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Posts by alicebui191 [Suspended]
Name: Bui Nguyen Thanh Hien
Joined: Apr 24, 2021
Last Post: Apr 26, 2021
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
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From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 7
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alicebui191   
Apr 26, 2021
Writing Feedback / TOEFL : You will not learn much about life if you are always comfortable. [4]

in comfortable and in easy way: "in a comfortable and easy way" or "in comfortable and easy ways".

You can also use "long to" or "desire to" instead of "want to".

I think this sentence "it is just like wanting to earn a money without a job which is impossible but knowing about life by facing struggle push you more further in life, helps you know more about life" is quite long and does not clearly deliver your idea due to the structure.

earn a money: earn money

There're many repeated words that make your essay less attractive as well.
alicebui191   
Apr 26, 2021
Writing Feedback / Living in a media-rich society. Essay about the influence of the media on our lives. [3]

I think instead of "it can't be denied", you can say "It is undeniable that..."
"Firstly, it's pretty helpful for people to get online conservation in any nation..." you mean "conversation"?

Additionally, you can also write about some noticeable issues such as cyberbullying, spreading unconfirmed rumors, etc. These issues are also the top concerns since they are the causes of many suicides.
alicebui191   
Apr 26, 2021
Writing Feedback / Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication? [2]

This is my IELTS writing practice. Please leave a comment if you find out any mistakes or you want to share your own opinions about this topic. I appreciate all of your comments. Thank you.

SPOKEN COMMUNICATION IS MORE POWERFUL THAN WRITTEN COMMUNICATION.

TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?



Some people are of the opinion that speaking is a more powerful form of communication than writing. Personally, I believe that both methods are highly effective; however, it simply depends upon the specific circumstances as to which are the most appropriate at the time.

Speaking is an extremely effective and efficient mode of communication in certain contexts. The tone of someone's voice can powerfully convey a wide range of emotions, which definitely helps people connect on an emotional level. Oral communication enables listeners to obviously experience speakers' complex emotions like sadness, joyfulness or anger, etc in order to have apposite responses. Besides, misunderstandings and conflicts can also be easily prevented when people interact face to face. For example, if someone is confused about what the other is saying, they can immediately ask for further explanation, and speakers can also adjust misapprehensions.

On the other hand, writing can also be an effective tool in daily communication. In the workplace, written documents are valuable tools, while speech may sometimes be ignored or interpreted in different ways, written forms are usually stated very clearly. Additionally, written documents are easy to be archived and usually required in legal matters. This is the reason why many important documents, including memos, reports, job descriptions, and e-mails, are usually kept in written form. Moreover, on several occasions, people tend to enjoy sending and reading letters to congratulate someone on their success or birthday, especially declare one's love to others. Letters can help them express their feelings that they do not bravely say in words in daily life.

To sum up, both modes of communication have their own purposes, benefits, and drawbacks. It is a must to carefully consider which form to apply in particular situations.
alicebui191   
Apr 26, 2021
Writing Feedback / Everybody should travel since there are many clear advantages that traveling provides [3]

I think instead of "too", it's better to use "as well" for your essay.

And some words and sentences can be rewritten:
1. "so many advantages": several obvious advantages
2. "First of all, they can spend time in other countries, which often has many differences in culture." can be written like this "First of all, spending holidays or day-offs in other countries enables people to extremely experience distinctive cultural attractions."

You can also put some more adj and adv in the sentences to make your essay more attractive.
alicebui191   
Apr 24, 2021
Writing Feedback / Should TV channels give equal time for women's sport and men's sport? [3]

Today, TV channels show more men's sports than women's sports.


Why is this the case? Should TV channels give equal time for women's sport and men's sport?


People have been taking more of an interest in playing and watching sports these days. However, there is a significant distinction between the sports coverage on television for the two genders. I believe that women's sports should get just as much coverage as men's, and will outline my reasons in the following essay.

To begin with, there are several understandable reasons for the dominance of men's sports programs on television. Due to the large proportion of sports viewers being male, men's sports programs tend to be given an impetus to the broadcast in television channels' efforts to maximize ratings and profits. Take football as an example. Inside a coffee shop, it is common to be conscious of seeing a rally of young men discussing ebulliently a recent men's football match, while women show a greater preference for having a usual chat about other topics like shopping, cosmetics, or celebrity gossip. Additionally, since men are ordinarily physically stronger and faster than women, they tend to play at a much higher level, which definitely makes men's sports much more riveting to watch.

However, I certainly support the viewpoint that it is indispensable to provide equal sports coverage for both genders and bolster women's sports programs. Firstly, it obviously helps to create gender equality in society and support the ramp-up in the sport participation rate of women. Every time women go out onto the field, they give it their all knowing that their best will likely go unnoticed, and therefore just like men, female athletes should receive full recognition for their effort. Although men are stronger than women, we could not believe that women are not cut out for sports. Secondly, better media coverage also enables women to make money from endorsements which improve their income. That is to say, more television exposure for female players will lead to major deals with endorsers and higher salaries in the future through advertising contracts.

In conclusion, why women's sports shows do not receive adequate coverage in this day and age results from the aforementioned reasons, and I truly believe that it is a must to ensure coverage of women's sports as extensive as men's.
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