zebrasapien
Nov 17, 2009
Essays / Influential Black Person (a local essay contest) [11]
Thanks. I'll think about that. I'm not fully decided on Jimi Hendrix though.
Thanks. I'll think about that. I'm not fully decided on Jimi Hendrix though.
zebrasapien
Nov 6, 2009
Essays / Influential Black Person (a local essay contest) [11]
Now that I have all of my facts for what I'm writing about, I'm starting my essay. I'll be writing about Jimi Hendrix. I want to write about his music while still stating the fact that he was black. He didn't really have any setbacks for being black that prevented him from being a musician, so that makes it difficult to state he was black. Could anyone help me with a good thesis, please?
Now that I have all of my facts for what I'm writing about, I'm starting my essay. I'll be writing about Jimi Hendrix. I want to write about his music while still stating the fact that he was black. He didn't really have any setbacks for being black that prevented him from being a musician, so that makes it difficult to state he was black. Could anyone help me with a good thesis, please?
zebrasapien
Nov 6, 2009
Poetry / where is the..? [7]
Where are you from? Is it not important? I think I could understand this poem much better if I knew some background information. I like it, though.
Where are you from? Is it not important? I think I could understand this poem much better if I knew some background information. I like it, though.
zebrasapien
Nov 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / Should people let their feelings guid them? [4]
That's very well written and has excellent examples, but maybe you should write about your gut feelings to pursue something you have the passion and ambition for and will be happy to keep doing that for the rest of your life. For example, my passion is to be a fighter pilot, and I'm willing to do anything get to it because even if it kills me, I'll be doing what I love. I'm also still doing a gut feeling by providing my insight to your thread because someone just replied to my thread, and I feel that I have to pay it forward.
That's very well written and has excellent examples, but maybe you should write about your gut feelings to pursue something you have the passion and ambition for and will be happy to keep doing that for the rest of your life. For example, my passion is to be a fighter pilot, and I'm willing to do anything get to it because even if it kills me, I'll be doing what I love. I'm also still doing a gut feeling by providing my insight to your thread because someone just replied to my thread, and I feel that I have to pay it forward.
zebrasapien
Nov 4, 2009
Undergraduate / UC Prompt #1 The key to my world [9]
Thanks for replying. Do you have to write something truthful? If you'd like, I'll let you borrow parts of my life to write about as if it were your life. It's about how I didn't really know what America was until I turned six because I lived in Germany since I was three. This resulted in less nationalism like saying "USA Number One!" and more caring about what went on in other countries.
Thanks for replying. Do you have to write something truthful? If you'd like, I'll let you borrow parts of my life to write about as if it were your life. It's about how I didn't really know what America was until I turned six because I lived in Germany since I was three. This resulted in less nationalism like saying "USA Number One!" and more caring about what went on in other countries.
zebrasapien
Nov 4, 2009
Essays / Influential Black Person (a local essay contest) [11]
How funny! I am a music geek! I might actually write about him or Junior Kimbrough, but I do kinda want to write about civil rights. Do you know any black bassists?
How funny! I am a music geek! I might actually write about him or Junior Kimbrough, but I do kinda want to write about civil rights. Do you know any black bassists?
zebrasapien
Nov 4, 2009
Poetry / Poem about Nothing.... [10]
That's good, but I didn't really get it. Was it really about nothing, or was it about something that was nothing? Were you missing commas after guys, or was that just a it should have been?
Also, any tips in poetry? I've been writing about things the last couple of days to help myself vent about how things that unnerve me. I want to make this into poetry. I've heard that poetry is all about how you break the lines, and if you feel enthusiastic enough, rhyme.
That's good, but I didn't really get it. Was it really about nothing, or was it about something that was nothing? Were you missing commas after guys, or was that just a it should have been?
Also, any tips in poetry? I've been writing about things the last couple of days to help myself vent about how things that unnerve me. I want to make this into poetry. I've heard that poetry is all about how you break the lines, and if you feel enthusiastic enough, rhyme.
zebrasapien
Nov 4, 2009
Essays / Influential Black Person (a local essay contest) [11]
For a local essay contest, my topic is about an influential black person. I want something that stands out, not something boring like Martin Luther King Jr. or George Washington Carver. I don't want to write about Obama either because it would be too soon to say he is influential. I want to write about someone who will really grab the readers' attention. I'm no great writer, but I can be great. My writing is very inconsistent. Today I got an essay back from my teacher and had a 1.5 of 6. For the standardized writing test I took last year, I got a 6 of 6 on an essay about paper. I think I write worse on sensitive topics. That 1.5 was on an essay about how manners of Americans are going away, or at least how the prompt maker dude thought, in response to Kanye West and Serena Williams. That paper essay was about how an innovation of my choosing changed the world. I'd really appreciate the help.
The prompt says: "Choose an African American who has made a positive difference to our nation. Think about what difference you think the person has made. Now write to convince your reader that the person you chose has made a positive difference."
For a local essay contest, my topic is about an influential black person. I want something that stands out, not something boring like Martin Luther King Jr. or George Washington Carver. I don't want to write about Obama either because it would be too soon to say he is influential. I want to write about someone who will really grab the readers' attention. I'm no great writer, but I can be great. My writing is very inconsistent. Today I got an essay back from my teacher and had a 1.5 of 6. For the standardized writing test I took last year, I got a 6 of 6 on an essay about paper. I think I write worse on sensitive topics. That 1.5 was on an essay about how manners of Americans are going away, or at least how the prompt maker dude thought, in response to Kanye West and Serena Williams. That paper essay was about how an innovation of my choosing changed the world. I'd really appreciate the help.
The prompt says: "Choose an African American who has made a positive difference to our nation. Think about what difference you think the person has made. Now write to convince your reader that the person you chose has made a positive difference."
zebrasapien
Nov 4, 2009
Undergraduate / Aviation - Essay question for a job? I enjoy flying. I am a student pilot. [5]
I think I may have some facts you should know before you finalize that draft. I'm a high school student and my school has an aerospace program, and my teacher was an air traffic controller for the army. He said that the generation of ATC from the 50s to 70s will be retiring in the next 20 some years or so. These guys compose most of the ATC in America today. After they all retire, this new generation will have to fill up the shortage. If you have the skills and ambition, you should be a good candidate for this job. This job pays well because of this shortage, but this is a dangerous career. You need the best in those towers. Include the information on the growing shortage, and if you have those skills, you'll get that job. Also, these guys want someone who's going to stay for a long time. If you're doing this to get to explore the career of aviation, and you might leave that job to be a pilot or airport manager or something, they may not want you.
Good luck on that interview! :)
I think I may have some facts you should know before you finalize that draft. I'm a high school student and my school has an aerospace program, and my teacher was an air traffic controller for the army. He said that the generation of ATC from the 50s to 70s will be retiring in the next 20 some years or so. These guys compose most of the ATC in America today. After they all retire, this new generation will have to fill up the shortage. If you have the skills and ambition, you should be a good candidate for this job. This job pays well because of this shortage, but this is a dangerous career. You need the best in those towers. Include the information on the growing shortage, and if you have those skills, you'll get that job. Also, these guys want someone who's going to stay for a long time. If you're doing this to get to explore the career of aviation, and you might leave that job to be a pilot or airport manager or something, they may not want you.
Good luck on that interview! :)