less than $120, worked until they were able to save enough money to start a small convenient store in the land of opportunity. The story of my parents migration from the poor villages of India, to the middle class American Dream reminds me that hard work and dedication will, in the end, lead to success. My family history provides me with the motivation I need, to accomplish something great in my life. As I move forward to obtain a college education with the foundation set out for me by my family, I keep in mind that I too will have to persevere for life's greatest achievements.

Undergraduate / "Why did you choose to apply to UCF?" Essay for admission. [6]

This is one of my essays for my UCF application, please tell what you think.

"Why did you choose University of Central Florida?" This is a question that is asked to me almost as often as "What do you want to be in the future?" Among my explanations and responses, I often reply by saying "why not UCF?" I first fell in love with UCF during my 2009 summer vacation in Orlando. Because I was approaching my senior year in high school, I decided to visit the Orlando campus while I was there. As I walked through the beautiful campus of UCF, I was immediately attracted to the liveliness of the university. In addition to the liveliness of the campus, the location of UCF in the heart of one of America's most popular cities added tremendous desire for me to attend this university. Having interest in the medical field, the newly founded and modern medical program at UCF has greatly influenced my desire to attend this college. After realizing that UCF was the college that I wanted to be at in my future, I began to read statements from students and alumni of UCF. As I read through these statements, I noticed a relationship between the students and the professors that not many colleges possess. And last but not least, my desire to attend UCF was heightened as I became aware of all of the extracurricular activities offered my the college. Having participated in sports and other organization for most of my life, extracurricular activities has definitely become one of my key things to look for in a college and UCF definitely has what I am looking for. In conclusion, liveliness, location, academics, and activities are among the many reason why I have chosen to apply at the University of Central Florida.

Undergraduate / My Unusual Experience at the Hospital - Univesity of Florida Essay [3]

Hello, this is my essay for the University of Florida. Please let me know what you think, any suggestions are welcome. The topic is:
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

"Excuse me! I need to pass through this hallway," said a nurse to me as I stood puzzled and astonished at the busyness of the hospital on my first day of volunteering. Maneuvering around nurses, patients, and machines of all sorts, I made my way to the nurses station to report for my first day as a volunteer. "Hey! You must be our new candy striper," yelled the nurse at the desk, "lets get you all settled in, don't worry life is pretty easy up here; you'll get the hang of things in no time." However, the nurses encouragement proved to be false as I began my invaluable experience at the hospital.

It was my fourth day as a volunteer and with less than a week of experience, the fast pace environment at the hospital was still obscure to me. As I began my new routine at the hospital, I turned a corner at the end of the hall and I found myself frantically shouting "Help, help! Nurse someone fell down over here!" My heart racing at a pace I had never felt before, I was sent into a state of shock as a stood there overwhelmed by the situation. "Hey volunteer, check her pulse!" shouted one of the nurses, snapping me out of my shock. As nurses hastily ran over to assist, I placed my figures, shaking from the excitement, on the patient's neck to check her pulse . "It might be her blood pressure, get a BP cart over there," another nurse exclaimed. As I stood back in overwhelming astonishment, a doctor got a hold of me and a student nurse and forced us back into the circle around the patient. As the other nurses focused on the patient's vitals and temperature, the doctor said to me and the student nurse, "her blood pressure may be too low, we need to get her feet above her head to get the blood flowing to her head." As we stood there holding the patients feet in the air, the very few minutes that passed by felt as if we were standing there for hours. "What happen? Where am I?" said the disoriented patient, who finally to my relief was back to a full conscious state.

After all of the excitement was over, nurses and the doctor commended me on my promptness in the situation. This experience allowed me to establish a new level of comfort and self-confidence in the hospital; I did not hesitate to assist nurses and patients around the hospital anymore, but instead felt the responsibility of being attentive to my surrounding. This event showed me that the actions of one group of individuals can impact another individual's life immensely. I now seek to be a positive influence on the life's of those around me as the nurses and doctors were to me; and would like to continue this desire in the community of the University of Florida.

Undergraduate / Strength, Art, and Tradition. Writing this essay has helped me fathom who I really am. [5]

Hi, I'm sure you have seen pleanty of these essays but if you could bear to see one more I would appreciate it =)

Please tell me what you think, and any suggestions you might have. I am also over by 3 words, so if you find 3 words I can remove please let me know.

Thanks!

This is my essay for FSU and the topic is:
For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" (...)

As the Latin proverb experientia docet-experience teaches-expresses, the life experiences I have gained greatly contribute to values reflected in my life today. An individual's values are not dependent to one aspect alone; a variety of concepts defines every person to set them aside from another. The philosophy behind Florida State University, "Vires, Artes, Mores," in my life, signifies strength, beauty of art, and tradition.

First, "Vires" signifies strength in my life. The greatest test of strength in my life began three years ago when I was faced with asthma. The problem began after the first few weeks of my cross country season. As the mileage rolled by at practice, I noticed myself wheezing and struggling to fill my lungs with air after only minutes of running. My mother, already over-protective of my health, immediately scheduled an appointment with a specialist, who discovered that I had developed asthma. I was prescribed an inhaler, but to my disappointment, its minute help was not enough to get me through practice. Unwilling to give up my passion of running, I continued to run through that season and endured the struggle at practice each day. As time passed and the temperature began to drop, breathing was once again an effortless task due to my physical strength to endure.

Next, "Artes" signifies beauty of art in my life. A yearbook to me is one of the most cherishable pieces of art. My fascination in editing pictures and designing brochures led me to join the yearbook staff at my high school as an editor. The beauty of art through photographs is shown to me as I am able to transform an old and dull picture, into a vibrant and vivid picture. A beautiful photograph in my eyes, is one with many colors that tie together to make a magnificent piece of art. After a years worth of time and effort, the final copy of a yearbook is the beauty of art in my life.

Last, "Mores" signifies tradition in my life. Tradition, it is the beliefs, customs, and practices handed down from one generation to the next. Born into an Indian family, tradition has always been an influential part of my life. Tradition influenced my life even as a toddler, for growing up my first language was not English, but instead "Gujarati," the language of my ancestors. In addition to language, my family tradition has also allowed me to take part in various Indian celebrations such as Holi or Festival of Color and Diwali or Festival of Light. Although I seek to maintain my Indian traditions, I am also an American and enjoy introducing new traditions into my family. Experiencing both Indian and American traditions allows me to see the similarities and differences between two cultures.

Writing this essay has helped me fathom who I really am, I have discovered that with just three small words-"Vires, Artes, Mores"-I have an aptitude for physical strength, a fascination with the beauty of art, and a respect for tradition.