Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by lobodobo
Name: Kushagra Sharma
Joined: Nov 26, 2020
Last Post: Nov 30, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: India
School: Laxmi Global School

Displayed posts: 6
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lobodobo   
Nov 30, 2020
Scholarship / Scholarship essay on self reference in third person. (300 words) [5]

@hahasowhat
Oh, thanks for your response! I didn't mention any dream because this is a third-person essay and dreams are something personal. Also, can you tell me what being creative in this sense means? I for some reason am unable to what I need to write for that.

@Holt please provide your expertise here no matter how harsh. I would love to improve my essay.
lobodobo   
Nov 29, 2020
Scholarship / Scholarship essay on self reference in third person. (300 words) [5]

reference letter



The full question is- "The students who are nominated for the ____ International Scholarship are students who have demonstrated exceptional academic achievement and creativity, who are accepted as leaders within their school, and who have the potential to contribute to the global community in the future. They can be distinguished from other students who may have equally high academic results by virtue of their breadth of interest, intellectual energy and impact on the life of their school and community.

Write a letter of reference for yourself in the third person describing how the applicant (you) meets these criteria. The letter should refer to the specific achievements and experiences. It may also comment on any weaknesses. (300 word maximum)
"

My answer is- "Kushagra is definitely a leader at heart. He has fantastic people skills and makes sure he achieves what he has sought out to do. This is the reason he maintained the highest post available for his age group for every year he was eligible to be in the student council including becoming the house captain with more than 80% of the votes. He was also the leader of our computer club which went on to win a state-level ethical hacking competition. Kushagra is a person that is not afraid to face difficult tasks and rather, he immediately starts thinking about how to overcome them. This has been demonstrated multiple times while organising school events with a tight budget and schedule. One such event that comes to mind was our teachers day celebration. Where we, unfortunately, had to scrap a major part of the event one day before the event but Kushagra took charge and diligently worked the entire day and organised multiple games and events for our special occasion.

Furthermore, he is also our Campus Ambassador. Meaning he represents our entire campus for ______. His responsibilities include advising our students on academic matters often involving international studies and carrying out administrative roles during university webinars. Other than that, Kushagra is also an invaluable member of our football and swimming team. His teamwork led our school to state-level competitions. He has also won multiple medals in track and field sports.

Kushagra is undoubtedly academically capable. He has consistently been first in class since middle school. He scored 6 A's and A* in IGCSE, 4A's in As Level and is predicted all A's in A-Level too. This definitely makes him a strong role model among junior students and we believe he will thrive in such roles in the future too."

The questions asks us to write about specific achievements so I've tried to write a lot of them. This is a rather competitive scholarship so I really want to do well in this. Please inform me about incorrect grammar, word choice and punctuations too if you can. Thanks!

This essay requires more effort; please contact us at essayforum.com@gmail.com to request private services, thank you.
lobodobo   
Nov 28, 2020
Writing Feedback / The data based on the chart presenting the wheat exports of three areas from 1985 to 1990 [3]

There are some spelling and grammatical mistakes in your work. The 'considerable' in the first line should become 'considerably'. The 'letter' in the second line should become 'later'. Then you talk about how between 1985 and 1986 wheat export fell for 5 years. This does not make sense. "Finally..." should become "Finally, the data shows that wheat export of Australia saw a mild growth from 15 to 17...".
lobodobo   
Nov 27, 2020
Scholarship / Scholarship essay on academic objectives and how they'd be relevant for my long term goal. 100 words [3]

The full question is-
"

Describe your academic objectives and indicate how these are appropriate to your long-range goals.


Please include specifically how a Bachelor's degree from the University of Toronto will contribute to your achieving your longer-range goals.
"

My answer is-
"I plan on pursuing Computer Science from the University of Toronto. My long-term goal is to create cyber-security systems because it is inevitable that the world is going to indulge more and more into the internet and technology as a whole and virtual security will keep becoming ever more important. Academically, I am determined to broaden my knowledge about computers and that is my primary goal but, proof of knowledge is vital too, and a degree at the University of Toronto is a perfect blend of world-class programs and the well deserved world-class recognition."

I'm not sure if this is good enough. Any points on how I could improve this would be appreciated.
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