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Posts by giangkc1811
Name: Giang Phan
Joined: Feb 15, 2021
Last Post: Mar 29, 2021
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: Viet Nam
School: Foreign Trade University

Displayed posts: 5
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giangkc1811   
Mar 29, 2021
Writing Feedback / To afford a house instead of renting one is tremendously essential for people in some nations [3]

@Holt
Firstly, I want to thank you for giving me those comments.
Secondly, I want to make this clear. I learned the structure " it is true", so I think it has nothing wrong here. Moreover, in the second paragraph, I discussed 2 reasons and you pointed out my lack of the second reason. But actually, I use "another driving factor'' to replace "secondly", which made it harder to follow. However, I discussed both of the 2 reasons, and the paragraph is all complete.
giangkc1811   
Mar 28, 2021
Writing Feedback / To afford a house instead of renting one is tremendously essential for people in some nations [3]

[IELTS WRITING TASK 2]

IN SOME COUNTRIES, OWNING A HOME RATHER THAN RENTING ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE


WHY MIGHT THIS BE THE CASE? DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE SITUATION?

It is true that having the capacity to afford a house instead of renting one is tremendously essential for everyone in some nations. This is attributable to a host of reasons, and in this essay, I am going to prove that it would be an extremely positive circumstance.

There are two underlying reasons as to why people give priority to buying a house rather than renting one when it comes to accommodation. First and foremost, if a person had his own house, he could do anything as his desire in it without asking for others' permission. For instance, he might decorate the house with new ornaments, furniture or repaint the walls with his favorite colors. Furthermore, he can have that house equipped with cutting-edge technologies such as air-conditioners, washing machines or refrigerators, which is conducive to a more convenient and comfortable life. In case people are staying in a renting house, it is imperative to negotiate with the landlord about all the costs incurred and other problems related if they wish to have any change in the house. Another driving factor that results in people's inclination towards purchasing a house is its stability, especially when they prepare to settle down. It is undeniable that people can mitigate their concerns about paying the rental price each month as well as changing their accommodation when the rental contract expires.

I would contend that people trying to purchase a home instead of renting a temporary place is totally rational. Since once people harbour a dream of doing something significant, they will certainly stop procrastinating and apply themselves to reach their goal. As buying a house is not that straightforward, it is so rewarding for those who have the drive and enthusiasm. Even if people are poor at the beginning, after a long period of making money and saving it, they can eventually enjoy the feeling of owning a home. Moreover, when considering another perspective, their country can get benefits from a thriving economy as its citizens are contributing more and more for the sake of a lucrative income.

In conclusion, the sense of comfort and stability are to blame for the trend of owning a private home instead of opting for a renting one, and I am convinced that this phenomenon has a number of positive implications for both individuals and society.
giangkc1811   
Mar 28, 2021
Writing Feedback / Going to school or homeschooling [5]

The way that you are using to divide your essay is inappropriate. There should not be just one sentence is a paragraph. You should add more information and details to support your main idea in a paragraph
giangkc1811   
Mar 28, 2021
Scholarship / Autobiography to apply scholarship study abroad [5]

I am a little confused when reading through your essay. It is long but without a appropriate structure which makes it hard for readers to follow and understand your main idea. I hope you can divide your essay into smaller paragraphs and just focus one main idea in each paragraph
giangkc1811   
Feb 15, 2021
Writing Feedback / Should sharing knowledge about scientific research, business and the academic world be allowed? [2]

IELTS

Should scientific research, business and the academic world be shared freely or not?



It is certain that sharing knowledge about scientific research, business and the academic world could be beneficial to the development of the world. However, I don't think we should share all information freely, especially some important or valuable one.

On the one hand, we are all living in a world with a ton of explorations and transformations on a daily basis. People in different countries are constantly in the process of seeking for new ideas to invent more creative and effective applications, for the sake of both individual and general purposes. Because we are all human beings, we should share useful information with others to contribute to the whole community. That will definitely do wonders by making people live more happily and conveniently. Moreover, the person who shared that knowledge will receive the society's recognition and gratitude for his efforts. For example, when someone can find a way to cure a dangerous disease, he can save the life of so many people and make a significant contribution to the world.

On the other hand, it is not worth sharing the important or valuable information without receiving anything. I suppose that we had better pay an equivalent price for that as the inventors or researchers- the ones who create the new inventions had to put on so many efforts including their time and money. Therefore, if they could not gain anything back, it would absolutely be unfair to them. Moreover, others who are brilliant and talented may gradually lose their interest and motivation in making any contribution for the society.

In conclusion, although sharing knowledge is a great way to boost the development of the world in all fields such as economics, science, medical,...people should pay a proper price for what they want to obtain from others.
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