twinkle_star
Sep 11, 2020
Writing Feedback / Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? [4]
These are my suggestions for your essay. I didn't correct the second body paragraph as it was not needed.
Firstly, u didnt paraphrase the question. Secondly, solution was not asked in the prompt.
...candy, snacks and sugary drinks
...theyare containing contain very high in fat
....sedentary lifestyles
.....theirown time watching TV
These are my suggestions for your essay. I didn't correct the second body paragraph as it was not needed.
Firstly, u didnt paraphrase the question. Secondly, solution was not asked in the prompt.
...candy, snacks and sugary drinks
...they
....sedentary lifestyle
.....their